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@sidneyia / sidneyia.tumblr.com

30s - ftm - gay- well spouse
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sidneyia

here is the issue i have with a big-tent, anybody-can-join trans “umbrella”:

i have no way to explain to someone who lives and presents entirely as their assigned sex, but identifies as nonbinary, that my being misgendered endangers my physical safety in a way that it doesn’t for them. that being misgendered doesn’t just ruin my day because it’s disrespectful and embarassing, but also because it reminds me of how vulnerable i am to actual physical violence. and being thus reminded 5+ times a day eats away at your mental health.

because anything i try to bring up, this person can (and did) counter with “well i’m trans too, i get misgendered too, i know how much it sucks, but you’re still just gonna have to deal with it.” 

also, they have no difficulty in being seen as gay! they can enter gay spaces and lean on the gay community and find support and friendship there. i look and sound straight. i’m always going to be met with suspicion. most gay men (that i’ve met) are trans inclusive and wouldn’t run me off after they learn that i identify as a man, but that initial suspicion is always going to be there and as socially r*tarded as i am, i can still pick up on it. 

i’m not going to tell this nonbinary person that they’re actually cis or anything like that, because that’s shitty, but i wish it were permissable to acknowledge how incredibly different our experiences are. 

#(based on a true story)#(not a hypothetical situation)#(don't reblog just in case)#my meds have more or less stopped working#soooo
sidneyia
cryoverkiltmilk
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kaity--did

Do you know how hard it is to live with a cat that has the intelligence level of literally like a 3 year old but the pure chaos of a high ranking demon?

He’s learned to open the lazy Susan and won’t stop clawing open the flour and rolling in it like a little chinchilla

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kaity--did

Criminal charges

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kaity--did

Hey hey hey HEY

He’s been CRAWLING INTO THE BOTTOM CABINETS to TEAR OPEN THE INSTANT POTATOES and EAT BAGS AND BAGS OF THEM I’m livid but also impressed.

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pigcatapult

Do you have anything with that kind of texture that he can safely play with? This sounds like an understimulation issue.

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kaity--did

He’s not playing with it

He’s eating it.

I can tell because the bags are nearly empty except for a few small clumps.

I knew he loves mashed potatoes. I just didn’t know the extent he’d go to to get them.

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kaity--did

We had him tested and in the course of that vet visit he stole

6 tips

3 of the ear light cover things

Our other cats collar

the ear bud of the vets stethoscope 

several hearts

a plastic glove

the vet techs hair tie

Also yeah he’s fine he just likes to steal

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synebluetoo

Not guilty by reason of deficiency of other people’s stuff

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kaity--did

This is his ledge

His ledge is taller then my husband who is 6’2”

I am 5’5”

I have to get the step ladder out once a week and see what Orange Sherbert has taken to his ledge for safe keeping. It’s usually the remote.

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cryoverkiltmilk

Narratively speaking, ending this saga with the reveal that his name is Orange Sherbert was a masterstroke.

#cat
sidneyia
uwumars
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intersexfairy

why is it so impossible for mlm/nblm to have a flag or something to call ourselves aside from like "gay man" or mlm/nblm. there's always a problem with whatever gets popular and identifiable, and I'm honestly juat craving that kind of language, but every attempt seems to fail. but i don't feel comfortable using any of it for a whole variety of reasons.

i could try looking at existing community terminology to satisfy some gay expression, but quite frankly idk where to turn. twink/bear/etc. terminology isn't really my thing. i've got femme down but i don't know enough about language to know the different idk more specific identities i can make out of it, that apply to me. i know there's more out there but, i dont know it lol

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uwumars

Vincian, Turian, Veldian, Floric, Lavenian and lavender boy are alternatives

none of these are widely used at the moment, though

#reference#gay#tbh i like 'uranian' better than any of these
sidneyia

if you are cis and you want to ‘splain to me about how the only way for trans people to get rights is to commit acts of interpersonal violence, please consider: don’t.

sidneyia
sidneyia
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sidneyia

i’m going to show this picture to anyone who still thinks rats are gross

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sidneyia

see, because if you ask someone what makes rats gross, they always say either the tail or the hands. but as you can clearly see, this gentleman has neither of those things. he is pure blob.

