Being a little bitch

Hi yeah I'm more than halfway through my Path of Radiance run and I'm just now realizing Janaff is a dude...

Anyways Genderfluid Janaff anyone?

Inigo: I'm naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Cynthia: What do rainbows mean to you?

Brady: Gay rights.

Severa: There's money.

Lucina: The sign of Naga's promise to never destroy the whole continent with a flood.

Laurent: It is an optical phenomenon that separates sunlight into its continuous spectrum when the sun shines on raindrops.

Stahl: What are you drinking?

Lon'qu: Vodka.

Stahl: Straight?

Lon'qu: No, gay. Why?

Lucina: I can't do this without you, Inigo.

Inigo: Sure you could. Not as stylishly, of course, but you could.

~

Brady: If you get in trouble, I'm gonna be like... a lawyer to you. Ok?

Owain: Okay.

*later*

Robin: Owain! Sit down on the chair, you're in trouble.

Brady, whispering: Deny everything.

Owain, loudly: That isn't a chair.

~

Ricken: We all have our demons.

Ricken, grabbing Henry: This one’s mine.

Chrom, to Robin: *Holding the Falchion* Go to Bed. This is no longer a request, This is now a threat.

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Owain: Well, well, well, if it isn’t the consequences of my actions.

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Tharja: You seem familiar... have I threatened you before?

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Inigo: Valentines Day? I'm ready. *Sprays an entire can of AXE body spray on himself*

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Gerome: I want to kiss you.

Laurent, not paying attention: What?

Gerome: I said if you die, I won't miss you. FUCK.

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Brady: Time sensitive question how flirt boy.

Nah: Throw rocks at he.

Cynthia: Hot Dogs.

Severa: Kill him.

Brady: Thanks girls.

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Kjelle: Owain, I beg of you. Please, PLEASE go to one of the healers.

Owain: Hey, I'm sorry. Is this OUR stab wound?

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Henry: Is this a good idea?

Henry: Probably not.

Henry: Do I care?

Henry: Absolutely not!

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Inigo: Would you take an arrow for me?

Lucina: ...yes?

*Noire angrily bursts into the room*

Inigo, running away: Great, thanks!

Severa: Sooo, did you kiss Laurent?

Gerome: No, the moment wasn’t right. Look, this man could actually be my future husband. I want our first kiss to be amazing.

Severa: Awe, that’s so sweet. So you chickened out like a little bitch?

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Lucina: The next person to say ‘weird flex but okay’ is getting a kick to the shin.

Owain: *Gives Laurent the kicked puppy look™️*

Laurent: *Sigh*

Laurent: Preposterous boast, but alas.

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Ricken: You're the most jealous guy I know.

Henry, immediately: You know other guys?

Ricken:

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Frederick: It’s beautiful out here.

Libra: And quiet.

Frederick: Too quiet.

Libra: ...Did we lose someone?

[Cuts to Chrom with a bear in a headlock, Vaike running to join him]

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Basilio: You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol. You treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol. Basic science.

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Sumia: I'm usually that person who has no idea what's going on.

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Lissa: Pose as a team because SHIT JUST GOT REAL!

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Frederick, to Henry: If the thought of something makes any of you giggle for longer than 15 seconds, you are to assume you’re not allowed to do it.

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Gaius: But when all hope seemed lost, I had an epiphany!

Gaius earlier: I'm going to throw myself into the sea.

Robin: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.

Chrom: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

Robin: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??

Chrom: Is it working?

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Inigo, out of nowhere: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me.

Brady, sleep-deprived and very shocked out of his brains: WhEreE dId YoU cOmE fRoM?!?!

Owain whipping his sword out: Who dareth creepeth up on me?

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Ricken: I love murder mysteries!

Henry, trying to impress him: I've been a suspect in four murder cases.

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Basilio: I don't think we can mansplain, manipulate or malewife our way outta this one, Lon.

Lon'qu: *Lets out a deep sigh*

Lon'qu: Manslaughter it is.

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Henry: It's pretty cold outside.. wanna hold hands? We should stay close.

Ricken, blushing: O-Okay. Sure.

Sully: WE'RE IN THE DESERT-!

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Stahl: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Sully: Several traffic violations.

Robin: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Donnel: Roughly thirteen cups o' coffee.

Lon'qu: Also, that’s not our cart.

