what ep5 has done to me:

how i'd like to pay it back to amc:

no therapy on earth could cure this trauma they've done to me 👋

Something I think is really interesting about Lestat's reaction to watching Louis and Jonah together is that as soon as Louis comes home and asks about Antoinette, Lestat tells him he isn't going to see her again.

I could easily see a version of this story where Lestat doubles down and tries to start a game of jealousy chicken where he brings Antoinette back home so Louis can catch them together because he wants to hurt him back.

But that's not what he does. Instead, he immediately ends his affair and asks Louis if he wants to have a date night. I think he was wholly unprepared for the jealousy and misery he felt watching Louis with Jonah and finally understands how Louis must have felt watching him with Antoinette. I think he's hoping they can put this behind them and go back to normal, that Louis will come home to him like he promised he would and maybe that he can show him he can be better behaved when he wants to be--that he isn't always "a lot" and "not perfect" like Louis said he was.

When Louis kind of blows him off a little to spend time with his real family--because Louis makes it painfully clear throughout this episode and the last one that Lestat is not who he considers his family at this time--you can see from Lestat's demeanor that it stings.

I think, maybe for the first time, Lestat sees that his relationship with Louis is unraveling, and it gets harder and harder for him to put Louis' words to Jonah about him out of his mind.

And it's that vindictive streak in him that pushes him to decide then that if he can't get the opportunity to show Louis he can be the doting partner he wants and deserves, then he'll just have to show him just how much he can be.

Imma need one of y’all, to write some toe curling fanfics about this man😗

SICK DEE

Dee tossed and turned in bed all night, unable to fall sleep despite how much exhaustion fogged the young boy's mind, there were heavy bags under Dee's eyes as he was drenched in a shit ton of sweat head to toe, his aching head was fogged up from

fever and fatigue, his stomach felt funny and uneasy, he kept having nausea that'll switch on and off every now and than, and his body couldn't tell the difference between hot and cold do to him not knowing whether he should stay wrapped up in his blanket or not. Dee layed flat on his back with his arms

and legs sprawled out as he looked up at the ceiling, all while he just layed their in ill agony for hours on end as he tried to think about what might of made him have fever, chills, and on and off nausea. Half of him

believed it was possibly the oven pizza but if that was the case, everyone would be awake and feeling terrible. Infact the mere thought of food made Dee's stomach churn uncomfortably and for the hiccups to set in , the hiccups doing nothing but making shit worst and upsetting his stomach even

further "Shit,....why would you think about foo- -..." He thought to himself before he could finish his sentence, he gagged as he clamped a hand onto his lips and threw his legs over the side of the bed to get up onto his feet.

Once he got up though, his legs felt like they were made of spaghetti as he quietly sped walked to the bathroom to get medicine as he tried to muffle back a gag he couldn't help but lean slightly against the wall, he eventually makes it to the bathroom and turns on the light to rummage through the cabinet as he

let's out a shaky breath to make the nausea subside. It wasn't long until Dee found ibuprofen and immediately tried to take it but stopped himself when he felt a stronger wave of nausea take over his body,

his face started turning a pale green as his mouth started salivating , sweat started to peirce his skin and waves of nauseous soft hiccups started to emmit from the deep depths of his throat

Dee clamped his hand tightly on his lips, his stomach roiling as he immediately crouched over the toilet , squeezing his eyes shut as he removed his hand from his mouth his arms was now tightly wrapped around his upset stomach, his stomach

churned nauseously under his arms small hiccups escaped from his throat one of his hiccups turned to a gag than a wet belch as everything he ate started rushing back up his throat and spilling into the toilet with a splatter,

Dee groaned softly, sweat forming over his brow as he than whimpered once Dee started vomiting though his stomach didn't seem like it wanted to stop , his stomach only gave him a second to breathe before his stomach started lurching into the toilet again as his body shook feverishly

Dee let's out a nauseating hiccup as his shoulders jolted forward with a soft strained heave , the veins in his neck clenching along with his stomach. Saliva and vomit dripped from Dee's mouth before he felt his stomach roil painfully yet queasily Dee let's out a small whimper before groaning "....Ow..."

Dee's stomach tightened again as another wave of puke splash into the water below every time a wave of nausea washed over the young boy, Dee let's out a nauseous groan before doubling over with a

wave of sick exiting his body. Dee's stomach burbled as he hugged his stomach tightly, Dee squeezed his eyes shut before heavily swallowing nauseously, but swallowing caused Dee's stomach to clench as another wave of sick started to fall into the toilet

Dee didn't feel good and started to feel miserable tears formed in his eyes as his body shook feverishly and his throat felt as if it was on fire, All of a sudden, Dee heard a gentle knock on door and a familiar voice say "Hello, anyone in there?...."

Dee realized how long he's been in the bathroom and mutters "Shit...." before heaving out a "I-I'll be out in a second...." His voice sounded like a hoarse sob as he felt his stomach doing backflips again he

groans out a soft "...Ow...." Before feeling his stomach clench and feeling another wave of sick pass his lips as he let's out a soft gutteral heave as his throat was burning from being overly abused

~ Glam's point of veiw~

My need for sleep was futile after i have awoken from my slumber and didn't know why such an event has happened, usually I'm able to continue sleeping thanks to Victoria's snoring, but even that's not working at the moment, while i was woken up very easily my darling, Victoria is a hard

sleeper that even i wonder how she's even able to sleep through things...or fall asleep easily without even one thought at that matter, perhaps just a mystery i'd never figure out. Anyways with a sigh i than began to gently get up from the bed, throwing my

feet at the side of the bed before gently standing up and leaving my room for a glass of water "Perhaps a sip of water could do the trick..." I thought to myself, but when i came across the bathroom, i couldn't help but to hear a faint groan from inside

