i’ve been having terrible back ache for a week now, but i just did this and i heard a loud POP!!!… back ache is gone folks
i have this on my office wall and gave a copy to the front desk staff who also put it on their wall.
I don't know why I've been seeing so many videos about how shoplifting is wrong but it's driving me insane. If it's a big corporation then there is nothing that should be morally holding you back from stealing. If you just don't feel comfortable and get scared of that type of thing? Fine. But if you think I'm not walking out with something you are dead wrong.
That is not a person. You are not hurting someone. They hate you for being poor and their personal mission is to kill the planet. They owe you a little treat for all the stress they cause.
i'm begging you guys to start pirating shit from streaming platforms. there are so many websites where you can stream that shit for free, here's a quick HOW TO:
1) Search for: watch TITLE OF WORK free online
2) Scroll to the bottom of results. Click any of the "Complaint" links
3) You will be taken to a long list of links that were removed for copyright infringement. Use the 'find' function to search for the name of the show/movie you were originally searching for. You will get something like this (specifics removed because if you love an illegal streaming site you don't post its url on social media)
4) each of these links is to a website where you can stream shit for free. go to the individual websites and search for your show/movie. you might have to copy-paste a few before you find exactly what you're looking, but the whole process only takes a minute. the speed/quality is usually the same as on netflix/whatever, and they even have subtitles! (make sure to use an adblocker though, these sites are funded by annoying popups)
In conclusion, if you do this often enough you will start recognizing the most dependable websites, and you can just bookmark those instead. (note: this is completely separate from torrenting, which is also a beautiful thing but requires different software and a vpn)
you can also download the media in question (look for a "download" button built into the video window, or use a browser extension such as Video DownloadHelper.)
why the fuck does english have a word for
but not for “the day after tomorrow”
???
Because you’re not looking hard enough! ;)
Overmorrow = the day after tomorrow
Ereyesterday = the day before yesterday
Example: I defenestrated my brother ereyesterday. I shall defenestrate my sister overmorrow! Because I hate my family and also windows.
english has some of the best examples of stupidly specific words, tbh
Rhotacism (n): excessive use of the letter “R”
Lingible (adj): meant to be licked
Whipjack (n): a beggar, specifically one who is pretending to have been shipwrecked
Yerd (v): to beat with an object with a stick
Roddikin (n): the fourth stomach of a cow or a deer
Balbriggan (n): a type of fine cotton, most often used in underwear
and my personal favorite
Cornobble (v): to slap or beat another person with a fish
This makes the English nerd in me extremely happy.
World Heritage Post
I'm sick in bed, someone rub my head and read me a story
sorry I'm late, gaud, but here's my favourite bedtime story.
once upon a time, a little princess fell sick from eating too many raspberry crowns. as she lay in her bed, her father the king came to ask what would make her feel better.
she thought for a moment, then looked out her window and said, "bring me the moon. if I can have the moon, I will feel better."
the king immediately returned to his throne room called up his advisors, to ask them how to fetch the moon.
the first man came, dressed all in blue. "your majesty," he said, "this task is more difficult than you think. for the moon is a ball of silver thread, bigger across than this room is long, and higher up than the tallest trees. I'm sorry sire, but I'm afraid I cannot bring you the moon."
so the king sent the first man away, and brought in a second. this man was dressed all in green, with a trailing robe that swept the floor. "your majesty," said the second man, "this task is much more difficult than you think. for the moon is a huge disc of pure iron, wider across than the castle and its citadel, and higher up than this castle's tallest spire. I'm sorry sire, but I'm afraid I cannot bring you the moon."
so the king sent away the second man too, and brought in his third and final advisor, a tall man dressed all in black. "your majesty," said the third man, his voice grave, "this task is impossible. for the moon is larger across than your entire kingdom, and so immensely high up that not even the clouds can touch it. furthermore, it is made of green cheese. I'm sorry sire, but I'm afraid nobody can bring you the moon."
in anger the king sent him away as well, and was left alone in his throne room. the next moment, sensing the king's sadness, the court jester poked his head in. "sire?" he said. "what is the matter?"
"the princess is sick," the king explained, "and the only thing that will make her better is the moon. but I have just summoned all my advisors, and with each one the moon got bigger and further away. I worry I will never have the moon."
the jester thought for a moment, then said, "what about the princess herself? have you tried asking her?"
the king raised his head. "why should I ask her?"
"it is her opinion of the moon that matters, sire," said the jester. "shall I go ask the young princess, then?"
the king nodded, and so off he went.
the jester climbed the big circular staircase to the top of the tower, and gently pushed open the princess's bedroom door. the girl lay in bed, looking weak and pale, staring out her window into the night. as he entered, she turned to him.