#rat#pet rat#lap rat
sidneyia
ifyouknowmeirlgoaway
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genderkoolaid
"While feminist communities, including Janice Raymond, focused largely on transwomen in the late 1970s, the emergence of a more visible transmasculine community in the early 1990s forced feminist and lesbian-feminists to grapple with the boundaries of community and with shifting understandings of gender identity in relation to sexed bodies. Some feminists rejected transwomen on the basis of their male-sexed bodies, dismissing their feminine gender identity altogether. Transmasculine individuals were rejected for their masculine gender identity – an identity that feminists understood as the transmen’s rejection of their own female-sexed bodies and feminine identification. In other words, transwomen were rejected because of their sexed bodies and transmen were rejected based on their gender presentation, an inconsistency few feminists recognized. As Califia argued in Sex Changes, someone with “female chromosomes who lives as a man strikes at the heart of the notion that all women are sisters, potential feminists, natural allies against the… villainy [of men].” This misconception about transmen, however invalid, is used to justify feminist vilification of transmen, portraying them as traitors who buy into the temptation of masculine privilege and nothing more. This reduction of transmasculine desire not only erases the complexity of these desires, but it also perpetuates the assumption that to “pass” as men involves “forgetting one’s past or at least denying aspects of it that do not fit neatly with one’s gender of choice."

— Transmasculinity and Feminism: The Analytic Categories of Gender Identity and Expression by Liam Lair

#well shit#i never connected with patrick califia#but maybe i should give him another read
sidneyia
shiftythrifting
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shiftythrifting

This Hawaiian shirt with random fake fur badly sewn on and two taxidermied ferret(?) feet attached. I bought it.

I'll probably remove the, uh, decor to just have the shirt but I will keep the feet. no idea what to do with them tho

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sidneyia

these are sable or marten feet from an old fur piece. it makes me sad when people take those apart.

sidneyia
ifyouknowmeirlgoaway
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cannabiscomrade

So Arizona launched an “education hotline” that allows “concerned parents” to report “””critical race theory””” and other things like ~gender identity~ being taught in the classroom

It would be a shame if the number and email were spread to bad actors looking to prank call the AZ Department of Education

602-771-3500 or empower @ azed .gov 🤡

‘Empower’ hotline by Arizona Dept. of Education dealing with prank calls in first week
Horne said two staff members are sorting through the calls, and two investigators are working on credible leads.
azfamily.com
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yeah-yeah-beebiss-1

and for the love of god, don’t just spam it with memes or le funny shrek jokes or whatever, they’ll just hang up

make plausible-sounding reports for things that don’t actually exist, so that they actually have to waste time/resources investigating false leads - the goal is to waste time they would otherwise be using to do their jobs, not to get tumblr clout for being an epic troll

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neko-setsuka

So apparently the internet article said the superintendent wouldn't be deterred by the prank calls because they would 'taper off eventually'. It'd be a real shame if this post stayed in circulation via queues so they get a consistent list of prank calls to filter through. 😇

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sidneyia

you should check out scambaiting youtube for some ideas on how to keep people on the line as long as possible. it’s a delicate balance. 

sidneyia
possiblyscrewed
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mad-dyspunktional

Can we talk about how a seriously concerning number of people are drawn to social justice not out of the goodness of their hearts but because there are prevalent circles within the social justice community that actively reward and encourage behavior that is nearly indiscernible from bullying and harassment with reassurance that it's the 'right and just' kind?

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communalblackout

these tags r too accurate to not include

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hebicakes

Hope you don't mind that I included your tags, I've seen this exact thing. I've even been on the receiving end of this stuff just for refusing to go along with callout post culture.

#it's not about 'justice' it's about acceptable targets#which is why we have these convoluted hierarchies of who's Oppressed Enough to speak#obviously nobody wants to be the acceptable target so everybody plays hot potato with it
sidneyia
ifyouknowmeirlgoaway
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theorderofthetriad

shame that a lot of tumblr didn't learn their lesson about treating moderate progress as worse than regression from the russian op scandal.

if someone is writing about politics in a way that makes you angry about progress in the right direction because it didn't go far enough? do not fucking trust that person.

why do they want you angry about progress? why aren't they sharing ways to help us progress further, but instead just bemoaning how far we haven't gotten? do not fucking trust people who want you emotionally raw and helping no one.

sidneyia

unpopular opinion but nothing makes me feel dysphoric and also just generally hopeless as hearing people talk about “gender euphoria”. like every now and then i’ll catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror or something and think “huh, maybe i do look passably masculine” and then i’ll read someone talking about euphoria and it’s like, oh, i’m supposed to be euphoric about this? 

if i manage to not get misgendered over the course of a day, i consider that the removal of a stressor, not the addition of a source of delirious happiness. it’s like the feeling you get after doing a minor chore that you’ve been procrastinating: there, that’s one less thing pissing me off. not, i feel like i took five rolls of ecstasy because i washed the car windshield. 

#also like#gendering people correctly is considered the bare minimum right?#it's kind of insulting to expect us to get euphoric over people doing the bare minimum for us!