This brought me confusion so i listened one more time and heard another groan, worry started to set in as i was wondering who this was. It couldn't be Victoria, since she

was still in bed but my votes was either on Chive, Dee, or Heavy gently but also hesitantly, i than raise my fist to the door and knocked gently "Hello, anyone in there...?" my dad instincts kicked in when i heard a younger reply, i was correct...it was one of my sons , Dee

"Shit...." i heard Dee's voice mutter before i than heard him say "I-I'll be out in a second...." ,but i started getting more worried when i heard him let out a soft ow than hearing what sounded like him puking

~ end of Glam's pov~

Dee was too sick to even place his bets on who might be at the door as he heard it gently open, he was even too sick to complain about his privacy as his face still remained over the bowl

Glam's usual smile was replaced by a concerned frown the type of frown a parent has when they see that their child is either injured or sick, crouching down he than feels Dee's forehead for a fever, yep has a fever alright , Glam makes a concerned click of the

tongue before looking up and seeing the bottle of ibuprofen on the sink counter, sitting down he than places a gentle hand on Dee's back as he felt Dee's stomach muscles clench just by rubbing his back.

Dee's stomach heaves again as a retch emmited from the depths of his throat, sour vomit pours out of his mouth as Glam than removed his hand from his son's back to go retreive his son some water from the kitchen

As Dee was still over the toilet tightly hugging his stomach as it clenched when he started puking up bile. As meanwhile Glam sighs in concern before grabbing a cup and filling it with water before heading back to

the bathroom where he heard Dee quietly dry heaving as he tried to calm the tremors in his spine, Dee whimpers as miserable sobs exited his trembling body as he wiped his mouth, threw away the tissue, and

flushed the toilet Glam than hands Dee the cup of water in which dee used to slosh around in his mouth before spitting the remains in the toilet , after wards he than helps his son up before handing him the cup of water in which he drunk slowly as he turned off the bathroom light and headed out of there.

Dee was leaning on his dad for support, feverishly shivering as one arm clung to his father for support while the other was weakly yet gingerly wrapped around his stomach as he'd sniffle and sob every once in a while

,causing Glam to console his older son as all of a sudden Heavy came out of his room. Rubbing one of his eyes but paused when he saw what was happening "What's going on, is Dee okay?...." Heavy asked in concern with a yawn

Glam turned when he heard his son was up "Your brother isn't feeling well, but i'll take care of him. It's best if you go back to bed, Heavy...." Glam explained as Heavy seemed a bit hesitant before saying good night, than telling Dee "Hope you feel better...." Before going back to bed

Dee groaned in response to Heavy. Eventually Glam manages to eventually bring Glam to bed than left and came back to place a trashcan by the poor kid's bed, Dee was now instantly fast asleep with his arms wrapped protectively around his aching stomach.

Glam looked down at his son in concern before running his fingers gently through his sons hair before saying gently "Don't worry about going to school tomorrow, you're staying here...." , Dee made a low whimpering noise in response , to sick to respond as Glam than says "If you need anything, call me....."

Before he than left the room as he closed the door behind him as Glam sighed to himself, this was definitely gonna be a long night and tomorrow wouldn't be so different either

let’s talk Belfast

October 20th 2015

belfast was the only one direction show to ever get canceled. it was canceled 10 minutes before the boys were supposed to go on stage with 11,000 people waiting in the arena and the opening act had already played. first they said niall was sick and then it was because liam had diarrhea . there was never a straight story of why they canceled the show. the boys had all performed sick before and in way worst conditions. they even played a show where harry couldn’t sing at all. what actually probably happened has to do with babygate. when the babygate stunt first started it was originally just going to be that louis had got some girl pregnant and then they were going to end the stunt by having louis take a paternity test and oops he isn’t actually the father. that is why louis “agreed” to the stunt in the first place. long story short the reason why we believe belfast was actually canceled is because louis was told the news that they will be continuing the stunt and not going to original way of ending it before the child is born. earlier on this day and a couple days before, louis was interviewed a lot about becoming a dad. this was also the night that the rumors started of louis going to be a judge on x factor with simon cowell. a couple hours after they canceled the show harry, niall, and liam all tweeted apologizes about the show. while louis tweeted a link to the perfect music video and perfect of spotify. he also tweeted a home emoji and “i’ll make this feel like home”. if you scrolled down under perfect on spotify you could find home. it’s not a coincidence that home was “leaked” on belfast. also later that night we got a picture of rbb on the toilet with a book about diarrhea.

heres a little bonus fact.

tamara bell. who is she? tamara bell is probably one of the only beards or stunts that we can thank. this time the stunt was pulled off by tamera and louis themselves. originally louis’ timeline with girlfriends and marriage stunt wise was supposed to go with him ending up marrying brianna because of the fact that he was supposedly having a kid with her. obviously he didn’t want that so he and tamera bell went out in public together to keep the marriage path from going through. so there ya go. i probably, no i know, i missed a lot of information but there’s a just of that. so thank you tamera

A Love Letter to “Little Freak”

An analysis of Harry’s new song, and why I find it so important. 

(Quick Disclaimer: I have seen a lot of people on Twitter referring to “Little Freak” as a Larry song, or Sweet Creature 2.0. I feel I should let you know now that I do not believe this to be the next Larry anthem. Yes, the blue and green lyric is very cute and definitely a possible reference; however, I find this song to be more focused on Harry himself, and I will explain why. Secondly, I am not trying to say that I know or understand Harry’s sexuality or how he identifies. That is personal to him; nevertheless, he has told us and shown us enough that I believe it’s safe to say he is not a straight man. Third, this is obviously my personal interpretation and you do not have to agree with any of it!)

