Gardening is a Crowley thing. The only thing Crowley devotes any personal attention to in his apartment is his lush garden which he demands meet his exacting standards.

When Crowley and Aziraphale have to spend years in each others back pockets raising Warlock Dowling, Aziraphale chooses to disguise himself as …the gardener. You can’t tell me Aziraphale didn’t spend half his time trolling Nanny Crowley with his ‘kind-hearted’ and ineffective gardening techniques.

I can’t help but picture Crowley, dressed as Nanny Ashtoreth, in the garden, at 2 in the morning, viciously doing some damage-control ‘gardening.’

“Just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing” indeed.

Okay but no, I’m suddenly OVERWHELMINGLY entertained by the idea of Aziraphale being nicer to plants than Crowley is, while also being UTTERLY INCOMPETENT as an actual gardener/horticulturitst/botanist. And him and Crowley getting into nightly arguments after Warlock has gone to bed like

Crowley: Praise! And Comfort! Are NOT SUBSTITUTES! FOR OPTIMAL NITROGEN LEVELS IN THE SOIL!!!!

Aziraphale: but crowley that orchid was positively in tears after you were finished berating it–

Crowley: SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE DID

I mean, he did tell Warlock that slugs and snails, two common garden PESTS, should be respected and cared for.

Catch Nanny on the lawn with a 10lb bag of salt, strongly disagreeing.

do u guys understand how creepy the pledge of allegiance is though like every day when ur a kid everybody just chants how great america is every morning it’s creepy

You do that every morning???

EVERY MORNING.

wait

wait

is this a real thing i thought that was just in the simpsons

no son

Wait, other countries don’t do this.

*whispers* Not even Russia

I remember when my dad had a conversation with me

because I asked him what the Austrian pledge of allegiance was (because he’s from Austria)

and he said “we don’t have a pledge of allegiance”

and I said “why not?”

“honey, think about what training your children to mindlessly pledge to a flag, without really knowing what they’re talking about, sounds like to Austrians”

“oh. hitler.”

“exactly”

RE FUCKING TWEET

Espeon and Umbreon by Sir Purl Grey

Free Crochet Pattern Here

OMFG <3 Free pattern on IG! 😍🙌🎉

It’s official. For real this time. The show’s over. Season 9 will officially be the end of the ride for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. 6 years after Twilicorn killed us, we’re finally dead. The official announcement reads as such: “Season 9 will be the last season of Friendship is Magic, but this is definitely not the end for My Little Pony – in fact, it’s just the beginning! As we continue development on our all new CGI movie, we are dedicated to continuing our beloved stories told on multi-platforms and in the coming months we will be able to share our exciting new content plans that promise to entertain and delight our fans in more magical ways than ever before. Stay tuned for updates!” There is a movie slated for 2021 that will be in CGI, but it’s unclear how it will relate to Friendship is Magic.

Big Jim Said This

So here it is guys

One more loop on the friendship coaster then the ejector seats are kicking us off the ride for good Press F to Pay Respects

Don’t you know…you’re my very best friends?

this is the only valid twitter thread

Alright, who’s gonna draw the fanart of Toothless in a tux

A fancy boy. 

A fancy boy indeed :D Here is my take on TuxToothless

THE WORLD NEEDS MORE TUX TOOTH

Imagine typing out this letter and not stopping halfway and thinking “Hmmm, this makes me sound like the worst human being in the world.”

Holy fucking shit

I found the response for anyone else who was curious

The response was exactly what I needed.

Oh my God I’m so glad I went into the notes and found this response ouo

YES.

Pretty sure that gift card only covered half the cost of that bedspread yarn regardless of the time and effort it took to actually make it.

What a horrible attitude to take around being given something like that.

is being into coffee an older sibling thing bc everyone i know who loves coffee is the oldest child

like every oldest child ik loves coffee, the middle child hates it/prefers tea, and the youngest will drink it but only if its super sweet n has a ton of milk

rb w/ if ur oldest, middle, or youngest child and how u feel about coffee

I’m the youngest of 5 (blended family) and I love coffee and tea :) but if you only want to count the siblings who have the exact same combination of parents as me then I’m the only child. 🤷🏼‍♀️

December 17th - a rescue plan

Some good news, I’ve been talking to two developers now and got them working together, we just had a meeting with the guys behind an existing large (millions of users) site similar to Tumblr, with a vibrant and open-minded community, and more importantly, it has open-minded owners who believe in free speech. They think we can get something done here to rescue the whole community.

I’m not allowed to reveal the site name yet. I can tell you it’s mainstream, open to everyone, open-minded and welcoming. (It’s not WordPress or any site owned by Facebook or Twitter. It’s not Pillowfort, that’s in closed beta. It’s not Ello, that’s mainly for artists. It’s not kinkspace or fetlife, those are too specialist. It’s not jux, that seems to be closed. It’s not Soup, that seems still in development and too small.)