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Lucina: You often use humor to deflect trauma

Owain: Thank you

Lucina: I didn't say that was a good thing.

Owain: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny

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Chrom: This is a list of possible places Robin could’ve disappeared to.

Frederick:

Frederick: Milord, is a map of the entire region.

Chrom, on the brink of tears: I have no clue where he could've disappeared to.

Robin: What’s up guys? I’m back.

Chrom: What the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. I literally saw you die.

Robin: Death is a social construct.

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Lucina: I’m actually deeply in love with Inigo and we’ve been dating for a couple months now, we even have pet names.

Owain: Why are you telling me this??

Lucina: Because no one will believe you.

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Owain: Bro-

Brady: No, no, hold up, rewind.

Brady: Your tongue was down in my throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??

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Inigo: Is there a word that's a mix between angry and sad?

Laurent: Malcontented, disgruntled, miserable, desolated.

Owain: Smad.

Stahl: I wasn’t that drunk.

Lon'qu: You colored my face with a highlighter because you said I was important.

Stahl: BECAUSE YOU ARE!

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Gerome: ...Hey, what’s the word for being attracted to intelligence?

Laurent: Sapiosexuality.

Gerome, smiling faintly: Right. Thank you.

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Virion: Why is helping someone hide a body the standard for a true friendship?

Virion: Look, if you’re in trouble, I’ll lie to the cops for you. I’ll dispose of evidence. Whatever.

Virion: But please, for the love of fuck, don't make me dig a hole. That sounds so hard.

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Henry, giggling: Hey Fred, why can't a koala be a bear?

Frederick, reading a book: Because they're marsupials

Henry: bECaUse THey'Re mArsUPiaLS

Henry: NO! It's because they don't have the right koalafacations

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Ricken: When you see him please don’t freak out ok?

Chrom: I’m not going to freak out. Who ever you’re dating I’ll always be accepting of them

Ricken: Alright, you can come in!

*Henry walks in*

Chrom: Henry get out the way I’m trying to see who Ricken's dating

This is different then what I usually post. I just have some songs I associate with some characters, so Imma share some of them one post at a time. A weird duo, but we start with Henry and Gerome :]. Hope you enjoy them. (PLEASE give suggestions)

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Henry - Necromancin Dancin by Bear Ghost

` When I'm necromancin', everyone's dancin', no one can stop me, I dare you to try. `

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Gerome - Peregrine by Mako

` Fly, Peregrine, I hope your broken wings can carry you, carry you home. `

Henry: Hey do you wanna know a secret?

Frederick: No

Henry: Okay

Frederick:

Frederick: Do you smell smoke?

Henry: The secret is that your tent is on fire!

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Robin: We've got to find a way to cut down our expenses. What can we live without?

Chrom: Tharja, probably.

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Inigo: Okay, truth or dare?

Laurent: Truth

Inigo: How many hours have you slept this week?

Laurent: ...Dare.

Inigo: Go to bed.

Laurent: I don’t approve of this game.

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Basilio: Here’s a fun Christmas idea: we’ll hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to fight whoever else is under it.

Lon'qu: ...Mistlefoe.

Basilio: Somebody's halls are getting DECKED!

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Owain: I've decided that I'm a snack. People are just not hungry.

Brady, under his breath: I'm f*cking hungry.

Owain: What?

Brady: Nothing, shut up.

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Chrom: Toss me the emblem.

[Christmas tree crashes next to Chrom]

Chrom: I said the EMBLEM!

Lissa: I thought you said Christmas tree!

Chrom: Why the fuck would I say Christmas tree?!

(Gonna try and post smaller, more frequent quotes)

Kidnapper: We have one of your men, pay us and you will get him back.

Frederick: Which one?

Kidnapper, while Inigo is staring at him intensely: T-the fashionable one.

Frederick: He made you say that, right?

Kidnapper, on the verge of crying: Just come and take him back. Please.

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Brady: Love is dumb.

Brady, glancing at Owain as they punch a hole in a wall: And I'm the dumbest bitch alive.

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Olivia: This is a mistake.

Henry, enthusiastically: A mistake we're going to laugh about one day!

Olivia: But not today.

Henry, still enthusiastic: Oh no, today is going to be hell!

-

Cherche: But what about Henry?

Ricken: Don't worry about him.