Without further ado, here are my in-depth thoughts on “Little Freak,” and why I think this is a song all about Harry coming to terms with his own sexuality (whatever that may be). 

To begin, let’s look at the title:

Harry is no stranger to using double entendres in his writing, and I believe the title “Little Freak” is no different. The first meaning, as seen in the very beginning of verse one, is the use of “freak” as a word that means: a sexual person, one who enjoys having sex, etc. The second meaning, and the one that I find hints to the deeper meaning of this song as a whole, is the use of “freak” as a word that means: a person who is unusual or different, a derogatory term that has been used in the past to describe someone who is gay. 

As I already stated above, I believe this song is about Harry coming to terms with his sexuality. We’ve seen Harry come such a long way in the past twelve years; while he seems more unabashedly himself than ever before, I’m sure that, no matter how he identifies, his sexuality was not easy to accept, especially in the industry he grew up in. The title “Little Freak” seems to be a reclamation of sorts. He has taken a phrase that might have once been used as an insult and is now stating it clearly, saying: love me or leave me, this is who I am.

Verse 1:

Before I talk about the lyrics themselves, I do want to clarify that with my personal interpretation I believe that the subject of this song, the “you” used throughout, is a female. Specifically, I think the subject represents the woman (or women rather) that Harry was made to date throughout his career.

He starts off saying: Little freak, Jezebel, you sit high atop the kitchen counter. The nicknames he uses both have meanings that immediately paint the subject as someone with a high sexual drive, a woman who is seeking attention. Stay green a little while, you bring blue lights to dreams. Yes, yes. The beloved blue and green lyric. Is this a Larry reference? Most likely, but I think it has deeper meaning as well. 

Green is a word that can describe someone who is young, innocent, and inexperienced (Harry at this time in his life). The line “stay green a little while” feels like a message to his younger self: you can stay innocent a little while longer, you are not the womanizer they immediately portrayed you to be. As for, “you bring blue lights to dreams,” yes, I do think of our sweet and wonderful Louis Tomlinson. The Larrie in me could potentially see this line as meaning:  yeah, I know I’m with you, but I’m dreaming of him.  

Starry haze, crystal ball, somehow you’ve become some paranoia is where I see Harry start to think about and question how he’s feeling. There seems to be some confusion, and he’s maybe trying to gain insight into why he is feeling the way that he feels. Paranoia can be described as experiencing constant anxiety, feeling misunderstood, isolated, and jealous. All of these emotions showing us that being with this female does not feel right or good to him.

And lastly, the real kicker that drives it home is Harry telling the subject she’s a wet dream just dangling, but your gift is wasted on me. In other words, Harry is saying, “I get it. You’re hot and seductive, and I should want you right now, but that gift of yours is wasted on me because I do not feel that attraction.”

Chorus:

I think the chorus illustrates Harry’s reflections, ruminations, and observations throughout this journey of self-discovery. Yes, he is focused on the subject of this song, but not in a romantic sense. He thinks about these women and how he doesn’t feel the attraction he’s told he should feel. Harry finds he doesn’t much care where these girls go or who they actually go home with because he’s not genuinely interested in them. (I think the chorus of this song could also hint at Harry expressing possible gender envy, but I’m not going to get into all of that.) 

Verse 2:

In my eyes, I view this second verse as being a montage of different dates/parties/events that Harry had to attend with a female companion. He’s running through different memories and moments in which he was not able to be 100% himself. Maybe we’ll do this again feels like the gentle let down line a person gives when they aren’t actually interested in a second date, tracksuit and a ponytail, you hide the body all that yoga gave you is another lyric that I think could potentially point to possible gender envy, and red wine and a ginger ale, but you would make fun of me for sure seems to showcase a slight lack of confidence. Does he think his drink preferences are traditionally feminine? I’m not sure, but the last line leads me to believe he faced some form of doubt or fear of being judged during these experiences. 

Bridge:

Last but certainly not least, we have a rather important bridge. I think here, Harry has come to terms with who he is; however, the internal battle is not over. Does he feel guilty? Does he feel like he jumped into these heteronormative relationships and possibly lead these girls on? Was he in too deep when he finally realized, “this is not who I am, and this is not what I want” with no way to get out of it? I broke an ankle, karma rules is a painful lyric. He’s accepted who he is, but he’s still hurting. Karma got the last laugh, because despite the realization, he still remains a closeted man who is unable to love who he chooses. And the closing line, you never saw my birthmark, is his final sting, saying: the media told the world I dated all these women. Everyone thinks we were intimate, that I slept around, when in reality, they never even saw my birthmark, the most private parts of me. It was all a farce. 

~

This song has earned a very special place in my heart. As someone who has gone through similar struggles (on a much smaller scale), my heart bleeds for Harry Styles. While I don’t view it as a Larry song like so many others do, I still find it just as important. Harry and his music make me feel safe, proud, and content with being a little freak myself, and I love him dearly for that.

Love Of My Life (Harry’s House) - My analysis

Okay, so I saw a lot of people saying Love Of My Life is a song about Harry and Louis’ break up, but I don’t think it is. So I wrote my analysis of the song. Ps.: I go through all the lyrics so it’s quite long. Bear with me.

“Baby, you were the love of my life, maybe you don’t know what’s lost until you find it” - Harry doesn’t use the term “until you lose it” so basically he just says that he didn’t know he was missing something (the love of his life) until he found him. 

“Take a walk on Sunday through the afternoon, we can always find something for us to do” - Notice that he doesn’t use the word “could” as if he’s saying “when we were together, we could always find something for us to do”, he uses present tense as if saying, “we are together and we can always find something for us to do”.

