all that filthy empathy for the way we're feeling

Psychology textbook diagrams never cease to amaze me

ok y'all this isn’t a psych textbook gaslighting you into thinking it’s normal and ok for your boss to yell at you, it’s specifically about understanding that other people’s treatment of you is usually more about them than you. If your boss is pissy with you, it’s absolutely more healthy to understand that behavior as a reflection of his mental state rather than of your worth as an employee. It’s not a psych textbook’s job to advise you how to improve your workplace or say what is/isn’t acceptable treatment by a boss. It’s an example of detaching your own self-worth from how other people treat you.

^^THIS!

In fact, if you let yourself think of other people’s treatment as a reflection on YOU more than it is on THEM, it can prevent you from getting things done.

Or, in other words,

ok, im rb'ing this again because this actually helped me finally be able to take advantage of cognitive restructuring in a way i’ve struggled to do for a long time. Ive been able to get to the my boss was having a bad day part, but i’ve always struggled to use that mental change to do something that would improve the situation. but because of this diagram, i THINK ive got it figured out. Here’s a rough explanation of how I interperet this.

Real life example:

Boss yelling: My mom is snapping at me, calling me “disrespectful” no matter how I speak to her, and getting mad at me for having missing assignments He was having a bad day: She’s stressed due to my grandma being in the hospital He shouldn’t take it out on me: just because she’s stressed doesn’t mean she gets to be mean to me. Unionize: I advocate for myself, saying that I’m not being disrespectful and that it’s okay to have missing assignments because I’m doing my best Fuck his wife: I am unapologetically proud of myself for what i manage to do in a day, especially if my mom disapproves of it or doesn’t view it as productive, as my own little “fuck you” to her.

End result: no depression.

This actually works and its amazing. Thanks to the meme side of tumblr for accidentally developing a highly effective method for coping with people who treat you like shit

i hope you realise i have immediately added ‘unionise! fuck his wife! no depression!’ to my mantras for living

If you wouldn't go to someone for advice, don't take their criticism either.

Wait whoa

op woke up and chose logic today and idk how i feel about that

I love fan fiction so much bc it seems like you’re reading about the ways one character loves another but really you’re reading about all the ways the writer loves both of them and it makes you love them too

“everything will be okay”: shallow and dismissive comfort that establishes impossible goal an indefinite future away

“in two weeks you will have different problems”: so true bestie the human experience

There is a crack in the storytelling That’s how fanfic gets in

ADHD is only motivated by 5 things: -urgency -challenge -novelty and play -interest -being a contrarian little bitch

i’m also very food motivated

We’re cats.

“And I don’t think anybody should feel bad if they get diagnosed with a mental illness, ’cause it’s just information about you that helps you to know how to take better care of yourself.

“Being bipolar, there’s nothing wrong with it. Being bipolar is like not knowing how to swim. It might be embarrassing to tell people, and it might be hard to take you certain places. But they have arm floaties. And if you just take your arm floaties, you can go wherever the hell you want.

“And I know some of you are like, ‘But Taylor, what if people judge me for taking arm floaties?’ Well, those people don’t care if you live or die, so maybe who cares? Maybe fuck those people a little. I don’t know.”

Taylor Tomlinson, Look At You (2022)

while you were attending therapy i was studying the blade

what do you mean i need better coping mechanisms

>a wild therapist has entered the chat you need an additional coping mechanism studying the blade is a DBT principle called Building Mastery - wherein you engage in anything that is practical during which you gain skill and can actively see yourself progress - which is resilience building technique by which you shore yourself against vulnerability factors that make it harder to regulate emotions and manage activities of daily life and interpersonal interactions effectively. if you continue to study the blade while engaging in therapy, it will in fact make your therapeutic session more effective because having a skill that you pursue builds self-esteem and is a foundation upon which other coping skills can be built. so not better coping skills, blademaster, additional ones. you are already heading in the right direction and you have proven you have the tenacity to apply yourself to one discipline. now show us what you can do when applying yourself to your healing.

