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idk

@shinyadora

So excuse us, while we sing to the sky

Which path should he choose?

The path of the warrior, the path of the scholar, or the path of the artist?

he should wander away and have a picnic while he thinks about what path to choose

Great idea! But where should he have the picnic?

Under the tree, or under the old fort?

By the sea, so he can enjoy the sound of the waves

A lovely choice!

Should he build a sandcastle to pass the time? Or perhaps go fishing?

Perhaps he could collect shells he finds interesting

Sounds fun!

Which shell should he pick up?

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Image

This one

That's not a shell, it's a tiny earpiece.

Should he listen to music? Or to the mysterious pre-recorded message?

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He should give it back to the crab in the largest shell, they thought they had lost their wave-pod and are grateful he found it!

The crab wants to give a gift in return.

Should he accept the gift of power, or the gift of knowledge?

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the gift of friendship :)

Friendship acquired!

Should they celebrate with pizza or ice cream?

The crab friend cannot eat either of those! Let's split a nice seaweed salad instead. :)

So many options!

Should they get tossed salad, wiggly salad, or spiky salad?

Seasar salad

Nothing beats getting it straight from the source

Should they use scissors or claws to cut the seaweed?

What about that sword in the first panel?

The circle is complete.

Through choices, friendship, and salad, he found his way to the path of the warrior. But he won't walk it alone.

Their path is just beginning, but this story is over.

Thank you to everyone who participated!

This is somehow both the epitome and antithesis of "yes, and" and it FASCINATES me

"No, and"

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sending people wikipedia articles is my favorite form of humor. one time a long time friend of mine asked why i was using a different name and acting different i sent him the wikipedia page for DID. ryder just asked me why its 108 degrees in nevada right now and i sent him the wikipedia page for global warming and the season of summer.

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i see you all in the tags going "this is so funny" you better not steal my fucking bit. im copyrighting this joke

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you cant do this to me

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sending people wikipedia articles is my favorite form of humor. one time a long time friend of mine asked why i was using a different name and acting different i sent him the wikipedia page for DID. ryder just asked me why its 108 degrees in nevada right now and i sent him the wikipedia page for global warming and the season of summer.

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i see you all in the tags going "this is so funny" you better not steal my fucking bit. im copyrighting this joke

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you cant do this to me

“Mom, there’s someone under the bed.” You bend down and see your son there instead and he whispers “Mom that’s not me up there!” You take a step back when someone tugs your shirt. You turn, your son is in the closet asking “who are they?” You suddenly hear him calling from downstairs “Mommy?”

You sigh, raising your voice so that all of your sons can hear you. “All right, everyone into the kitchen. Now.” Hearing a shuffle in the attic, you add, “Yes, Duncan, that includes you.”

You don’t see any movement as you go down the stairs, but you’re used to that. You know they’ll all be there by the time you walk through the kitchen door.

As usual, your children have all fitted themselves into the kitchen. The dimensions of the room are a little wobbly with so many of them present, but you’ve long ago learned to ignore how the laws of physics only occasionally apply to them. A host of little faces look up at you anxiously, and you smile gently.

“It’s okay, none of you are in trouble,” you reassure them. They relax - and how astonishing is it, that they trust you so much? You’re so proud of their progress.

One, however, still looks nervous. You beckon him forward, and he comes reluctantly, shoved by his identical older brothers.

“Are you new?” you ask carefully.

He nods, and you drop to one knee. “It’s okay, sweetie,” you tell him firmly. “I love all of my sons, even ones I haven’t met before. Ask your brothers, they’ll tell you.”

“’m here because I heard you were nice,” he says in a tiny voice.

You open your arms, offering a hug but waiting to let him decide whether he wants one. This child must have seen hugs before, because he flings himself into your arms and starts crying. That’s good. Some of your sons are traumatised from what they’ve seen, knowing more slaps than kisses.