“We don’t really like what’s on the news but it’s on all the time” - Once again with the present tense. So the person was the love of his life but he’s still with them? I don’t think so. Also, notice as he says he and the person don’t like what’s on the news, meaning Louis and Harry don’t like what shows on the news as related to the stunts, so they don’t like that the stunts are always on the news, but it’s still happening, they can’t do much about it but watch it.

“Take you with me every time I go away, in a hotel using someone else’s name” - Once again (and I’ll keep reminding you since everyone was saying it’s a break up song when it’s not) using the present tense. In this part, it’s like he’s telling Louis he takes him with him every time they’re not together physically. Also, “in a hotel using someone else’s name” we have a list of names allowed to go into Harry’s room in a hotel and I’ll assume they’re all for Louis. Here’s the picture.

“I remember back at Johnny’s place, not the same anymore” - Well, for this part, Snow Patrol’s Johnny McDaid was friends with Harry back in 2013 (I think) and I’ll assume Louis and Harry used to go to his place, but things change, maybe Louis doesn’t go there with him anymore. Summing up, things change, I don’t know everything.

“It’s not what I wanted to leave you behind” - For me, this could be about the time they broke up (somewhere between 2016-2017) that Harry probably tried talking to Louis to understand what was happening to their relationship, why they were sort of falling apart, and the conversation ended in a break up without him meaning to at first. Once again, it’s in the past, so it doesn’t necessarily means that he’s now leaving him behind, or left him behind for good - it just means that they broke up some time along the way, which also doesn’t mean they’re still apart.

“Don’t know where you land when you fly” - This could mean a few things. First, it could mean he doesn’t know what Louis is thinking because he keeps it to himself, so “fly” could mean that his thoughts are flying in his mind. In portuguese, my first language, when we say someone is “flying” it means they’re distracted with their own mind, only paying attention to their own thoughts. Secondly, it could mean that he doesn’t know where Louis goes when they argue, doesn’t know where he goes when he really doesn’t want to be found because he’s in a bad state of mind. Also, this was another reference to Louis as his bird and it fucking hurts.

“It’s unfortunate, just coordinates” - I really don’t know, but I’ll just point out this is literally the only thing other than As It Was lyrics and the Boyfriends’ halfway home lyrics that relate to everything that’s related to You Are Home tweets. This part, only thing that could come to my mind is that all those coordinates Harry used in the YAH webside are places he and Louis traveled to together and now they’re just coordinates. I can’t think of something else. Ouch, this hurt.

“I don’t know you half as well as all my friends” - Maybe Louis doesn’t know (or didn’t use to know) how to talk to Harry about the things that were bothering regarding to their relationship, or maybe he just tells (or used to tell) him superficial things, but went (or goes) for Harry’s friends for advices on how to deal with the situation because he will assume Harry goes to his own friends for advices, so they know what’s on Harry’s mind or what’s bothering him about their relationship that Harry doesn’t tell him.

“I won’t pretend I’m doing everything I can to get to know your creases and your ends. Are they the same?” - He knows their relationship goes through struggles and he knows that Louis keeps a lot to himself (his struggles, his pain), and he feels like maybe he’s not trying hard enough to get Louis to open up so he can know what’s in his mind. Well, what can I say? In all Harry’s songs he’s blaming himself for everything and always apologising, of course he’s gonna think he’s not doing his best when maybe Louis just doesn’t know how to open up and it doesn’t depend on Harry. (Ouch this hurt again). Also, remember Louis’ lyrics “I’m too tired to be tough, just want to be loved by you” meaning he’s the one closing up and trying to look like he’s okay when he feels bad sometimes. And when he goes “are they the same” he could mean are his struggles the same as Harry’s or even are the struggles the same as they used to be the last time Louis told him? What I mean is, imagine they have a conversation about what’s bothering Louis now and that’s done, but then tomorrow Louis is sad or upset again and so Harry doesn’t know if it’s because of the same reason or something else.

And then it just repeats baby, you were the love of my life, maybe you don’t know what’s lost until you find it and we cry ourselves to sleep.

Summing up, no, this is not a break up song. This is not a you were the love of my life and you’re not anymore. This song is love, raw and open. This song shows you that Louis can be the love of his life, things can be incredible, but it still is a relationship and it’s still going to have rough times. This song is Harry saying that he loves him and he wants to work on it, give all he has. He’s the love of his life. He’s all in.

Listen I’m all for Hannibal calling Will Lithuanian nicknames for “sweetheart” like “mylimasis,” but have you considered???

“mano arbatos puodelis”- “my cup of tea”

honestly, if some Lithuanian speaker would be willing to compile a list of possible endearments, complete with literal, figurative, and connotative translations, and notes on how common they are as well as their historical origins, I’d love to get familiar with all the various options available

I’m not an author/artist and haven’t contributed to the fandom by more than leaving kudos/comments to fics, so I hope to be able to give just a little bit to the amazing fandom, that’s been nourishing me at least for a couple of last years. 

First of all, Lithuanian grammar and syntax are pretty different from English, so a lot of things cannot be translated word by word (and that’s why google translations often fail miserably or just make you laugh histerically :) ) Among other things, we have 7 noun cases, so sometimes (but not always) addressing a person a word might take slightly different form than just speaking about them in third person or using them as an object of some action and so on. Also, nouns and adjectives are intrinsically gendered. 

