TIPS FOR NEW USERS COMING FROM REDDIT!!
- Look at them, they come to this place when they know they are not pure.
- Tenno use the keys, but they are mere trespassers.
- Only I, Vor, know the true power of the Void.
- I was cut in half,
- destroyed,
- but through its Janus Key, the Void called to me. It brought me here and here I was reborn.
- We cannot blame these creatures, they are being led by a false prophet, an impostor who knows not the secrets of the Void.
- Behold the Tenno, come to scavenge and desecrate this sacred realm.
- My brothers, did I not tell of this day? Did I not prophesize this moment?
- Now, I will stop them. Now I am changed, reborn through the energy of the Janus Key. Forever bound to the Void.
- Let it be known, if the Tenno want true salvation, they will lay down their arms, and wait for the baptism of my Janus key.
- It is time.
- I will teach these trespassers the redemptive power of my Janus key.
- They will learn it's simple truth.
- The Tenno are lost, and they will resist. But I, Vor, will cleanse this place of their impurity
warframe
warframe
warframe
warframe
warframe
warframe
warframe
warframe
warframe
warframe
warframe
oh dear
Warframe
Crack AU where Anakin can all of a sudden hear the background music that we all hear. Those pleasant chats with Palpy become a lot more ominous. Though Anakin admits that the fights have become a lot more epic. Thoughts?
Hahahahaha. Love it!
And okay, my first though was “and the galaxy was saved because even Anakin Skywalker would struggle to keep trusting Palpatine with that music playing in the background”
Anakin think he’s gone COMPLETELY insane (maybe he’s finally been electrocuted too many times and its fried his brain). He doesn’t tell anyone though because he can still fight just fine just… everything is a lot more musical. He doesn’t want to be thought crazy and taken off the front lines.
Once he figures out what the various musical cues mean he actually finds them useful in figuring out how dangerous a situation is. Also battles are so much cooler now and boring landscapes are slightly less boring because at least now they have mood music. Yep, he can live with this.
(Although he is always confused why the ominousness that is The Imperial March starts playing at some of his decisions)
*cracks up*
Anakin: I’m so worried about something. I should probably keep my feelings to myself and attempt to solve my problems by working with Palpatine. He seems like he has my best interests at heart.
Music: DUN DUN DUN, DUN DA-DUN, DUN DA-DUN!
Anakin: [pauses] [looks around] Uh…OK. I mean, I’ll…go talk to Obi-Wan?
Music: [hopeful woodwind instruments]
Anakin: …and be open and honest about my life and what is bothering me, and try to work out a non-violent resolution to my problems?
Music: [Force Theme plays]
Anakin: [smiles] All right! Huh. This is helpful.
Positive reinforcement at its finest. ;D
#lol#i’m just imagining the force throwing its metaphysical hands in the air like ‘subtlety obviously isn’t working with this one so have a whole#symphony of hints young reckless one’ (via @likealeafonthewind)
I’m crying from laughter, this is beautiful.
Anakin: *fucks up*
The Force: Son, please… Guess I’m gonna enable the hints menu.
THE HINTS MENU. *dies*
Maybe Obi-Wan hears the music, too, and then the day is saved.
Obi-Wan: [walking away] Welp, guess it’s off to kill Grievous I’m sure Anakin will be fi –
Music: [Duel of the Fates]
Obi-Wan: OMG not this shit again [runs back down the hall towards Anakin]
Anakin: [running back towards Obi-Wan] Obi-Wan I just heard that Ominous Music again and also I secretly married Padme and she’s pregnant and I haven’t slept in 6 days and I keep thinking she’s going to die and I AM FREAKING THE FUCK OUT and if you leave I will 100% end up killing everyone and –
Obi-Wan: – oh my God! OK…it’s OK, I heard my own ominous music a second ago when I was getting ready to leave and so I won’t and we’ll fix th –
Anakin: – I heard mine when I thought about maybe talking to the Chancellor instead of y–
Palpatine: [sidling up behind them smugly] Everything all right, gentlemen?
Music: [scary ass music from the opera scene]
Anakin and Obi-Wan: AHHHH
I randomly thought of this post again today and it made me laugh
For the record in that last line I always pictured them clinging to each other in fear like Shaggy and Scooby:
albaparthenicevelut
ACCURATE OH MY GOD
I would so read this.
Palpatine’s face is killing me.
icanbringyouincold
I can’t breathe oh my god this is fucking funny
Every once in a while the Star Wars fandom comes up with gold.