to be honest there has never been a fictional character i’ve actually wanted to date. like. i want them to date each other. i don’t want myself as a person to be involved in this scenario whatsoever. what would i add to this narratively? what’s my thematic purpose in the narrative? immersion breaking. 

i saw this post a while ago about how it’s common for former avid book readers to have burnt out and now solely read fanfiction because the characters and dynamics aren’t a new thing to assimilate, which i definitely relate to, but i also think there’s another component to it, which is divided in three parts: 1- there is no word limit for fanfiction; 2- the authors don’t have to worry about selling a good enough base story before getting to the details; 3- since we already know the general stuff about the characters, there’s more space to explore their psyche and thought processes in depth. this makes fanfiction an extremely rich method of storytelling – it’s not just about cause-consequence relations and sharing of information that is crucial to a story. it’s character analyses that stem from years-long observation; it’s different points of view on the essence of characters and nature of their interactions. it’s a raw portrayal that enables us to connect to the story and feel the relationships that make it in a way that is simply not possible when reading a material whose source is relatively finite. and idk i just think sometimes reading or writing fanfiction is seen as something fun but sorta immature. like we’re not ready for the real stories, when actually, the stories we have access to are often richer than anything you could get from a 250-page book.

Please return us to a world where Notp and squick are used for a ship you don’t like instead of just making up a load of bullshit about how immoral it is or w/e lol 

a short selection of concepts and phrases that used to be commonplace in fandom and we’d really benefit from making that a thing again:

NOTP: the opposite of an OTP (One True Pairing). It is a ship a fan strongly dislikes. The word is a portmanteau of ‘no’ and ‘OTP’ and thus is not a contraction of any particular phrase.

Squick: anything that is a deep-seated, visceral turn-off. Squicks may be shared by many fans or be specific to one; one person’s kink may be another person’s squick.

YKINMKATO, or kink-tomato: Your Kink Is Not My Kink, And That’s Okay: used to indicate support for fannish diversity and to distinguish between disapproval or kink shaming and simply having different taste.

DLDR: Don’t Like, Don’t Read: a phrase used to warn against complaints about an aspect of fic or meta. A “live and let live” philosophy of fandom, which places the responsability for avoiding content one doesn’t want to see on the side of the fanwork consumer, rather that on the creator’s.

SALS: Ship And Let Ship: similar to the above specifically about shipping tastes.

YMMV: Your Mileage May Vary: a phrase used to acknowledge that any given individual’s personal opinion on the topic at hand may differ due to their own tastes, standards, values, experiences, etc.

As the OP points out, all of these crucially imply no moral judgment of what they’re designing.

(definitions lifted more or less wholesale from fanlore’s relevant pages)

bring the healthy fun back to fandom!

I would very much like to celebrate Christmas at 221B Baker Street with these guys 🥹❤️

I could listen to Sherlock's violin play all night 🎻😍

The Circleville Herald, Ohio, April 18, 1957

Honestly being overworked makes people unobservant and passive and it literally kills people every day. People don’t seem to realize that an overworked nurse might not notice your sepsis symptoms and a tired truck driver might not notice your car when he’s merging into the lane. Failing to protect worker’s rights impacts nearly everyone

THIS. I want workers to be treated well for their own sake, but I NEED workers to be treated well for MY sake. We have got to stop glorifying eroding margin into the negative zones.

what do you mean normal people don’t get physically sick when they’re stressed out or when someone is mad at them

*looks at mcu and comics

*cough*Sherlock*cough*

Saw a meme saying "when life gives you demons, make demonade", and that is exactly the thought process behind being mentally ill and then making fucked up art about it.

For me, executive dysfunction feels like the moment before you rip off a bandaid. You want to do it; you need to do it, but your brain keeps telling you not to, because you know if you do, it’ll hurt. That’s what executive dysfunction feels like, but like, all the time.