wow sir… this resume.. is amazing. i didn’t even know you could get a pHD for being a babe magnet… hired.

more baby animals here

ok but consider this

1. stop startin shit w ppl on tumblr for no reason 2. wash your ass 3. get a plant 4. listen to smooth jazz 5. chill 6. keep chillin 7. dont ever stop chillin

therapist: how are you? me: fine how are you

plot twist: someone will kiss me at new years

plot twist: someone will kiss me under the mistletoe 

plot twist: someone will kiss me

plot twist: 

what

what kind of plane need 21 pilots

trying to get money from your parents after getting into a fight with them: