Giant Animal in The Muppet Movie
— At Last the New Arriving by Gabrielle Calvocoressi
[text ID: Dance until your bones clatter. What a prize / you are. What a lucky sack of stars.]
At first, I’m just chasing for the next trip for the next high to feel like I am living in the moment. Now I’m chasing for that next drink, every other hang out involve chasing for something that just temporary numbs me and make me feel good for alittle bit but a lot. I had two job to chose and one pay more. Listening to my parents, taking the one that pays less. I’m so upset about myself. I did that for a year. And I 100 percent regret it. I’m doing something for me. An inch of value that I put in myself. My dad, I used to call him everyday but now every time I talk to him, I felt the disappointment of him. So I stop calling him. I quitted a corporate job to get three job to be able to pay bills. I don’t know myself. Anymore. I don’t have fuck you money. The silent in the room that you feel that you the whole room remunerate that you fucked up. And the anxiety of anything I do, I just in flight mode. 26/crisis / wtf am I doing w my life/ we are just figuring it out
Things I can’t really say anything. But thinking out loud. I yep with my friend and we haven’t talked about it and two bottoms do not work ever. I keep beating myself over it but whatever. Anyways , we went to blondies, to drink deep funk something, tasted like blue otter pops. So yummy! Afterward, we chilled at Casanova. Friends got pizza, and I got a hot dog. It was heaven. Then we went to JOLENE, lez+gay bar . Dancing and just networking! After pick up something for friends to help them stay up longer(yerbamate) . And then bed, drunk me likes to sleep basically naked.
3/13/2022
I drove by stop signs and didn’t fully paused and a car was riding on my bumper. I was so confused bc they flashed their light using their Beamer. I pulled over so they can passed me. But turns out it was a cop. I kept apologizing and the cop eventually let me go. I was so scared n i smoked alittle bit before so dui . Already had a ticket, gotta go to court for that, this month. I’m so broke to pay any tickets right now. And I took a couple of hits before I drove.
This was all in my head and wanted to release so it would be less heavy on my shoulders and my heart. I shouldn’t feel ashamed. Just getting by. Listening to music in my car on parked Bc gas price 6$ something bruh. Whatever. I’m over this.
the best is when both people got heart broken when they used to date each other and they meet up and utilize each-other. They know what they like and don’t like. It felt easy and never be able to questions. It felt comfy and like old times again. Us felt simple. When you want something, go get it. Be confident.
Can’t talk right now I’m doing hot girl shit
*starts vibrator*
Romantic af
You wanted to cuddle with me. You read piss by chuck palahniuk and play some guitar and play some music and played your guitar. We cuddle and consenting asking to kiss. That’s sweet af. Thanks for dinner. Thanks for sharing and walking together with me in the lively mission. Have fun grafting two films in a week. See you soon!
Thanks for creating a safe space to spend time with!
No, you do not deserve that. You don't deserve to lie awake at night thinking why weren't you enough. You don't deserve to think why you were always the second best or an option. You don't deserve to fall apart like that, no. Your heart is too precious to think about the ways you can harm yourself. Please don't do that to yourself. You were young and naive you don't deserve to have such questions in your head.
I recent tasted crown royal apple and cream soda. One sip and all these memories came by and you pop up. To watching Halloween movies to cutting pumpkins. To waking up to frank ocean while you get up to ready to leave for work. As the warm bed became cold bed. And still, I think of you.
I did the a scary thing. I asked if the feeling we have is mutual and she gave me not an answer I wanted to hear. I feel hella vulnerable. On the bright side, at least i know now and I need to move on and not drag on it. But maybe she felt the same way and when i did that to her. So. Whatever. Moving on. And the cutting is back so I really to stop drinking when I’m feeling not okay. My dark place should not be here. It should leave and don’t come back, collect that bag and run with the winds