u think eurovision is a competition between european countries but it's a actually a competition between the jury and the people

Girlmorning, and in case I don't see you girlafternoon girlevening and girlnight!

Eurovision turns me into a mix of a child full of wonder and curiousity, a song sommelier and, most importantly, a delirios raccoon in a garbage dumpster

NOOOOOOOO SOMEONE SAVE HER!!!!!!

children outside screaming: annoying but ultimately for the greater good. children need Going Outside and Screaming Time for proper emotional development. an auditory burden I am willing to bear

neighbor with his car he made louder on purpose: jail for neighbor. jail for ten thousand years

the idea that your friends won't like you if you're too weird is wrong for example one time I told a friend whenever I was losing my mind I laid down on the floor under my desk and stared at it until I was better and next time she visited me she taped a bag of salami snacks to the underside of my desk with a message saying "going insane all by yourself, handsome?" which I only saw months later when I had a breakdown. that's friendship.

Lol wtf! OP was DEFINITELY on mold spores when they wrote this....

me, to the kids i worked with last week: welcome to medieval camp everyone! can anyone think of any fun medieval activities we might do here at camp this week?

kid: well, they used to do this thing where they would take your body and make it into four pieces and i think it was called quartering.

me: that’s called torture! we will not in fact be participating in torture this week! …anyone else?

GUESS WHO CAME BACK TO CAMP THIS YEAR

In one piece?

hate paper straws ooh it's biodegradable yeah i know because it's biodefuckingrading in my coffee asshole

my three inner demons 💖

look into the horses eyes its going to eat their faces so fucking fast

Apparently the context is this horse has injured everyone who has tried to ride them

Its him

The real slim shady

Nicknames: when you shorten someone’s name affectionately

Nicholasnames: when you elongate someone’s name affectionately

Nichard names: when you incorrectly elongate someone's name for humorous effect.

Every romance book promoted on tiktok is just full to the brim with horrible "steamy" taglines that are just like... Eyes on me, Little Beast. I'm here to make you Damp

[id: a hand full of images of a gray cat surrounded by stuffed animals of frogs with crowns./end id]

e me a mail

make the attachment a pic of a snail

SOMETIMES I FEEL I’VE GOT TO