Eventually, the sobs dry up, your other kids patiently waiting for your attention again. “Why do we look like this?” he asks, curious.

“Because this is what the first of you looked like - Wilson, where are you?”

A hand raises from the crowd and waves energetically.

“Wilson took on my son’s form to play Child or Double. Calling from downstairs when my son was in bed, getting tucked in when the child I bore was playing out in the garden. Once I figured it out, I hugged him and told him that as far as I was concerned, I now had twins. It took him some time before he believed me.”

Wilson shrugs unrepentantly.

“When my son died, Wilson stayed. It helped, having one of my sons with me while I grieved. Then another of you began to turn up, and I had twins again. Then more. Until now, when I have more of you than will technically fit in my kitchen.” You give your sons a look of motherly disapproval, but they only giggle. They know you don’t mind.

“It’s not like you need to feed us!” calls out one of your bolder sons. Eric, probably. Your newest, unnamed child looks up hesitantly, then steps out of your arms to join his brothers. Lucas might be a nice name, you think idly. You don’t have a Lucas yet.

“That does help,” you admit. You put steel into your next words. “However, there are Rules in this house, and one of them is no messing around at bedtime. I know that bedtime is a traditional time for the Child or Double game, but four of you is pushing it.”

You’d say more, but there’s a knock at your back door. You turn to answer it, knowing that your sons will have evaporated before your fingers grasp the handle, and brace against the cold night air as you pull the door open.

Two identical little girls stand there. One has a bruise on her cheek, and has clearly been crying recently. The other - the other is a Doubler, just like your sons. After this long, you can tell the difference.

“Please,” the Doubler says, and her voice trembles on the word. “Please. She needs somewhere to stay.”

Part of you is shocked, already looking ahead to the potential legal issues. The rest of you is all mother, and you whisk her into the nice warm kitchen and get her a glass of water.

Your son’s bed will be occupied by someone else tonight. You think he’d have been okay with that.

the funniest thing ever just happened to me

im changing my name purely bc i don’t like it and we just told my family like a month ago. i haven’t been home since then but today i got back and my (extremely country) uncle gives me a pat on the back and goes “so i hear you’re my nephew now. proud of you, son” and i have to very gently say i am so so happy to hear that but i am still his niece just with a cooler name. and he throws his hat down on the table and goes “no! but ive been practicing!” so now he is calling me his nephew for fun

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Cancel culture strikes again

No but literally this sucks if real. Like it does and it's worrying

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it is real. it sucks. my immediate reaction was outrage over them killing my favorite bus line. "promotes satanism" my brother in christ it's a fucking joke. polish christians get a grip challenge.

however,

the bus line's response to the controversy over the number was to change 666 to 669. which is some of the most beautiful malicious compliance i have seen in a while. and it makes up for the hope in humanity i lost while reading the above screenshot.

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me a lesbian: haha lesbians get married so fast!
the ghost of Virginia Woolf that lives in my head: because of the epidemic of lesbian separatism women who find an earnest connection with one another may seem to an outsider “moving too fast” when in fact they are so euphoric about making a connection that they funnel more love in passion into a month than straight relationships plug into a year
me: I’m literally smoking a joint can you let me fucking live
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Loyalty to our Lord. Control of our emotions. Honor to fight bravely and uphold the legacy of clan Sakai

That point in a piece of fanfiction where you can tell something embarrassing is about to happen so you start fucking around on tumblr because you’re a huge baby with a crippling overabudance of empathy.

I do this with every media I consume. I pause movies and have to walk around and prepare myself for second-hand embarrassment sometimes.

Me, doing anything else in Stardew Valley: wow, I love this game! It's my favorite!

Me playing Junimo Kart:

I will burn my own house down

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when you like a show: oh cool a new episode!
when you love a show: here it is, the weekly suffering hour

I got your letter and I haven’t read it yet, but I’m going to and… It’s really great to hear your voice… your voicemail voice. Just give me a call. It’s BoJack.