But let’s try to overview a few more common endearments. I’ll indicate when addressing form is different from 3rd person form. Disclaimer: opinions on IRL usage are based on personal exposure, hence in no way gives any reliable statistical info and different perceptions might also be valid. :)

Mylimasis - basically “beloved”. Not very commonly used IRL, but I guess neither is “beloved” (compared to “honey” or “darling”). Also, Hannibal does not really speak like mere mortal commoners, so IMHO it suits his flowery aristocratic speech patterns rather well. Can be used as noun and adjective. [female version: “mylimoji”]

Mano meilė [when directly addressing a person: mano meile] - very literally “my love” and used as (un)commonly as that. But I feel fits Hannibal’s pomp.

Brangusis - basically “darling/dear/precious”. I’d say IRL usage is rather close to those of “darling/dear”. Can be used as noun and adjective. [female version: “brangioji”]

Mielasis - literally “cute/lovely/dear”, but in essence close to “honey/sweetheart”. IRL usage is probably a bit less common than “brangusis”, but not strange. Can be used as noun and adjective. [female version: “mieloji”]

Mažius/mažiukas/mažasis [when directly addressing a person: mažiau/mažiuk/mažasis] - literally “the little one”, but could be approximated to “baby/babe”, however, more on the cute side without sexual connotations. Rather commonly used IRL and does not necessarily relate to actual size of a partner (I have a friend who calls her over 2 meters husband that). [female version: “mažė/mažiukė/mažoji”]

Širdelė [when directly addressing a person: širdele] - literally “little heart”, but in essence close to “sweetheart”, I guess. Not very commonly used IRL, but once in a while you might find a poetic sentimentalist who would call their significant other that. 

While English speakers tend to express their affection with sweet things (sweetheart, honey), Lithuanians usually go more direct way for pet names - by actually using animal names. :D It’s actually really common! Almost on the same level as “darling”. But I guess they are pretty cheesy, and I have a hard time imagining canon Hannibal using them. Nevertheless, some fic scenarios might call for that, so here we go:

Zuikis [when directly addressing a person: zuiki] - literally “rabbit”. I don’t even know which English pet name could be used for approximation in meaning, but it’s rather common for Lithuanians, don’t ask me why, I have no idea. Just an affectionate cute pet name. 

Katinas/katukas/kačiukas [when directly addressing a person: katine/katuk/kačiuk] - literally “male cat/kitten. Just another pretty common animal pet name. 

Meškius [when directly addressing a person: meškiau] - basically “bear/little bear” in a cute way. So I guess it approximates to “Teddy Bear”. (Also a rather common name for Lithuanian mongrel hairy dogs.) Not a very frequent thing to encounter in Lithuanian couples, but not a surprise if you do. [mostly used for male partners]

I’d be glad to expand if anyone had more specific questions/requests. 

Thank you! This is awesome! 

I have two follow up questions (for now): 1, are there any other possible endearments that use the word ‘heart’, sort of like the Italian “Cara Mia” (literally, my heart), that kind of thing? 2, with the animal thing...can you think of a cutesy way for Hannibal to call Will ‘mongoose’ in Lithuanian??

You’re very welcome! ;)

1. To be honest “heart” does not often feature in Lithuanian endearment speech, but we all know Hannibal is not just anybody. One could use “mano širdis” - literally “my heart” [when directly addressing a person: “mano širdie”]. Given Hannibal’s predilection towards anatomy I’d say It’s likely it could be included in his repertoire of pet names. Also, a sort of male version of “širdelė” is possible: “širdukas” [when directly addressing a person: “širduk”]. Although as endearment “širdelė” could be used for any sex, as a noun it’s intrinsically feminine (‘cause “heart” is a feminine noun in Lithuanian). It should be really strange and not very understandable for speakers of non-gendered languages, but that’s the best I can do to explain it in so many words. So “širdukas” is a sort of masculinized version of “širdelė” (“little heart”), it’s probably not an actual word you would find in a dictionary, but its meaning would be perfectly clear to any Lithuanian speaker. And now that I’ve started, I can’t stop imagining Hannibal teasing Will by addressing him “širduk” (in a more lighthearted, fluffy or cracky context), ‘cause the term is extremely cutesy. :D

2. “Mongoose” in Lithuanian is “mangustas” [when directly addressing a person: “mangustai”]. However, since animal based pet names are more often used in their cutesy/little forms, a “little mongoose” would be “mangustėlis/mangustukas” [when directly addressing a person: “mangustėli/mangustuk”]. And frankly this sounds more natural and less strange than just straightforward “mangustas”.

thinking & ranting & randomness

Beware. I will rant. Yes, I know I’m late for commenting on the recent chapter but I’m going to anyways :P

So, I just read chapters 184-195 and holy crap I just noticed that Ren has been like a time bomb.

 First off, we have the whole Ren getting out of control on set,which ultimately makes him a ball of negative emotions. Next, I noticed that Kijima has been pushing him. This is seen when he texts Kyoko and when he asks Ren what her Birthday is. Then freakin’ Sho has to piss him off even more.  So by the time we reach chapter 194 Ren has exploded and so we get the whole sexual harassment and the yada yada. Which also got a bunch of females pissed off.. seriously people go check some forums, there was a lot of fire. Really Rape? That was not going to happen. trust me. 

I don’t condone sexual harassment but since I’ve re-read the chapters I can see that Ren was coming to a boiling point. Kyoko just happens to be there, which is honestly one of the best people he could be with.  Kyoko has been able to keep “him” in check.  We see this in earlier chapters where she stops him from smashing a guy’s head into the wall. She also brings him to his sense on set when he has a grip on Mursame. ( I probably spelled his name wrong but I am lazy to go search it up , so forgive me)

During 195 when Kyoko takes control of the whole situation, did anyone notice how Ren looked! Holy taledo man, it was awesome. At first it was really funny, he looked so incredibly shocked. I laughed. I bet he had this type of scenario in his deepest fantasy of Kyoko.  Oh gosh. Besides that shocked looked, you should see his look afterwords. Dude he has been put under a spell.Here as pic. Look at his face it’s so darling. I’m fangirling right now. LOOK AT HIS EYES! 

