real bottom of the barrel traps

Rules:

in front of you is a basket. across from you is also a basket. you have 5 minutes to defend the basket closest to you while also collecting little golden clams from the area around you and getting them into the basket further away, else your mental state will be destroyed. you have been given 3 mentally unwell children to assist you, but there are also 4 mentally unwell children working against you. the timer starts now. good luck

lmao, what a great post! op must have been bleeding out in a saw trap, barely clinging to life, cold fingers fumbling over a phone on 2% battery as they wonder if their sacrifice was for nothing when they wrote this!

Hello French A-level exam maker.

You may have noticed that each of your fingers has been placed into a mini guillotine. You must translate this passage into French with no grammar & spelling errors or even the slightest amount of paraphrasing.

You get two free mistakes before you start losing fingers. Good luck

hello, richie. did you miss me while i was gone. did you really think you'd get away. the hallway's safe. that i won't break you

Hello, King Dedede.

For almost the entirety of Kirby: Right Back at Ya!'s run, you've been talking about how much you want to "clobbah dat dere Kirbeh", and have since been memed to hell and back for it. In front of you is the pink puffball himself. If you can go 5 hours without attacking Kirby, you will receive  a lifetime supply of chips. However, if you do attempt to "clobbah dat dere Kirbeh", you get no chips, and you will also be hit with a semitruck.

Good luck.

You will be tortured with knives and spears and axes and swords and daggers and halberds until you can convince my newest assistant to use other things besides medieval weapons in their traps

hello

last week you claimed to be lactose intolerant, yet today i catch you sneaking a nacho cheese doritos™️ locos tacos supreme with extra sour cream from a participating taco bell location. today we will find out the truth.

the room you are trapped has no toilet

*Television turns on. Billy slowly turns* Hello Gay Bowser.

Hello, eldritch horror beyond our comprehension. 

In front of you is Kirby.

.

Hello Mike. In front of you is an extremely complex device. This device must be operated incredibly precisely if you wish to avoid two massive hammers destroying your hands. Your instructions will be given to you the same way you instructed me while teaching me guitar, which is to say frustratingly vague and very likely to result in your failure. You have half an hour, most of which I intend to spend talking about myself and telling you that you need to chill. Sound familiar? Asshole.

Hello, Carl.

Whenever you come home from driving your car, you open the hood and let it run loudly for several minutes, no matter what time of day or night. Everyone who complains, you tell to eat a dick.

In front of you is a bull penis we got from the butcher shop. It was the most uncomfortable conversation any of us has had in a long time.

If you wish to leave this room alive, you have to eat the whole thing. The room you are in is filthy. The meat is raw. If you don't hurry, it might make you sick.

Should you give up, you'll simply die here. Or, you can swallow your words and live.

Make your choice.

Hello SAMS fandom member, in front of you is a silly post joking about the family tree. Your job is to not use the word ‘mother’ when describing the male characters who had another character’s code in them at some point. You have 30 seconds or I will explode you