One of the reasons for delaying the announcement for next few days is they don’t want a “land grab” where people take the names of current popular Tumblr users over there (cyber squatting). So they are looking at ways for existing Tumblr users to keep the same names on the new site.

More info over the days to come.

The plan is, broadly:

1. By December 9th, announcement of the new site and how to secure your username there

2. By December 10th, an online tool for bloggers to copy their existing content to the new site automatically, with the same tags and captions.

3. Bloggers will need to copy their content across between December 10th and December 17th if they want to use the automatic tool.

4. My understanding is that after December 17th there will be no public access to any “flagged” posts on Tumblr, but the original poster will still be able to see the flagged post (for a short time at least). Therefore, the original poster may still be able to manually download a post to their own PC or phone, after December 17th, and manually upload it to the other site. But if you have lots of posts that will take a long time, it will be better to use the automatic tool before December 17th.

Please understand that these dates are approximate and may change for technical or other reasons.

There may be a few rough edges or not so perfect looking site design on the transfer tool. Everyone is doing their best. The main goal here is to help as many people as possible preserve access to their content, in the short space of time Tumblr has allowed us, and preserve as much as possible of the Tumblr community spirit somewhere new.

The new site will cater for photo, GIF, text and html posts. It will not offer video and audio posts, due to cost reasons - maybe in future, but for now you will need to preserve video and audio content yourself in some other place.

If your Tumblr blog has a mixture of original content and reblogs, or all reblogs, all of that can be copied over to the new site. Reblogs will become “your” original content if nobody else posted them yet, otherwise they will be shown as reblogs. The devs are looking at ways to preserve attribution of reblogs back to the original Tumblr poster, if that person also moves to the new site.

Important: your Likes cannot be copied from Tumblr to the new site. You will have to go find the same posts again on the new site, and like them afresh.

(Similarly, existing reblog comments, asks, messages and other user interaction on Tumblr cannot be copied to the new site - that’s just too much to do, in the short time available.)

If you want to preserve any of your existing Liked posts on Tumblr, you will need to either: (1) download the post to your own PC, or: (2A) reblog it now to your own Tumblr blog, and then (2B) use the automatic tool, before December 17th, to move your whole Tumblr blog across to the new site.

If you have Liked a lot of posts here on Tumblr, the gridllr.com webapp should be able to help you do steps 1 and 2A quickly, I mean download or reblog.

(Someone complained to me today about the appearance of Gridllr on a phone. It’s best to use Gridllr on a PC, Mac or Tablet with a large screen.)

If you have liked a post here on Tumblr and the original poster decides to delete it, or even to delete their entire blog, some time before December 17th, then that post will be permanently lost. So if you want to be sure to preserve any of your Liked posts, you should best download or reblog as soon as possible. If it’s reblogged to your own blog it is safe from deletion, at least for next few days.

Obviously, you will lose access, after December 17th, to all past posts you have liked, if Tumblr has flagged them as NSFW. Again, the steps (1), or (2A) and (2B) covered above will be the only way to hold on to these posts.

Oh I so hope this works. It would be great to get this out so we can try to get as many people as possible all back in one place and not split up all over different platforms.

Please reblog

Sounds promising. Guess we’ll see.

It baffles and infuriates me that Hogwarts students don’t take Latin or Greek. Accio? Literally “I summon.” Lumos? Fucking “light.” Expelliarmus? Expel weapon!! Ooooh I wonder what Levicorpus does– you Dumb Ass Bastard. You ILLITERATE. It’s called Levicorpus, it lifts someone’s body, it LEVIES your goddamn CORPUS-

Hermione ghost wrote this

Priorities are often in a state of flux, you see.

Your job in heaven is to look after the pets whose owners have not arrived yet. It’s your first day

NOTE: Just wrote this on Instagram, am re-posting here.

By the end of the first week in heaven, most of the animals owners had arrived. However, there was one dog. He waited, day in, day out for his master to come. And everyday, he’d trot up to me and ask the same question: “Am I a good boy?” I’d smile. “Of course you are, Buddy!” But as the days turned to weeks and the weeks to months, Buddy became more discouraged. I too began to wonder where the poor dogs master was. So I went to God. He flipped through the roll and couldn’t find Buddy’s owner anywhere. 

I walked to where Buddy lay under a tree, the cooling shade playing on his soft, golden coat. He had his eyes closed, head resting on the fresh grass. 

“I know why my master isn’t here.” He said out of the blue. “He wasn’t a good boy.” I lay down next to Buddy. “What do you mean?” I asked. He continued. “He killed the little good boy. His little good boy. So I bit him. Again. And again. Until he stopped moving. Then the people with nets and guns showed up and they pointed one at me and then I was here.” 

We lay silent for quite some time. Slow tears rolled down my cheeks. The lump in my throat made it difficult to talk, but I managed to say the words.

“Buddy, you’re the goodest boy there is.”

