somehow instead of saying "as a treat", I've started using the phrase "for morale", as if my body is a ship and its crew, and I (the captain) have to keep us in high spirits, lest we suffer a mutiny in the coming days.
and so I will eat this small block of fancy cheese, for morale. I will take a break and drink some tea, for morale. I will pick up that weird bug, for morale.
I'm not sure if it helps, but it does entertain me
examples of each:
- barefoot stepping on a nail
- gruesome werewolf transformation
- complete community ostracism or societal breakdown, the social contract to help each other doesn't apply to you or is fundamentally broken
- mother tells child they must do something horrible to prevent damnation, cults
- an older sibling forgets their younger sibling sleeping in the hot car
- was that your mom's voice in the kitchen or was that something that sounds like her?
- someone tortures a stranger simply because it's interesting and they're bored. cruelty is the point.
- people drinking coffee and joking around while they put in motion profound atrocities
- natural disasters, freezing/drowning/dehydrating/starving to death, being stranded or lost
- looking through photos from your solo camping trip, you find several of yourself asleep in the tent.
eminem: i lov To smaok weEd and FUCK chicks. when i go to take a PEE it’s a real PISS
ancient wizards soul trapped in a levitating purple orb shaped crystal buried underneath 20 tons of sediment: AUUUUUUUUUGGHRHHHGGHHHH!!!!
person in 2015 seeing anything bad happen in the world: this is like in harri potter when dobby fucked that tree trunk with his big cock
white women: ugh white men -__-
white men: ugh white women -__-
astronaut who has been stranded in space for 71 days straight with no means of communicating with earth: my whole family thinks i'm dead
1976: Country Party politician Winton Turnbull starts a speech in parliament by declaring "I'm a country member!"
Prime Minister Gough Whitlam shouts back, "Yes, I remember!"
white 44 year old twitter user with a03 addict in their bio: omg the dad from cocomelon is actually kind of a litty dilf? and his relationship with the mailman is kind of enemies to lovers villaincore let me know if i should make them both pee on eachother
worlds youngest and yet most verbose baby online: can you seriously like knock if off man im trying to learn about the rhombus
white 44 year old twitter user with a03 addict in their bio: fuck off worlds youngest and yet most verbose baby. just another puriteen minor inserting themselves into adult spaces. go play in the sandbox Also heres ur dox: 123 Circle Road ..... yea i have that....if someone shows up to your house and shoots you and kills you then thats deserved 🤷♂️ know your fucking place and get the hell out of the cocomelon fandom if youre not ready to see dark topics
a scientist at mit about to change the world forever: i just made my own centipede by sewing all the dead flies in my room together with all the dead ants in my room 😃☝️
the first man made centipede: kill me again
Traditionally politicians would don a top hat to speak in Parliament, leading to the rule that MPs must have their head covered in order to raise a point of order.
However, with top hats falling out of fashion, politicians have had to be creative when it comes to covering their head, leading to many politicians now crafting a hat out of a piece of paper if they want to raise a point.
Shipping isn't trying to explain why a relationship is actually canon. It's not even trying to explain why it should or could be canon. Shipping is saying "wouldn't it be funny if these two fucked" and everyone needs to remember that.
and sometimes it's "wouldn't it be fucked up if these two fucked"
I present:
It is very cute to watch people feign offense at the fact that cocaine was found in the White House. My default assumption is that there has been at least one person in the White House who is actively on cocaine at all times for the last 80 years
August 2016: Australia’s national census night fails after authorities report the website is receiving a sophisticated DDOS attack that has taken it offline.
It was later revealed that the so called “attack” was actually just the entire population of Australia attempting to complete the census.
Streaming companies are the landlords of media. You will rent in perpetuity, and never actually own anything.
✨🏴☠️ PIRATE AND DOWNLOAD YOUR FAVORITE MEDIA IMMEDIATELY. PIRATE AND DOWNLOAD YOUR FAVORITE MEDIA IMMEDIATELY 🏴☠️✨
1. Download Firefox
2. Add the following extensions: uBlock Origin, AdBlocker Ultimate, Privacy Badger, Privacy Possum, minerBlock (ClearURLs and Don’t track me Google also recommended but not necessary for this)
3. Go forth brave soldier
