I’M DYING
me irl: speaks in a fairly monotone voice, doesnt smile a lot, literally gets told i seem dead inside
me online: uses double exclamations points!! says things like omg and aah and oooooooooooooh a lot. screams at cute pictures of cats
Phil Lester ladies and gentlemen, asking the real questions
tillytroyeboy-deactivated201406
philipllester
this is the best thing the phandom has made bless
signs as things suburban housewives love
aries: red wine
taurus: facebook
gemini: The Real Housewives of Orange County
cancer: when their husbands barbecue
leo: trader joes
virgo: listening to the 50 shades of gray audio book while waiting to pick their kids up from school
libra: ski trips even tho 9 outta 10 times they cant ski
scorpio: forcing their kids to hug
sagittarius: laughing and doing nothing when their kids are problematic
capricorn: "swear jars"
aquarius: trips to hawaii every year
pisces: movie night
nicenewt-deactivated20150106
doctors: why are all your bones broken me: totally gnarly kick flip doctors: fucking savage bro
“your son died?! oh my god! i’m so sorry. h.. how, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“he couldnt exhibit enough self control to not submerge his fucking head in a river of chocolate”
The word “bed” actually looks like a tiny bed.
I smoke at 1:05, not 4:20 because I can reduce fucking fractions.
mothras-gay-dad
a godless heathen potato
thatlaurenalex
Found the title of my autobiography
*gay intensifies*
wayward-sons-and-fallen-angels
are you saying there are people so gay they’re unable to be seen by humans
deafreaperventus
asexuals, pansexuals, bisexuals, and aromantics