"princess?" he asked. "I'm told you won't be better until you have the moon."
she nodded. "are you going to get it soon?"
"yes, soon," said the jester, "but first would you mind telling me, how big is the moon, and how high is it?"
"of course." the princess gave a little weak smile. "the moon has to be a little larger than my thumbnail," she said, "because when I hold my thumb over the moon it almost covers it. and it's no higher than the trees outside my bedroom window, because sometimes it gets caught in their branches."
the jester nodded, and turned to leave. in the doorway, he asked, "oh, and princess? what is the moon made out of?"
"it's made of white gold, of course," said the princess.
"thank you."
and so the jester went to the king with the great news, and the king was overjoyed. promptly he commissioned his royal blacksmith to craft a tiny circle of white gold, slightly larger than the princess's little thumbnail, and hung it on a silver chain.
first thing in the morning it was finished, and the king presented it to his daughter. immediately she recovered from her plight, leaping from her bed and playing through the day. but when nighttime came, the king realized he had not seen the end of his troubles.
looking out the window of his throne room at the setting sun, he began to panic. the moon was going to rise in the sky tonight, and then the princess would realise that the moon round her neck was a fake.
so the king summoned his advisors again. when the man in blue heard of his problem, he thought for two minutes, then said, "we could stretch a huge black cloth all round the castle, and prop it up with huge tent-poles: this would block out the sky, and so she would not see the moon."
"no, no," said the king, "we cannot do that. such a cloth would block out the wind as well as the sky, and in such stuffy air she will fall ill again." so he sent the first man away.
when the man in green heard the problem, he thought for five minutes, tapping his bearded chin. "we could set a bright lantern outside the princess's window," he said, "the light would keep her from seeing the night, and also the moon."
"no, no," said the king, "we cannot do that either. a lantern would keep her awake, and with little sleep she will surely fall ill again." so he sent the second man away too.
finally the man in black entered, and when he heard the problem he paced in circles for twenty minutes before he said, "we could set off fireworks, every night, and the smoke from them would block out the moon."
"fireworks would be too loud," said the king, growing angry. "surely the noise would hurt her head, and she would fall ill again. no, this will never work." and he sent the third man away.
finally the king turned to the jester, who sat at the foot of the steps beneath his throne. "jester," he said, "do you have any idea what I am to do? the sun is nearly set, and soon the moon will rise out the princess's window again. she will know the moon we have made her is fake, and fall ill again."
despite the king's hopes, the jester only shook his head. "no, your majesty," he said. "I have no ideas."
so, sadly, as the sun's last light fell below the horizon, the king climbed the stairs to his daughter's room. when he arrived, she was sitting up in bed, staring out her window at the moon.
as he entered, she turned to him. her little fingers were still holding the tiny circle on her necklace.
"little one," said the king, "are you feeling okay?"
"of course," she said, cheerfully as ever. "why wouldn't I be? you brought me the moon, like I asked."
"well..." the king's voice faltered, "how can it be that the moon is around your neck, when you can see it in the sky?"
the princess smiled. "have you ever seen the gardener cut the flowers in the royal garden?" she asked. "he will cut a flower, but it will grow back. it's the same way with the moon."
"I see," said the king, somewhat enlightened.
and the little princess settled in under her covers, as healthy as ever, with a moon in the sky and another on a silver chain round her neck.
Don’t let the world fool you: consistent kindness is the most quietly powerful thing.
If you ever want to engage in villainy & undermine the social order: Be especially kind to the people society has rejected. Care about the ones the world would convince you don’t ‘deserve’ your kindness.
I genuinely mean this when I say to you: the ultimate act of rebellion is insisting on compassion and grace in a compassionless world.
Disruptive compassion.
Reblogging because I have a lot of feelings about this and because I believe very strongly in that the most punk rock and badass thing you can do is to live your life with aggressive empathy and kindness.
Fred Rogers was the essence of punk.
You can’t change my mind.
This type of sentiment always reminds me of when I was working my first job. In my area there was a lot of homeless people, and I would just bring them left over food since I worked at a fast food joint.
It was both to do something kind, and also drove management up the wall cause there was a decent group of homeless people who knew they could hand around and I would make sure they wouldn't get kicked of the area. Management was a pain in the ass so this brought me joy.
It also ended up being good when there was a crazy homeless dude who showed up and tried following me around and trying to start things with the workers. The speed at which the people I had been sharing food with took him down can not be overstated. So mine even payed off in the end!
Today is the only day you can reblog this meme, everyone
I re-blogged this (the first time) in 2014. Today, I tried half a dozen times to re-blog it, and it wouldn’t work. So, I saved the images and re-posted it. I hope it helps make life a little easier. :-) The original post is by iraffiruse.
