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I Hope Your Apple Pie Is Freaking Worth It!

@shotgun-shuts-his-cakehole / shotgun-shuts-his-cakehole.tumblr.com

Hello! This my secondary blog made solely for the purpose of re-blogging recipes but on occasion there might be some meant for my main blog, sorry about that.
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every time i see those posts like ‘what food from a show did YOU always wanna try’ i go lol none? but i just remembered im a liar

i always wanted the fucking soup brock made in the pokemon anime

Hello OP, i don’t have anyway to prove this is the same recipe they make in the shows but i make this to calm my inner kid from wanting the fictional soup:

  • 300gr bacon, beef or chicken. A meat of your choice. These go specially well. I prefer chicken tights. Diced
  • 1 medium onion, diced.
  • Garlic minced (i used 2-4 pieces depending on size)
  • 300gr carrot, cleaned, peeled and diced.
  • 3 sticks of celery, washed and diced.
  • 800gr potato. Washed, peeled diced in quarters.
  • 1 head of broccoli.
  • 8 cups of stock of your preference. I recommend using the bones of the beef or chicken, but veggies stock works too for a vegetarian or vegan version.
  • 3 tablespoons all purpose flour.
  • 1 cup whole milk. (Almond or rice milk work fine for a vegan option)
  • ½ cup heavy cream. (Skip it for a vegan option)
  • Salt and black pepper to taste.
  • ½ teaspoon paprika, use the spicy one to get the warmth up a notch in winter.
  • 1 tablespoon fresh chopped coriander. Optional.
  • 1 cup diced gouda or manchego cheese. Optional but really ties all together.

Make sure you have all your ingredients ready and at hand for this one to make sure it comes out nice and tasty!!!

  1. In a pot put water and the bones to prepare your stock (chicken, beef, veggie) You can use premade or bouillon cubes, just make sure its 8 cups worth of broth. In a different pot boil the potatoes until soft.
  2. In a big pot put some butter or olive oil to fry the onion, when it turns a little transparent add the garlic, move constantly.
  3. Add the celery and diced carrots, moving constantly.
  4. The carrot will get a little brighter in color, add the diced meat. Salt and pepper to your taste.
  5. Meanwhile, blend the potatoes with enough stock so your blender wont have trouble blending. If you have a food processor, it’ll be easier.
  6. Ad the remaining stock to you big pot with the veggies and meat, add the broccoli chopped in bite size pieces. Add the paprika and taste for salt and pepper. Let over a medium fire for 10 min.
  7. Separate 3 tbsp of the stock to mix with the flour, set aside. This will be a thickening agent.
  8. Pour the potato mix on the big pot, move to integrate and taste for salt and pepper.
  9. Add the milk and heavy cream. Move with a laddle. Have a final taste and let over low fire for 5 min.
  10. Serve hot and decorate with a pinch of coriander and some cubes of cheese.
  11. ENJOY!

Notes:

I personally prefer to use chicken, love how it goes with potatoes and veggies. Also the tight is very tender and flavorful. With beef you have to be careful not to overcook it or it’ll get gummy and hard to bite, so make adjustments.

VEGAN: could also skip the meat, cheese and heavy cream for a vegan option.

I make it for my younger sister and she loves it. Instead of meat i add some diced, toasted nuts when served. Cashew, pecan and pistachios work nicely.

You’ll have to use 5 tbsp of flour to thicken up the broth a tid bit more without the heavy cream but you can still use a vegan milk.

You can totally skip the coriander, but it adds another dept of flavor.

Do try it with the cheese tho, i promise it’s GODLY. Gouda and manchego are my fave, the melt nicely and have a strong after taste, but i guess any cheese that melts could work.

Finally, if you are like me and like spicy food you can add chopped chili. Serrano and arbol chiles are my go to’s, freshly chopped sprinkled just after serving my bowl.

Hope y'all give it a try and if you have any doubts do ask!

Provecho!

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this is literally the best addition i’ve ever gotten to any of my posts thank you so much

Hey I tried this recipe out and I can confirm that it tastes heavenly!!

