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22/Contains +18 & dark content/ autistic/just reblogs stuff I like
everythingbutlarry-deactivated2

AU: President Obama falls for part white house intern part rockstar Harry Styles. Obama surprises Harry in the audience of one of his shows and the affair blossoms from there.

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tsarcasm

Please get this off my dashboard right now immediately

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besturlonhere

this is the best post on this website

Heya folks n friends! Today on our LotR cooking series, we're going to be making something inspired by Mrs. Maggot, wife of Farmer Maggot. Originally we were going to do a cream of mushroom soup, but the idea of adding meat as a cheeky lil joke on their last names was too good to pass up. In my mind meat goes better with thin soups than creamy ones.

And thus Mrs. Maggots Meat 'N Mush Stew was born.

(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes in to Mrs. Maggots Meat 'N Mush Stew?” YOU MIGHT ASKFor the stew portion itself we're going to be using a hearty base, aiming for a layering of flavors. If you feel comfortable making a roux, feel free to do so, but I did not due to energy levels and thus the flour in this recipe is only used for searing the meat before its added to the pot.

  • Cubed beef
  • Flour
  • Peanut oil
  • Beef stock
  • Dried porcini mushrooms
  • Carrots, chopped
  • Onion, diced
  • Garlic, crushed
  • Scallion, chopped
  • Bay leaf
  • Salt and pepper
  • Ground red pepper
  • Cumin
  • Zatarins gumbo file

For the other mushrooms, were going to cook them separate and throw them in at the end (but they'll have friends to keep them company!!).

  • Cremini mushrooms, sliced
  • Half an onion
  • Carrots
  • Garlic
  • Salt and pepper
  • Thyme
  • Olive oil

This took about 4 hours in total. If you have a slow cooker itd probably be easier to use that, but as is isn't too bad either. I mostly worked on commission stuff in the kitchen in-between stirring. "The best food is the one you don't have to make, the second best food is the one you don't have to think while making."

AND, “what does Mrs. Maggots Meat 'N Mush Stew taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASK

  • HOT HOT HOT
  • Tastes like walking from the cold into the cramped but cozy bar your friend works at
  • Meat was so tender and juicy, melts in your mouth. Makes you cry
  • It wanst actually carmelization but the onions had a hint of tasting caramelized
  • Mushrooms- a strong umami flavor with a bit of smokeyness
  • Once you get that Perfect level of gumbo file, it just makes every other element stick out more
  • Like an energy booster for the ingredients
  • A spotlight on the bay leaf, and oils, and spices

. If you don't want to use beef, feel free to use vegetable stock instead and replace the cubes with strips of king oyster mushrooms. Exclude the flour but still cook them in the pan. . this isnt officially part of the recipe since im not sure itd be 'on theme', but feel free to start your rice cooker around the 3 hour mark so you can have some hot rice ready for serving as filler.

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When I was looking through food and food mentions in LotR, Mrs.Maggot just stook out to me. 'Queen amongst farmers wives' is both really sweet and a fuckin killer description. What a legend. I wanted to do something based on her and our two options were either beer, bacon or raw mushrooms. Beer while very appealing is also not something you can whip up in a day, while raw mushrooms have a chance of killing my beloved readers. I don't want to talk about me and bacons sordid past.

And so as praise to this funky farmer women, may you add this stew to your collection of potpie, lasagna, and roast recipes.

Did i mention i started my first grease fire when making this? Yeah. Don't cover any empty greased pan even if your intent is to keep water from splashing into it.

Anyway, this recipe is a solid 10/10 (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) The partner has already made me pledge to cook it again hehehe

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Your reaction to chatGPT instantly lets me know how easy it would be to trick you into thinking that you are haunted

"omg it's literally alive!" Two beers, 45 minutes, deck of tarot cards, and I'm charging you 350$ for an exorcism.

"I read an article that it's showing simple self-awareness" two days, mild preparation, hot and cold reading, I can get 60$ for joints laced with sacred sage

"I just spoke to an AI and I'm... rattled to say the least, come with me on this dark journey" twenty minutes. I've got to science it up for you, but I can get you to come back every week to "disentangle the psychological imprint" for 125$

Your reaction to chatGPT instantly lets me know how easy it would be to trick you into thinking that you are haunted

"omg it's literally alive!" Two beers, 45 minutes, deck of tarot cards, and I'm charging you 350$ for an exorcism.

"I read an article that it's showing simple self-awareness" two days, mild preparation, hot and cold reading, I can get 60$ for joints laced with sacred sage

"I just spoke to an AI and I'm... rattled to say the least, come with me on this dark journey" twenty minutes. I've got to science it up for you, but I can get you to come back every week to "disentangle the psychological imprint" for 125$

I love it when I tell doctors that I'm a LARPer and an endurance hiker and one of the most frustrating things about chronic pain is how hard it is to go to the park and do my favorite physical activites, and they'll look at me like a dog that's just been shown a card trick and ask, "Have you tried exercising?"

Brother, you don't even know how bad I wish we could try exercising rn

Chronic illness patients: so I really like to do [physical activity] but it's gotten like, physically hard to do lately

Genius doctors: have you tried increasing your physical activity?

"I'm so fucking good at health."

I once had to patiently tell a doctor "I don't really think it's ethical to ask me to exercise my way out of a pain spike?" and she looked like it was the first time she'd ever really thought about it.

This sounds like a shitpost but people should be allowed to be horny. As in, sexuality is just part of life for most people and there’s no reason for consensual sexual behavior to be punished. A celebrity getting “caught” at a sex club shouldn’t be a scandal. No one should be fired for having a fetlife profile outside of work. Nudes getting leaked shouldn’t be career-ending. Denying and hiding (consensual) sexual interests doesn’t make anyone more professional, it just makes everyone more repressed. And sterilizing ourselves to be better work drones isn’t productive, it’s just creepy. I’d rather my surgeon get absolutely railed on camera and come to work in a good mood, frankly.

as the world gets scarier and more uncertain, we have to make sure not to lose sight of what matters most: castrophizing as much as possible and tearing eachother apart over small stupid details

the council has conferred and it has been decided that the most painful ages to happen to a person are 12, 17, 19, and 23

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op i am holding your grandpa to this