he’s going The pisstance
he’s going For peed
sometimes i really do like it here
forget about touching grass, i need to touch THE SEA I NEED TO GO INTO THE WATER I NEED TO DIVE INTO THE SEA!!!!!!!!!!!!
I NEED TO GO IN THERE ⬇️⬇️⬇️‼️‼️‼️
Lol. Everyone in the notes freaking out like 'I live by the sea, don't jump in, it dangerous'.
Like, guys, guys, listen, you don't understand. They don't mean... They want to be... Listen, ok, I grew up on the sea, I've been through hurricanes on trawlers and gale force 9 storms crewing tallships. I've seen enormous waves absolutely destroy boats. I've been caught in riptides while scuba diving and felt the complete powerlessness of it. The sea will absolutely annihilate you, consume you, never give up your body, and not even notice.
I know the power of the sea better than most, however, I know exactly what they mean. Sometimes you see it churning with unfathomable power and all you want is to just get in the sea and have it absolutely fuckin blast you clean. Like sandblast your fuckin soul. Fuckin powerwash your bones clean. Ya know?
Can confirm, getting beat up by the ocean is a religious experience.
#YES! YES!#<urge to get beat up by the ocean is why I have 3 near drowning experiences>#but GOD I miss it#I’m glad other people have verbalised that thought like this usually I get Looks for saying it’s like a fight#I need to lose!!! to be slapped about by the big uncaring blue who holds me in her mouth#blast you clean is very apt
magical girl transformation but theres no pretty lights or sparkles just grotesque and blood curling body mutation layered by the sounds of joints cracking bones snapping and muscles twisting unnaturally and she looks like a normal magical girl at the end
i dont smoke cigarettes but they should let me have a smoke break where i burn stuff behind the restaurant
what do you think the homestuck discourse will be like in 20 years
found the image I was gonna respond with to the ant post the other day about cleaning up empty soda cans.
i live in the most haunted house in the northern hemisphere because i keep buying cursed dolls and cracking them open like pistachios to release the ghosts inside em. see i've got this business idea and it's to unethically harvest their ectoplasm and sell it in little jars like honey. unfortunately i've hit a snag, namely that ectoplasm tastes like shit and also if you ingest it you permanently lose the capacity to feel joy. so now i've got a bunch of unsatisfied customers who are literally impossible to please banging on my door at all hours. it doesn't really matter though because the ghosts are already constantly slamming all my doors and cabinets so it's just a wall of sound in here at all times anyway. i'm pretty sure i've got tinnitus now but on the upside i've got this new business idea where i repair old dolls with kintsugi and sell them at a ridiculous markup to etsy women in cuffed corduroy pants.
this wasn't a quote from a real PDF btw I just thought it would be funny to tex this up so it looked like one instead of posting it directly
the next evolution of Tumblr shitposting is looking promising
[robot with the biggest eyebags ever] ill be fine as soon as i organize my wires nothing a bit of cable management camt fix. yeah hold on i just gotta allocate more ram and reset my internal clock and plug this usb stick in. ya im fine i just need to recharge and turn this dial and do a quick system reset. the diagnostics of that script i ran are a lie btw im fine. do you have any cigarettes
Every day I learn of new unique gimmick blogs on tumblr
best saint to pray to for stealing my neighbors xbox
patron saint of pissing off neighbor
coolest saints
list of catholic burglars
how to earn forgiveness for stealing xbox
can priests play halo
i have witnessed unspeakable horrors . the horrors weren't undescribable or anything, i just had to sign an NDA