Ricken: I once watched him fall down 5 flights of stairs, stand up, and keep eating his hotdog like nothing happened.

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Donnel: So, how did the date with Lon'qu go?

Stahl: I tried complimenting him, but couldn't decide on whether to say "you have an amazing smile" or "you have nice eyes." Then he smiled a little and I panicked and said, "You have eyes."

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Ricken: I’m kind of crushing on someone... but I’m worried about telling you who it is cause you’re not going to like it...

Vaike: Just rip the bandage off, shortie.

Ricken: It’s Henry.

Vaike: Put the bandage back on.

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Kidnapper: We have a troop of yours.

Frederick: Which one.

Kidnapper: The loud, annoying one who never shuts up

Frederick: Which one.

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Stahl: I’ve never smoked marijuana.

Stahl: I ate a brownie once at a party.

Stahl: It was intense. It was kind of indescribable. I felt like I was floating.

Stahl: Turns out there was no pot in the brownie. It was just an insanely good brownie.

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Chrom @ Robin: I'm not gay but DAMN

Lissa: You don't have to be gay to appreciate a good looking guy

Chrom: Nah I'd fuck him

Lissa: Oh okay shit

-

Robin: What did you two do.

Vaike:

Owain:

Robin: You're not in trouble. I just need to know if I need to lie to Lissa again or not.

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Donnel: You know what they say: if you can't beat them, curl up in a ball and protect your organs.

Stahl: ...Nobody says that.

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Sully: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us.

Say'ri: If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.

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Chrom: Who traumatized you?

Robin: Do you you want a list?

Chrom, with Falchion out: Ya actually

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Basilio: I'm gonna prank him by calling him Lon'qu.

Olivia: I don't understand. That's his name..?

Lon'qu: *Walks around the corner*

Basilio: Hey Lon'qu

Lon'qu:

Basilio: Lon'qu?

Lon'qu: Are you mad at me?

Basilio: Oh no, I'm sorry Lon. Come here son.

Olivia: Oh, I see

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Sully: Based on genital structure, men should really be the ones wearing skirts and women should be wearing pants.

Stahl: The Scots were right all along

Kellam: The Scots did it to hide more knives on their bodies

Gaius: The Scots were right all along.

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Sumia: How do you feel about children?

Sully: Uh, they’re okay, I guess. I mean, if I saw one on the street I wouldn’t throw a rock at them. 

Sumia: Why would you throw a rock at a child. 

Sully: I just said I wouldn’t.

Pspspspsppspspsps

Fellow Percildan lovers I have content pspspspsps

(Tap for better quality)

Frederick: Are you insane?!

Henry: I prefer the term mentally hilarious!

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Inigo: I won

Lucina: But I have you pinned to the ground?

Inigo: I know.

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Sully: Is there any ale?

Stahl: It's 8 in the morning.

Vaike: That's not what she asked.

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Lissa: Hey Robin, working again? It's late, you should stop.

Robin, still working: I'm fine, don't worry

Lissa: ...Stop working or I'll tell Chrom.

Robin:

Robin, putting down his quill: I'll stop working, but it as nothing to do with Chrom!

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Ricken: Could you all at least try to see this from my perspective?

Henry: *Kneels down*

Sully: *Crouches down*

Vaike: *Sits on floor*

Basilio: *Lies on the floor on his stomach with his feet up like a twelve-year-old girl*

Ricken: I hate all of you.

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Laurent: Be careful.

Gerome: Always am.

Laurent: That's debatable.

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Sully: I just got told that I’m “beautiful like a porcelain doll” and that’s a new one.

Stahl: Sully, you’re beautiful, but you’re definitely not a porcelain doll because porcelain is fragile and you’re a bad bitch.

Sully, extremely flattered: Aww...

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Gerome, awkward as fuck: Uh... you have beautiful eyes.

Laurent, just as awkward: Thanks, they don't work.

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Libra: Why is this puzzle so hard..?

Virion: You want to know what else is hard? ;)

Cherche, coming out of nowhere: This book I'm about to beat you with.

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Virion, leaning against a post: So, you come here often?

Libra: This is my tent.

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Chrom: Night guys.

Donnel: Night, y'all! :)

Inigo: Night. Night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite. Tonight imma fight till we see the sunlight. Tick tock on the clock but the party don't stop like oh-woah-oh-WOAH-

Brady: SHUT THE FUCK UP!