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hey. don’t cry. crush two cloves of garlic into a pot with a dollop of olive oil and stir until golden then add one can of crushed tomatoes a bit of balsamic vinegar half a tablespoon of brown sugar half a cup of grated parmesan cheese and stir for a few minutes adding a handful of fresh spinach until wilted and mix in pasta of your choice ok?

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PEACE AND LOVE!!!!!!!!

I read a fair number of recipes on the ten thousand interchangeable recipe blogs that exist, and often they say something like "This recipe is a family favourite!" or "This a crowd-pleaser" etc. and I roll my eyes a little bit every time because of course they are, it goes without saying! People like food! Nearly any special-occasion home-cooked meal is going to be popular.

But there is one recipe, one cake, that has recontextualised all those comments for me and now actually I think those bloggers might be wrong about what a family favourite is. It sure as hell isn't Interchangeable Chocolate Cake No. 7.

I'm telling you this because I need you to know the seriousness of the power I am going to bestow on you. And hey, maybe your friends and family have different preferences than mine do. Maybe you need to find another recipe to fill this role. But you must know that there's a recipe out there, and not even a particularly alluring one or a particularly difficult one, which people will bring up in unrelated conversations to you four years later.

If I so much as say the word cake, my family all turn to face me like a pack of hungry wolves. Even the ones that don't like food!! Health nuts and people who simply don't enjoy eating and people with no appetite and people I have no goddamn memory of ever having cooked for, all of them come up and say to me "Hey remember that cake-" I asked my brother and his girlfriend what foods they're looking forward to, when they return home after three years in Japan, and they say "You know that cake?"

It doesn't sound particularly appetizing. I only made it the first time because it was gluten free and I had a bunch of lemons. Please don't let the name inform your opinion here. This is a fairly fast and simple cake that requires no special equipment and people will literally never stop asking you for it.

It's not even my favourite cake! I'd rather have basque burnt cheesecake, which is harder and more expensive to make and consists almost entirely of fat and sugar but still manages to be a little savoury... But people want the weird corn one.

To be fair, this is the only cake that'll make me dip my fingers into boiling sugar without regret.

I mentioned to my father once — and my father is not what you would call a food lover, we are talking about a man who eats plain yoghurt sprinkled with spirulina for breakfast, a man I have seen plain, leftover pasta with apparent satisfaction — I mentioned once that almond meal is kind of expensive.

I don't think this house has been empty of almond meal since that day.

(Wait no I just realised how sweet that is, I'm gonna cry. Anyway-)

He has apparently spent the last ten years buying almond meal just on the off chance that I would make this cake?

I told him last week "Oh Maddie gave me a bunch of polenta, but lemons aren't really in season." The next day I had ten ripe lemons. Well—nine tolerably ripe lemons, one slacker. The man's not a miracle worker.

Despite my complaints, it really is only two lemons per cake...

A few years ago, when I was living in the housing co-op and looking for a quick cookie recipe, I came across a blog post for something called “Norwegian Christmas butter squares.” I’d never found anything like it before: it created rich, buttery and chewy cookies, like a vastly superior version of the holiday sugar cookies I’d eaten growing up. About a year ago I went looking for the recipe again, and failed to find it. The blog had been taken down, and it sent me into momentary panic. 
Luckily, I remembered enough to find it on the Wayback Machine, and quickly copied it into a file that I’ve saved ever since. I probably make these cookies about once a month, and they last about five days around my voracious husband - they’re fantastic with a cup of bitter coffee or tea. I’m skeptical that there is something distinctively Norwegian about these cookies, but they do seem like the perfect thing to eat on a cold day. 
Norwegian Christmas Butter Squares
1 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 egg 1 cup sugar 2 cups flour 1 tsp vanilla ½ tsp salt Turbinado/ Raw Sugar for dusting
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Chill a 9x13″ baking pan in the freezer. Do not grease the pan.
Using a mixer, blend the butter, egg, sugar, and salt together until it is creamy.  Add the flour and vanilla and mix using your hands until the mixture holds together in large clumps. If it seems overly soft, add a little extra flour. 
Using your hands, press the dough out onto the chilled and ungreased baking sheet until it is even and ¼ inch thick.  Dust the top of the cookies evenly with raw sugar.
Bake at 400 degrees until the edges turn a golden brown, about 12-15 minutes. Remove from the oven. Let cool for about five minutes before cutting the cooked dough into squares. Remove the squares from the warm pan using a spatula.