Just imagine the Force being a worried parent but Anakin can’t hear them properly over his trauma.
The Force: *cracks knuckles* Time to increase the volume.
Anakin: I have brought peace, freedom, justice and security to my new empire
Music: DUN DUN DUN! DA DUN DA DUN DUN!
Anakin:
Obi-wan:
Anakin: … I guess I haven’t?
Obi-wan: oH really?!
Crack AU where Anakin can all of a sudden hear the background music that we all hear. Those pleasant chats with Palpy become a lot more ominous. Though Anakin admits that the fights have become a lot more epic. Thoughts?
Hahahahaha. Love it!
And okay, my first though was “and the galaxy was saved because even Anakin Skywalker would struggle to keep trusting Palpatine with that music playing in the background”
Anakin think he’s gone COMPLETELY insane (maybe he’s finally been electrocuted too many times and its fried his brain). He doesn’t tell anyone though because he can still fight just fine just… everything is a lot more musical. He doesn’t want to be thought crazy and taken off the front lines.
Once he figures out what the various musical cues mean he actually finds them useful in figuring out how dangerous a situation is. Also battles are so much cooler now and boring landscapes are slightly less boring because at least now they have mood music. Yep, he can live with this.
(Although he is always confused why the ominousness that is The Imperial March starts playing at some of his decisions)
*cracks up*
Anakin: I’m so worried about something. I should probably keep my feelings to myself and attempt to solve my problems by working with Palpatine. He seems like he has my best interests at heart.
Music: DUN DUN DUN, DUN DA-DUN, DUN DA-DUN!
Anakin: [pauses] [looks around] Uh…OK. I mean, I’ll…go talk to Obi-Wan?
Music: [hopeful woodwind instruments]
Anakin: …and be open and honest about my life and what is bothering me, and try to work out a non-violent resolution to my problems?
Music: [Force Theme plays]
Anakin: [smiles] All right! Huh. This is helpful.
Positive reinforcement at its finest. ;D
#lol#i’m just imagining the force throwing its metaphysical hands in the air like ‘subtlety obviously isn’t working with this one so have a whole#symphony of hints young reckless one’ (via @likealeafonthewind)
I’m crying from laughter, this is beautiful.
Anakin: *fucks up*
The Force: Son, please… Guess I’m gonna enable the hints menu.
THE HINTS MENU. *dies*
Maybe Obi-Wan hears the music, too, and then the day is saved.
Obi-Wan: [walking away] Welp, guess it’s off to kill Grievous I’m sure Anakin will be fi –
Music: [Duel of the Fates]
Obi-Wan: OMG not this shit again [runs back down the hall towards Anakin]
Anakin: [running back towards Obi-Wan] Obi-Wan I just heard that Ominous Music again and also I secretly married Padme and she’s pregnant and I haven’t slept in 6 days and I keep thinking she’s going to die and I AM FREAKING THE FUCK OUT and if you leave I will 100% end up killing everyone and –
Obi-Wan: – oh my God! OK…it’s OK, I heard my own ominous music a second ago when I was getting ready to leave and so I won’t and we’ll fix th –
Anakin: – I heard mine when I thought about maybe talking to the Chancellor instead of y–
Palpatine: [sidling up behind them smugly] Everything all right, gentlemen?
Music: [scary ass music from the opera scene]
Anakin and Obi-Wan: AHHHH
I randomly thought of this post again today and it made me laugh
For the record in that last line I always pictured them clinging to each other in fear like Shaggy and Scooby:
albaparthenicevelut
ACCURATE OH MY GOD
I would so read this.
Palpatine’s face is killing me.
icanbringyouincold
I can’t breathe oh my god this is fucking funny
Every once in a while the Star Wars fandom comes up with gold.
Anakin and Obi-wan explaining how they figured out Palpatine is a Sith Lord be like:
Anakin and Obi-wan: Okay so basically he was surrounded by scary ass music
Mace Windu: The fuck you mean music
Qui-gon Jinn appearing as a force ghost in front of the council out of nowhere: Subtlety wasn’t working so I went more direct.
A bird explaining to a hedgehog crossing so it doesn’t die.
!!! ok but that’s legitimately what it’s doing!! That’s a corvid right there (looks like a hooded crow, to be precise), which means it’s intelligent enough to recognize, a) cars are dangerous and streets should be treated with a certain degree of caution, b) this car’s slowing down for them–cars do that sometimes–which means they’re not in imminent danger, so it doesn’t have to fly away just yet, c) that hedgehog’s still gonna get killed if it doesn’t MOVE, FAST (cars can change speed very quickly and the hedgehog’s still in the way), and almost certainly also d) if the bird does nothing it gets a free lunch.