*cries*

It wasn’t long after that when we found the little boy. He was with the children whose parents hadn’t arrived yet. There were bright faced kids running around, excited to be full of energy and life again. But one boy sat by himself, sad and still, and I knew that it was him. After a few minutes talking to the guardian looking after these children, some whose parents would be there soon, some whose parents wouldn’t come at all, I learned the boy would play with the others, but he wouldn’t speak.

Difficulty adjusting was common enough for murder cases, the guardian said, but so hard to see in small children. 

Buddy recognized the boy right away and sprinted toward him. The boy looked up with wide eyes and threw his arms around Buddy’s neck. The embrace seemed to last forever, but before I knew it, the pair leaped up and began to play.

Without a word, it was decided. The two good boys were each other’s now.

I know I’ve already reblogged this

But the addition deserves attention too

My heart… The addition makes it even better!

Holy fuck she knew

Wait…wait a minute, wait a minute, I just realized something!!!

What if she did know?

Think about it, Helen goes in to talk to Edna but Edna has already prepared a series of supersuits that are perfectly designed for every situation she and the kids are going to be in. And for some reason, we’ve all just accepted that, yeah, she’s Edna Mode, she would know these things, she’s just like that.

But what if we’ve all been missing something right in front of us?

We know Edna has affiliations with the government agency and has obviously been making suits for decades. Do you think the government is just going to get a random fashion designer to make these suits? Absolutely not.

They’re going to get a Super.

What if Edna is a Super with the power of future-vision? 

That’s how she knows exactly what suit to make, that’s how she knows that the kids are going to be in danger, that’s how she’s so aware of everything going on around her and catches everyone off guard.

She never looks back; she looks forward.

(Sorry for hijacking your post, OP.)

which is why the whole cape thing hit so hard. she didnt see it coming

I love the idea of a Super whose power is to amazingly see into the future and she just uses it for fashion design.

hey, one millenial to another?

don’t just leave the gen z kids to clean up this mess. i know we’re all tired, i know we’re all exhausted, but we cannot sit back on our nihilistic laurels and leave them to do this alone.

it’s time to stand back up. it’s time to get back in there. it’s time to fight that fight, and fight it harder.

it’s time to be the adults we wish had stood with us.

Sometimes, the pain of love is more fulfilling than the ache of loneliness.

This thread omg

you know that terrible moment when someone is talking to you and an intense pain hits and you lose track of what the person is saying because your brain is going AHHHHHH but you are so used to masking your pain that no one realizes something is wrong? so they keep talking?? and expect you to have a regular conversation? 

anyways I hate it

by Francesco Cinque

Pros of writing gay relationships: 

- gay

Cons of writing gay relationships:

- they both have THE SAME FCKIN PRONOUNS SO I CONSTANTLY HAVE TO NAME BOTH CHARACTERS BECAUSE OTHERWISE IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO TELL WHO’S DOING WHAT OR WHO’S SPEAKING WHO WILL SAVE ME FROM THIS HELL

I CAN’T BELIEVE THERE’S A POST ABOUT THIS. THE STRUGGLE IS REAL.

Worst way to deal with this: use epithets (the taller man, the blonde) DO NOT

Best way to deal with this: Use the pronouns a teensy bit more than you maybe feel is sufficient. Leave the fic for two days before editing (i.e. allow yourself to forget it a little). Come back and re-read. If at any point YOU can’t tell who’s doing what to whom, put names in. Leave the rest of the pronouns.

Also, for dialogue: use characterization instead of names. Let it be clear by the things that are said, the way they are said, who is saying them.

Readers are smart, let them infer sometimes. :)

Writers stress about overusing character names, but they’re typically “invisible” to the reader, just like the dialogue tag “said.” Don’t be afraid of using them! Except in dialogue. No one calls people by their names in dialogue as much as they do in fiction.

All of this is excellent advice. I say this even knowing @handypolymath is thinking her head on a desk somewhere over how many times she has to add names to the beginnings of scenes I started because I live for the pronoun.

I will also say that don’t get too worked up about the name usage in dialogue of the sentence feels right with it. Dialogue can be both naturalistic and a little exaggerated, and personally I think it can create a sense of intimacy for the reader. But, as always, be sparing, be judicious, be ever indebted to your beta…

All of this. Especially the “DO NOT use epithets” part. Nothing will make me back-button faster.

Us waiting for Incredibles 2:

Pixar:

I got real petty over on the Facebook page and IT WAS GLORIOUS.

This is me, going to check out Legendary Books now…

Publisher: We think that the way the fantasy genre treats women is problematic so we’re going to try and do better

A Fool: If you don’t like it why don’t you make your own!

Publisher: That

That is literally what we just said we are doing

GUESS WHO’S BACK, BIGOTED FUCKWADS?

BOY it feels good to be back in this particular saddle!

AHAHAHAHAHA we have a winner for today!

I need to read these books.