been thinking a lot about the concept of a good person lately. is a manager who abuses his staff at a nonprofit but helps 100 people a year with their legal cases a better person than a manager in a business who gives their employees secret paid days off and makes effort to have positive relationships with the people who rank below them? idk. always thought the former was better because they're making an objective and impactful difference but now im not sure. also no longer think i care.

nobody in the fucking world is obligated to go to therapy. "not going to therapy" is never a moral failure. the only thing you're obligated to do is to treat other people with respect. the idea that therapy is the only path to being a person who's safe to be around is so fucking warped and rotten i can't believe how deeply ingrained it is in our society that even well-meaning people parrot it without thinking

If after 15 years and lots of therapy you ask your mother to acknowledge the way she failed to protect you, and she still responds by turning the volume on the television up, and only then do you begin tugging your roots free of her, are you holding a grudge, or is the grudge holding you, like your mother should have?

Rachel Wiley, from "The Mother Riddle," Revenge Body