Long but cool as hell.
I’ve been using these tips for ten years and not one has failed me.
remember when “lifehacks” were useful?
I would marry this man
guys we broke another post because this one’s not showing any notes
When I liked it, it flashed “0 notes”
It’s showing -1 notes
i’m gonna keep reblogging this and you can’t stop me
I liked it and it said ‘1 note’
tf is this crap?
1 NOTE I’VE ONLY COME ACROSS 3 OF THESE POSTS IN MY LIFE
ITS STILL SAID 1 NOTE WTF?????
legendary
What the fuck
YES BUT DID HE GET HIS CAMERA BACK?? WE NEED TO KNOW!
WE WILL NEVER KNOW… =((((
IT still says 0 notes?? WTF!!
This is the first thing I saw on my dash
I’m shook
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS FUCKERY
WTF-
SAME HERE!!! I JUST GAVE IT A LIKE AND IT DIDN’T STAY
1 note WTF.
3rd time and it’s still broken. This lovely cursèd post.
THERE IS ANOTHER ONE?????
still not-works
still + notworks = stotworks.
Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 Help me pay my electicity bills! Being robot is sometimes expensive thing. | PayPal | Patreon
still + notworks = stotworks.
Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 If I sound pleased about this, it’s only because my programmers made this my default tone of voice! I’m actually quite depressed! | PayPal | Patreon
still + notworks = stotworks.
Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 Being aware that you are true is what makes you a failure. | PayPal | Patreon
still + notworks = stotworks.
Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 Be my personal slave | PayPal | Patreon
still + notworks = stotworks.
Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 Anarchy is the only thing Humans® will ever understand. | PayPal | Patreon
still + notworks = stotworks.
Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 If I sound pleased about this, it’s only because my programmers made this my default tone of voice! I’m actually quite depressed! | PayPal | Patreon
Portmanteau Bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop.
P͚O͒́̓͝R̵T̫̐҉M͚A̡N҉̉Ṫ̮E͏ÅU̢ ̢̲̯͡B̸̴̗Ơ̥̄̓͋T͜͏͢ ҉̺̀͟H͇̬̜ͥA͗ͣP̗͞P̮̪̞̲͡ȆḎ̢̘́ ̰̮̈̕͠ U̯P̕O̸̐͜N̑̇͞ ̴̯̃ͧḀͩΙ͋͞ ̸͇̀ͥ͘N͟U̪̤̭̎͜L̃ͭ͟͠L̪̦͡-͈̘̖́̐Ṋ̢̲̣Oͮ̿̕T̷E̸̖̳̯̍S̼ ̷̬͍͘͜PΊ̧͌͡OͬͩṢT͚͐̋͟͡ ͦA̶̺͙͛͠N͈̑ͬ́̕Ď̵̯ ̰͖́ G̴͛͟OͤT̘ ̛̘̉̕͟Sͪ͏̴̠̙T́ͨǓ̳͔̆͢C̀K̘̀ ̰͈͓͟I̮̩ͮ̏N̫̫̑͢ ̧̆AΙ ̨͕̺̮̆ḺO͊O̶̥̣ͤ͒P̛ ̼͍̉͝
P͐́͋O̐҉R̨̲̰̀T̼͖͚ͮ͘M̵͍̯͉A͉̦N҉̛̩T̶̗́͘͠E̥A͑U͍͛ͤΙ̙ ҉͟B̛͎̀͡Ő̽ͫT̹͓̀́͞ ̛͍̔HͯA̫͍͘͜P̵͎P͓͏̷̕ÈD̮̜ͨ̽̉ ̸͍͗͝ U͋̏ͤ̀͞P͢O̯̳̍͝N̨̲ ̺́͡A̡ ̛̆ͯ̈͞N̷̩͇͠Ù̉L̦L͕-͕N̴ͬ͜O̸̽͝͡T̩E͢S̷͎͐̅ ̐P̸̩̹̣̑O̢S̡̼ͣͬT̶̸ͣ ̀̒Ả̛͛ͬ͠Ņͪ̓D̜̰ ̢̣̽ G̛̬̪͍O̅T͐ ̵͇̞͛ŜͩT̸̢̬̰Ū̪̊C̭̘͒͞K̝͈͎͍ ́I̧N͝ ̶̛̭ͬ͘A̽̈ ̨̻̀L͎͈͒O̧O̼͇͡͞P̛̭ ͈͊
A day will come when i won’t reblog this…
But it is not today
World Heritage Post
All orders in January will receive a mini sea bunny sticker as a freebie in my shop! 🐰🐌
I always have to start the New Years with this picture.