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Stahl, about Lon'qu, to Sully: When you highkey want someone, but you tryna be lowkey about it.

Ricken, praying on his bed: I need someone to help me in the mental department. Someone who'll kiss me. Send me an angel? The nicest angel you have.

Henry: *Manical laughter*

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Henry: Three of the four elements are represented as types of hockey. Air hockey, ice hockey, and field hockey. Fire hockey needs to be a thing.

Robin: Fire hockey absolutely does NOT need to be a thing.

Henry: Do you care NOTHING for the balance of the four elements!?

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Sully, seeing Sumia for the first time: Woah, she's fucking gorgeous.

Stahl: Don't be jealous, you're pretty too.

Sully: I'm not being jealous, Stahl, I'm being gay.

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Frederick: And what do we say when life disappoints us?

Gerome: Called it.

Lucina: As the prophecy foretold...

Sully: Tharja did it.

Robin: Time to fist fight a god.

Frederick:

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Chrom, about Grima: You played him like a fiddle!

Robin: Oh no, Chrom, fiddles are actually difficult to play.

Robin: I played that bastard like the cheap kazoo he is.

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Lissa: Have you guys seen Owain and Brady? They haven't finished their cocoa

Cynthia: No, haven’t seen them since the storm started

Lissa: Since the sto- OWAIN NO!

Owain, standing in the middle of a thunderstorm with an shovel raised high: STRIKE ME DOWN ZEUS, YOU DON’T HAVE THE BALLS

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Chrom: The next time Robin's angry with me, I'll drape him in a cape and say "now you're super angry"

Chrom: Maybe he'll laugh, maybe I’ll die.

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Basilio: On a scale from 1-10, rate your pain.

Lon'qu: Pi. A minimal but a never ending number.

Basilio: What in the actual-

I'm back on my bullshit

Frederick, to The Shepherds: And if you have any suggestions, feel free to put them in the suggestion box.

Gaius: But— that’s a trash can.

Frederick: It sure is.

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Ricken: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?

Sully: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies

Nowi: Socks are Feetie Heaties

Henry: Forks are Stabby Grabbies

Chrom: Defibrillators are heartie starties

Gaius: Stamps are lickie stickies

Olivia: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies

Robin: I hate it here.

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Sumia: Sully is my...

Cordelia: come on you can do it

Sumia: Sully is my g...g...

Cordelia: You're so close.

Sumia: g-

Sumia: gir-.. g-

Sumia: G-GAY FRIEND

Cordelia, sighing: Close enough.

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Lucina: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions?

Owain: Put spaghetti in it.

Lucina: I'm currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you.

Inigo: Put spaghetti in it.

Lucina: I'm currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two.

Cynthia: Put spaghetti in it.

Lucina: I am no longer taking suggestions.

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Stahl: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.

Lon'qu: That's why I carry two swords.

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Robin: You really don’t get to choose who you love

Robin, gesturing to Chrom eating a orange: I would know because I’m stuck liking this guy

Robin, trying to create a sense of calm by lighting incense, only to find out that the sticks were actually sparklers:

Robin: This is actually painfully on-brand for me.

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Donnel: I wonder what butterflies taste like.

Henry: They taste bad.

Donnel: How do you know that?

Henry: I answered your question. That's all you're getting.

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Stahl: Are you ready to commit?

Lon'qu: ...A crime, or a relationship?

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Gaius: I don’t think we can mansplain, manipulate or malewife our way out of it this time

Henry, grabbing his Waste tome: Manslaughter it is then!

-

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

Frederick: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone:

Sumia: ...I did. I broke it.

Frederick: No. No you didn't. Henry?

Henry: Don't look at me. Look at Chrom.

Chrom: What?! I didn't break it!

Heney: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Chrom: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Henry: Suspicious.

Chrom: No, it's not!

Gaius: If it matters, probably not, but Twinkles was the last one to use it.

Maribelle: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Gaius: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Maribelle: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Gaius!

Sumia: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Frederick.

Frederick: No! Who broke it!?

Everyone:

Gaius: Frederick... Bubbles has been awfully quiet.

Robin: rEALLY?!

*Everyone starts arguing*

Frederick, to Stahl: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

Frederick: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Stahl:

Frederick: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.