Oh how blissful it must be to be un-alive. How peaceful it must be to be free of fear and anxiety. What a joyful prospect.
Anonymous asked:
How long does it take for heartbreak to heal?
When I find out I’ll let you know.
Anonymous asked:
I think my girl is cheating on me. What do I do?
Confirm if she is. If she is, dump her
I just want to crawl in bed with someone I care about and have my heart feel at home again and watch movies and talk about random stuff for hours
Jan: one of the most traumatic months of my entire life. My ex gaslit me the entire month and when I was inches away from a breakdown, he finally confirmed that I wasn’t crazy. He was in fact cheating on me. My relationship ended as January ended. I also started a new internship and ended my second semester of Grad school (somehow with a distinction); all whilst coming apart at the seams.
Feb: I saw no one; I had two psychologists; I was on suicide watch.
March: I got prescribed anti-depressants. I was in the deepest depths of heartbreak and depression.
April: I quit my internship early and postponed my dissertation deadline because I needed to heal my brain. I felt like my depressive episode would never end.
May: the clouds started clearing. I started seeing people again.
June: I made an active effort to enjoy my summer. Even though my heart was still hurting and my brain was slowly healing.
July: I landed my current amazing job.
August: I started my current amazing job, I saw my favorite Nigerian artist in concert (Odogwu).
September: I went to Gibraltar with one of my best friends and settled into my new role.
October: despite my INSANE anxiety, I applied for my new residence permit just on time and got approved for it less than 2 weeks later. I also finished Grad school with a DISTINCTION!
November: I signed the contract for my new apartment, went on a girls trip, and honestly felt whole for the first time all year.
December: I had a quiet birthday celebration, moved into my new apartment, and excelled at work.
What a ride! If you told me on Jan 1st, that it would turn out like this I probably wouldn’t have believed you. But I’m happy right now.
2022, give me ease, Health and comfort.
Jan: I fell down the stairs and hurt my back. 2 weeks later, I moved to London.
Feb: I met 2 of my close friends who formed my London tribe and I won a social enterprise pitching competition.
March: I got COVID and thought I was going to die alone. I didn’t.
April: I quarantined alone. The whole month.
May: I finished my first semester of Grad. school with a distinction. I continued to quarantine alone.
June: I got a great internship in the middle of the pandemic and finally got to reunite with friends after being alone for months.
July: My boyfriend finally came back to London after his country’s borders opened for the first time since March.
August: All I did was eat, laugh and fuck.
September: I made a documentary about period poverty and food insecurity.
October: Celebrated my 6month anniversary.
November: Had a lovely Friendsgiving with loving friends.
December: Celebrated my birthday, celebrated Christmas, got a new internship with a bigger role that starts in January.
I started 2020 suicidal AF, and I worked hard to end on a happy note. I cried, I attended sessions, opened up more to my loved ones and trusted that I was still alive for a reason.
2021 please be kind to me, I’m fragile.
Stay tuned for 2021’s
Anonymous asked:
You’re so beautiful! I would date you if I could. Stay fly
Aww thank you xx
Anonymous asked:
What are you looking forward to the most in 2022?
More money, more travel, more comfort, deeper love
What if I don’t know how to be happy? What if I can only feel joy and happiness after relief from anxiety and suffering? Been thinking about that all day today. Because for the first time in my life, I have nothing to be anxious about. All the good things have come. But I’ve never lived this way before. What if anxiety was the thing that gave my life color? What if the stress gave me a sense of purpose? Where do I go from here? Who am I if I’m not working towards something big? What if pain is a prerequisite for my joy?