So I tried this recipe.

And it is GREAT.

It basically makes the platonic ideal of commercial sugar cookies, only in bar form. When I give them to people (which I do a lot, because this is one of those simple recipes where the results seem very impressive), I just tell them they’re sugar cookie bars.

Life hack: add white chocolate chips and sea salt

I made these today for the equinox with sea salt caramel chips and they are simply amazing. Let’s see how long they last with six people in the house!

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Noting for later (as we need more butter for this, and probably won’t do a grocery shopping till the weekend).

The OP version of this has become my go-to cookie for basically all things and I have a whole cohort of friends and colleagues who would murder each other to get them. Haven’t tried any add ons yet, since the base recipe is SO GOOD.

I’ve reblogged this before and I’m reblogging it again because I’m about to make it again tomorrow and I wanted to add my own tale of just how amazingly delicious it. it was SO incredibly simple to bake and with an extra dusting of brown sugar on top and served warm and soft they gift you with the taste of the nectar of the gods when paired with a small glass of milk. this image is from when I first made them a couple years ago:

GO. MAKE THESE !!!!

Hi Neil

Why did you stop making bagels?

What did the bagels ever do to you?

XD

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I stopped because I went to New Zealand, and didn't bring my sourdough starter. There's frozen sourdough starter waiting in the freezer in my house in Scotland for me to return and start bageling once again.

Working with rye flour was fun, as it was closer to using clay than to using dough. They were not beautiful but they tasted amazing.

(Photos: before and after boiling, and after coming out of the oven.)

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Neil, as a fellow bread maker, I’m begging you to share your recipe. Those look amazingly delicious and mine never turn out that well.

Here's my notes to myself from the time:

100 ml starter 200 grams rye flour 220 ml water Mix well, cover with cling film, leave overnight. Next day, add 50 g of Buckwheat flour, 50 g of Barley flour, 100 g of rye flour. 1 tsp of sea salt and 1 tbsp of maple syrup in 2 tbsp of water. Mix well, cover with cling film, leave for a couple of hours in a warm place. Put a big pot of water on to boil. Add syrup to the water. (I’m using date syrup.) Take a bowl of water. Wet hands. With wet hands, make a ball of dough, handful size — think medium snowball. Smooth it, make the hole in the middle, drop into boiling water. It will sink to the bottom, then rise. After a couple of minutes, turn it over in the water. After a couple more minutes take it out and put it on baking paper on a baking tray. I sprinkle the paper with flour. Keep hands wet through all of this, as if working with clay. Don’t crowd the bagels in the water pot. No more than 4 at a time. Give them time — they get puffier. When all the bagels are on the baking tray (it makes 6 or 7) put them in the oven for about 16 or 17 minutes. Then turn them over. Back in the oven for another 6 minutes. And then they come out. Off the tray. Let them cool, and then eat them.

There's no heat setting mentioned, because I was cooking them in an Aga oven which doesn't have fancy things like temperature controls, but is somewhere around 220C or 420F.

I want to try this one.

He put the recipe in the comments for this one! Here you go!

(I’ll type it out so it’s easier to read here)

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup butter
  • 1 and 1/4 cup sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • 2 cups flour
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 3 teaspoons baking powder
  • 8 oz bag of potato chips
  • 1 cup chocolate chips

Instructions:

  • Cream butter and sugar together
  • Beat eggs and vanilla extract into the creamed butter and sugar
  • Fold in flour and baking powder
  • Fold in half of the crushed chips and all of the chocolate chips
  • Chill dough
  • Roll dough in crushed chips
  • Bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for about 15 minutes

Thank you!!!

@disparatepeace​

I'm reblogging this one for the recipe.