This chapter is fanservice but I have to say though, that it is a serious moment in Skip Beat history. Kyoko just freed him from his darkness.Does the new found freedom make it easier to pursue Kyoko and openly love her? Does it mean that he can start down the path of happiness? I know it won’t be easy but I think this is the beginning of Kyoko and Ren getting together.I think in the past two chapters we have see large steps in the RenKyoko relationship. So thank you Nakamura!!@#$#!*(@ I have been waiting for this type of chapter. I have been following this manga for 7 YEARS!!!!!!!! I am a grandma in this fandom!  I’m sure there are others who have been here longer and they can be great grandma but I am a veteran!  I will be here till the end even if it’s another 7 YEARS!!!!!!! 

OH and if you like fanfic go read Bobapeal’s latest Christmas fic. It’s really good and it will help you pass time before the next chapter of Skip Beat is out.

Mo Dao Zu Shi sex scenes and consent: a deep dive

There’s a lot of discourse out there about the MDZS novel and claims that it is “rapey” and has a lot of consent issues.  Now, I’m not the biggest fan of the way MXTX writes sex, and I don’t deny there are problematic elements in them.  But I also feel like people who want to dismiss the entire novel as a result of this or MXTX as a writer are making pretty wild generalizations.  So I want to really examine these scenes and see how objectionable they are.  I’m also going to be talking about translation and how that affects a reader’s perceptions.

There are two sex scenes in the regular novel (i.e. not the bonus extras.) I don’t intend to tackle the extras because they are a lot different in that they are mostly sexual dream fantasies and take place in an established relationship.

Obviously there’s going to be adult content here.  And this is LONG and only the first of THREE posts.  And if you haven’t read the novel I try to explain enough so you can follow along as well.

Keep reading

"SasuSaku's relationship is toxic"

that will always be one of the most ridiculous takes on SasuSaku to me.

The problem with this is, that people use Shippuden as foundation for that statement, when truthfully - they were enemies at that time. Which for some reason gets ignored by a lot of people as seen with the "he tried to kill her" argument, completely disregarding that she tried to do that first.

It was mutual but SS anti's somehow view or try to make it seem as onesided..(= toxic)

This mutuality was also why he didn't consider Sakura to be someone who never tried to cut ties to him. Her actions essentially spoke against her words and even when Sasuke joined to help in the war, she was unsure about having faith in him - believing he had an ulterior motive (which of course, turned out to be true). Much different to many people's belief, she wasn't blinded by her love for Sasuke and tried to give up on him, she just couldn't because deep down she still believed the old Sasuke would still be in there.

Additionally, I think it's funny how a lot of people throw a fit over their relationship going the romantic route as if..Enemies to Lovers has never been a really popular trope in shipping.

Even in something as old as Pride and Prejudice

It's called development, my guys. Which, well, truthfully I'd have loved to see more of post-war but even without, this scene shows all we need to know about how their relationship started.

They didn't start a relationship right after the war or pre Sasuke's redemption journey, instead, they were actually the last couple of their generation to get together.

This scene in itself shows why that is: Sasuke needed time and he made sure Sakura knew that. "You have nothing to do with my crimes", his problems with himself are not a burden for her to bear so instead of involving her in his mess, he tried to find himself first. Which, really - is a mature decision and anything but toxic in a relationship.

"Love yourself first before you love someone else"

Joker x Harley Quinn  (fanfic I’ll never finish)

-Joker and Harley fight. Harley leaves. Henchmen bring her back. Henchmen leave and Joker talks to Harley.

*****FLASHBACK - to the fight that made Harley leave **** 

“You’re so weak! Why do I even keep you around? All you do is mess things up for me!”

Joker yelled, stalking towards her and backhanded her across the cheek.

Anger blinded Harley’s rational thoughts and before she knew it, her open hand had hit him across the face right back. As soon as her slap hit him, all anger disappeared. Like the sound of skin hitting skin had flipped a switch in her mind and her anger was gone, and replacing it was guilt.

“Puddin,” Her mouth dropped open in shock, “I’m so sorry.” Tears filled her eyes and regret filled her stomach.

For a second, Joker eyes seemed almost as shocked as she was and then he blinked, his eyes flashed and fury was the only emotion Harley saw. She kept apologizing as he advanced towards her, his hands grasping onto her neck and cutting off her air supply. He shook her as she cried.

“How dare you!” Joker’s voice was so guttural, so furious, “You mess up my business deal, cheat me out of millions, and then strike me like it’s my fault?”

The tears flooded down Harley’s face as he slammed her head into the wall and stars rose in her vision. Joker pushed her up against the wall, caging her with his body, his arms shook with rage around her neck. His growls were enough to make a lion tremble.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

Harley kept repeating her voice horse from the lack of air. But still she repeated her apology, for her slap for her stupidity, she kept apologizing until all her air was gone and she was just mouthing the words. Still she apologized, black spots appeared in her vision and just as she was about to pass out, Joker let her go.

Gasping for air she didn’t deserve, Harley fell to the floor at his feet. The black in her vision started to clear. Now the only object obscuring her vision was her tears as she continued to cry. Out of the corner of her eye, Harley saw Joker disappear out of the bedroom door. Gunshots sounding in the hallway as his fury raged on. She heard the front door slam a few moments after that.

Harley followed the Joker’s path out of the bedroom door, she almost tripped over a body laying facedown on the floor. A dead henchmen, his blood staining the carpets. Harley bent down, pushing the dead henchmen’s body over and grabbing his large abandoned gun. She held the gun in her hands and walked towards the door. She didn’t deserve to be in this house, didn’t deserve Mr. J. He was right it was her fault, her fault, her fault. Harley reached the front door and tore it open.