Y’all, Y’ALL. This bird is consciously deciding to put itself in danger in order to save the life of a very stupid creature. A creature which, if the bird did nothing, could be free food.
i can’t - look if you follow me you know I have a thing for corvids, but this is - like!!! People are always saying “ah yes they have sub-human intelligence and don’t consider anything that isn’t immediately necessary for their own survival/pleasure,” but! Whether or not it can do philosophy, this crow is clearly demonstrating compassion. Even if it’s just the kind of compassion a toddler shows to a snail, a social creature that instinctively recognizes the potential for emotion in other beings, that’s still huge and cool and important and corvids!!! are! neat!!!
They’re incredibly smart! And kind!!!
Reblog if you think asexuality is a real thing that actually exists.
I'm trying to prove something.
Jesus Christ was a brown Jew in the Middle East, conceived out of wedlock in an arguably interracial if not interspecies (deity and human) relationship, raised by his mother and stepfather in place of his absent father. He may not have had a Y chromosome. He spent his early youth as a refugee in Egypt, where his family no doubt survived initially on handouts from the wealthy (You think they kept that gold, frankincense, and myrrh from the wise men? Hell no, they sold that stuff for food and lodging). He later returned with his parents to their occupied homeland and lived in poverty.
The religion of Jesus’s people has no concept of a permanent hell and instructed its priests on how to induce miscarriages. Jesus explicitly rejected the concept of disability as a divine punishment. He spoke out against religious hypocrites. He had enough respect for women to let his mother choose the time of his first miracle. He blessed a same sex couple. He told a rich man that he must give up his wealth to get to heaven, and also told a parable about a rich man suffering in agony in presumably Gehinnom (basically Purgatory) just to hammer the point home. He told people to pay their taxes. He declared “love your neighbor” to be one of the two commandments on which all laws hang. He commanded his followers to help the poor. He commanded them to help the sick and the needy. He spent time with social outcasts. He healed the servant of a high priest during his arrest rather than fighting back. He was put to death by the occupying government because he was a political radical.
Trump and his administration are xenophobic, misogynistic, racist, fear-mongering, warmongering, tax-dodging, anti-Semitic, anti-choice, anti-welfare, anti-equal pay, anti-LGBTQIA+, anti-immigration, support tax cuts for the rich, support Citizen’s United, want to keep refugees out of this country, want to limit our ability to speak against the government, plan to abolish the Affordable Care Act, and they wrap all of that up behind a banner of “Christian family values.” If you support them, you have no right to call yourself a follower of Christ.
buttheadhatesthetcc
it’s so rare, yet so fulfilling, to see the J-man on my dash
One of my friends is literally the most religious Christian I have ever met. What does that mean in regards to her lifestyle and outlook? She loves everyone. EVERYONE. Unconditionally. And she supports healthcare and education and birth control and everything that’s necessary to have a healthy, stable society.
Because that’s what her homeboy JC would want.
Also I love that OP acknowledged the ACTUAL Jewish teachings Jesus would have been drawing from, rather than antisemitic stereotypes and the concept that he, rather than his followers, started Christianity.
While there are things in his teaching that are inconsistent with Jewish teaching and thought (“I am the way, the truth, and the life” is the first one coming to my mind), his teaching was indisputably based in Torah and Jewish tradition; for example, the famous “the most important commandment is to love G-d, the second is to love your neighbor as yourself” can be traced DIRECTLY to Torah, in which the commandment “be kind to the stranger among you, as you were once strangers in Egypt” is repeated not once, not twice, but THIRTY-SIX times. This specific number, along with the fact that it’s repeated more than any other commandment in Torah, would in fact seem to mark it as the most important—and there’s even a midrash in which the famous rabbi Hillel agrees, stating: “that which is displeasing to you, do not do to others. The rest [of Torah] is all commentary. Now go and learn.”
So bless you, OP, for acknowledging where Jesus’ value set came from, and also the antisemitism this administration has encouraged and fostered.
*slightly spoilery*
I’ve got a soft spot for dumb fuck characters and Melli passes with flying marks.
There’s a serial killer in your town. Unfortunately for them you are a necromancer and you have fun driving that maniac insane.
@townofcan Why would leave this masterpiece in the notes
