can't find a specific fcking fanfic and its driving me insane

so back in my emo days I used to read kellic fanfiction (dont judge me i was literally 12) but now i kinda wanna read a specific one again bc lowkey it was really good but idk how tf im supposed to find it again bc i cant remember who wrote it or what its called ?? kellin had an abusive dad and it was so long holy shit so many chapters, vic was in a band and they were in high school and there was a fuck tonne of angst, kellin was self harming + suicidal but thats all i remember, I think the authour did a sequel where kellic were adults or in college married/moved in and living together and it was cute and shit but i cant find it and i wanna read it TT I'm pretty sure there was some smut in there too but I cant remember ughhh pls help I'm struggling