“Ms. Quinn,” One of the nameless henchmen spoke, “Remember, Mr. J doesn’t like it when you leave like-“

Harley fired off the weapon behind her, not even looking to see if she hit her target. She opened the front door and ran out of it. The pouring rain cleared her thoughts, woke her up, she walked right into the street. Shooting a driver as they sped towards her and stole their car.

Then, she drove.

***END FLASHBACK***

Harley started to cry again at her memory. Now, she was now seated on the floor of a motel. She didn’t know exactly where she was, somewhere outside of Gotham she supposed. Harley also wasn’t sure how long she had been sitting in the motel room, only that the daylight outside had turned dark. She had driven with blurry vision until she happened upon this motel on the side of the road, bodies littered the floor in the lobby and hallways until Harley had found an empty room. My fault.

Every time they fought, Joker left to get the rest of his anger out by killing everyone he came in contact with. Then he would come back to their bed and hold Harley close to him all night long, in his own way of apologizing. But it wasn’t he who needed to apologize now.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Harley perked up as she heard people running, from how much sound they were making, Harley assumed it was men. And there were a lot of them. From sound alone, Harley figured there were more than ten. Maybe more than twenty. The cops?  The sound of running grew louder and louder, doors now started to slam open. They were in the hallway Harley was in. Harley check the bullets in her gun, she gripped the gun and pointed it at the door.

She heard doors being opened slowly now, she could imagine the police opening the doors as if a wild lion was behind them. Slow, careful not to disrupt the lion. What they didn’t know was this lion was already disturbed. This lion was prepared to pounce.

The feet were finally at Harley’s door, she readied her finger on the trigger of the gun and waited. Maybe this will make me feel better. The door knob turned slowly and the door opened even slower. Suddenly, Harley had a gun pointed at her too. Until the person on the others side of the door realized who they were pointing a gun at.

“Frosty?” Harley felt like smiling. He was in a tux, like always, with a bullet proof vest over it. Behind him were masked henchmen, in weird funny masked that could only be from Mr. J’s mind. Harley’s heart broke. My fault.

“Ms. Quinn, I need you to come back with us. Mr. J is expecting you.” Frost let out a sigh of relief, almost like his life was on the line. Harley’s giggle was hysterical, it probably was.

Harley walked out of the door of her motel room and towards the exit. She climbed into the front seat of a expensive black escalade. Frost and a few henchmen joined her, not looking or talking to her much. Like they were told not too. Frost was making a phone call.

“Boss?” Harley could hear Mr. J’s grumbled reply on the other side, “We got her. Driving back now. Do you want to talk to her?”  

Harley was hopeful for a moment, staring at the phone in Frost’s hand. Trying to hear what was said on the other side. Frost hung up the phone, he started the car, and turned onto the highway as if the phone call had never happened. More tears sprang to her eyes, she turned towards the window of the car so the henchmen couldn’t see.  My fault. My fault. My fault.

OR

“Ms. Quinn?” Frost asked, his eyes down, “Boss wants to talk to you.”

Harley grasped the phone like a lifeline, she wished the henchmen weren’t in the car. One glance at them and they all turned their heads, all but plugged their ears. Frost started the car and turned onto the highway.

“Puddin?” Harley asked in an innocent tone, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to-“

“Come straight to my office when you get home.” He hung up.

The car ride was silent except for Harley’s quick crying breaths.

…

Harley walked toward Joker’s office with only Frost in front of her. Frost opened the door to Mr. J after knocking twice. He walked through the door and she followed him in. Mr. J was seated at his desk, his chair was turned away from the door. As they entered, he turned around. A

“Sit down.” Joker pointed at the seat across from his desk. His anger radiated off of him.

“Puddin, I missed you-“

He stopped her with a hand and pointed at the seat again. Harley sighed and walked to sit in the seat. Joker took a deep breath in and out before he started speaking, his eyes hadn’t left her face. She hadn’t even seen him blink yet.

“Would you like to explain why you didn’t come home?”

…

“You made an oath to me.” Joker placed his hands on either armrest of her chair, caging her in. “You belong to me.”

…

“If you leave again-“ Joker’s lips were an inch away from her.

Harley shook her head immediately, “I won’t.”

“If you do,” His hands clasped around the top of her arms tightly, “this will end very differently.”

****Note: J RESPONDS TO BEING HURT WITH ANGER****

“You belong to me.” Joker said clearly, deadly, “Don’t you remember your oath?”

“Yes, of course I do.” Harley’s eyes stayed locked on his, “I live for you. That’s been true since I met you, it will always be true.”

…

“Are you still mine?” Joker leaned towards her.

“I’ll always be yours.” Harley answered … “You know that, Mr. J.”

…

Joker ran a hand through his hair and walked around the desk until he was stood in front of Harley.

“Now, since daddy is so forgiving. I’m gonna let you sleep on the couch tonight and not the bench outside.” Joker said, leaning close and placing his hands on the armrests of her chair.

“No, puddin.” Harley cried, quickly cupping his face with her hands, “I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. It’s so cold on the couch.”

He tried to twist out of her hands but she held on, running her thumbs over his cheeks softly.

“Get a blanket.” Joker snapped, “Harley, I don’t like to punish you but I can’t just let you walk out like that.”

“I’m so sorry, Mr. J.” Harley brought her face close to his, “I won’t do it again, I promise I won’t. Please, J.” Her lips were a breath against his she moved her arms to wrap around his shoulders, holding him close to her.  

Joker wasn’t backing down, “Enough.” He tore his body out of her hands and slicked back his hair again, “If you don’t stop now, I’m going to make your punishment more severe.”

…

Harley stood up out of her chair and ran her hands down his chest, “How severe, daddy?” She put on her most innocent voice.

“Harley.” He grabbed her hands in a tight grip. “You’re on thin ice. Go away or you’ll be sleeping on the bench outside with one hand missing.”

Harley lowered her eyes in defeat…

She slowly wrapped her arms around his chest, resting her cheek against his heart, hugging him tightly. His arms stayed at his sides.

“I missed you so much.”

…

Harley sat down beside him silently, he didn’t move. His head still in his hands. Harley moved to wrap her arms around his shoulders and he pushed her away.

“Harley,” He growled, “Don’t test my patience.”

“Puddin,” She whispered, “I’m sorry. Please.” She hesitantly wrapped her arm around his shoulder. “It will never happen again, I promise.” She whispered, slowly gently pushing his head onto her shoulder… Harley stroked her fingers through his hair softly, helping him to relax against her.

… He growled into her skin, his head twitched back and forth a few times, and then finally he relaxed. He took a deep breath and let her hold him.

After a long while, … She didn’t know how long they sat like that. Her holding him and apologizing softly. Joker purring and growling against her neck… like his head and his body were at war with one another.

A long time later… Joker pushed off her shoulder and quick as lightning, had her chin in between two of his fingers.

“If you ever leave again,” Joker growled, bringing his face close so she heard every syllable of his threat, “this will end very differently.”

“I won’t.” Harley shook her head as best she could with him holding her face OR Harley’s eyes stayed locked with his, the finality in her promise clear.

Joker took a deep breath. In, out. Then rested his forehead against hers.

OR

Joker stared at her unblinking until the answer in her eyes became clear (???).

“You belong to me.” Joker’s lips brushed her as he talked.

“Forever.” Harley promised.

Harley’s eyes stayed locked with his, the finality in her promise clear.

“I’m sorry, J.” Harley whispered in her most innocent tone, “It won’t ever happen again. I’m so sorry.”

Joker stared at her for a while longer. …

“You’re lucky I’m so forgiving.” He said finally.

Harley smiled, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and hugging him tightly.

“I missed you so much.” She felt tears hit her eyes again.

…

Harley tears had finally ceased around three in the morning. She was curled up on the couch unable to sleep without Joker next to her. …

(???) Even with her eyes closed, she saw a light turn on and a door open.  … She opened her eyes and saw Joker’s silhouette in the light of the open door. He looked at her and seemed to find that her eyes were open.

He snapped his head back and forth, growled, and then rose two fingers and motioned her towards him. Harley was immediately on her feet and running towards him. She stopped in front of him. … Joker cupped a hand underneath her chin and forced her to look at him in the eyes.

“Don’t ever leave again.” Joker demanded slowly so she heard every word … and the threat behind them.

“Never again. I promise, puddin.” She promised desperate for his forgiveness.

“Harley,” He clinched and unclenched his free hand, “I will not tell you this again. This is my final warning. If you walk out-“ He cut himself off squeezing his hand under her chin, closing off her air supply.

Harley couldn’t help the desire that rose in her lower stomach.

“It won’t happen again.” Harley … declared.

Joker held her eyes for one second more and then let her go.

“Get in bed.” He said finally.

“Thank you, puddin.” Harley smiled, walking into the bedroom and climbing in. Joker shut the door, bathing them both in darkness.

…

They both lay still for a moment, Harley knew he was still angry at her. That he wasn’t in the mood to forgive her yet. But she was back in their bed, so that was a good sign. She tried to disguise moving closer to him as trying to find a comfortable spot, she ended up rolled up her side about an inch away from him. Not touching. Harley’s body burned, she wanted to touch him so badly.

… Harley looked up at his face in the darkness… she knew he wasn’t asleep. Usually the only way he could was when she massaged his scalp and body. …

Harley hesitantly, bravely, placed her head on his chest over his heart.

Immediately the Joker pushed her away from him.

“Don’t test me, Harley.” He said, “I’m still mad at you.”

“Yes, sir.” Harley decided to play good, wanting so badly to be back on his good(???) side. She scooted away from him.

A few more minutes passed of silence, Harley didn’t move. She tried to hold back her tears… Joker’s head was snapping back and forth. His growl like an angry lion who hadn’t been fed in days. … Suddenly, his arm grabbed her wrist and pulled her against him.

I love Alina’s sketches of Glam and baby Dee. You can really tell Dee loves his dad so much.🥰🥰🥰

I love Alina’s sketches of Glam and baby Dee. You can really tell Dee loves his dad so much.🥰🥰🥰

Rewatching Metal Family Again And-

Can we just admire how much fucking guts it must have taken Glam to leave his family behind? Like, yeah it was the final straw and they were shitty but for him to essentially just leave with only a handful of items and openly disobey someone who's been abusing and controlling him for ages like...fuck. That's so hard to do especially for someone stuck in the cycle of abuse. And he's just a kid at the time. A kid who had to make a split decision on his future in a matter of seconds...

He had no idea if Ches would help or if he'd even survive out there but he literally made that decision that he'd be better off dead from trying to start a new life from scratch than spending another second in that house.

And he succeeded! Not only did he lead a happy life but he also started his own family, found his own identity and broke the cycle of abuse. He's a loving father and loving partner all without the help of his own blood relatives. Sure, he slips up now and then but he tries so hard to be a good parent and both of his kids absolutely love him,

his wife is a hot biker chick who loves him for exactly who he is,

he has a childhood bestfriend who would move heaven and hell for him and is essentially family,

and he gets to do what he loves for a living I just-

He's so strong I fucking love him and he deserves everything <3