🎧Selfish🎧

Sweet pea and lavender

Reblogging for myself

reblogging for those that follow me that may be starting to move out

An absolute treasure trove of information, here. Rebloging for those who Are contemplating making that leap to independent living. Best of luck to all.

Fantastic resource for people preparing to move out into the world. I’m sticking my #resources tag on this.

losing a friend (for the one that got away) 1/3

part 2 , part 3

@frenchtoastlesbian //personalmessage.blogspot.com // @linguinereid // trista mateer // unknown // richard siken // ocean vuong “on earth we’re briefly gorgeous”// unknown // unknown

I'm burning out. No, fuck that, I'm burnt out. I've lost my yearning for knowledge and my want for experience and life. I can no longer see past this lock down. Therefore I'm stuck in this everlasting purgatory of wanting to better myself and educate myself but with no motivation to do so. Because what's the point. Finishing my degree online to go into a new job online and still feel isolated and alone. When will it end.

Snowy Victorian Houses

I’m????

Oh my God this actually explains so much.

So there’s a known thing in the study of human psychology/sociology/what-have-you where men are known to, on average, rely entirely on their female romantic partner for emotional support. Bonding with other men is done at a more superficial level involving fun group activities and conversations about general subjects but rarely involves actually leaning on other men or being really honest about emotional problems. Men use alcohol to be able to lower their inhibitions enough to expose themselves emotionally to other men, but if you can’t get emotional support unless you’re drunk, you have a problem.

So men need to have a woman in their lives to have anyone they can share their emotional needs and vulnerabilities with. However, since women are not socialized to fear sharing these things, women’s friendships with other women are heavily based on emotional support. If you can’t lean on her when you’re weak, she’s not your friend. To women, what friendship is is someone who listens to all your problems and keeps you company.

So this disconnect men are suffering from is that they think that only a person who is having sex with you will share their emotions and expect support. That’s what a romantic partner does. But women think that’s what a friend does. So women do it for their romantic partners and their friends and expect a male friend to do it for them the same as a female friend would. This fools the male friend into thinking there must be something romantic there when there is not.

This here is an example of patriarchy hurting everyone. Women have a much healthier approach to emotional support – they don’t die when widowed at nearly the rate that widowers die and they don’t suffer emotionally from divorce nearly as much even though they suffer much more financially, and this is because women don’t put all their emotional needs on one person. Women have a support network of other women. But men are trained to never share their emotions except with their wife or girlfriend, because that isn’t manly. So when she dies or leaves them, they have no one to turn to to help with the grief, causing higher rates of death, depression, alcoholism and general awfulness upon losing a romantic partner. 

So men suffer terribly from being trained in this way. But women suffer in that they can’t reach out to male friends for basic friendship. I am not sure any man can comprehend how heartbreaking it is to realize that a guy you thought was your friend was really just trying to get into your pants. Friendship is real. It’s emotional, it’s important to us. We lean on our friends. Knowing that your friend was secretly seething with resentment when you were opening up to him and sharing your problems because he felt like he shouldn’t have to do that kind of emotional work for anyone not having sex with him, and he felt used by you for that reason, is horrible. And the fact that men can’t share emotional needs with other men means that lots of men who can’t get a girlfriend end up turning into horrible misogynistic people who think the world owes them the love of a woman, like it’s a commodity… because no one will die without sex. Masturbation exists. But people will die or suffer deep emotional trauma from having no one they can lean on emotionally. And men who are suffering deep emotional trauma, and have been trained to channel their personal trauma into rage because they can’t share it, become mass shooters, or rapists, or simply horrible misogynists.

The only way to fix this is to teach boys it’s okay to love your friends. It’s okay to share your needs and your problems with your friends. It’s okay to lean on your friends, to hug your friends, to be weak with your friends. Only if this is okay for boys to do with their male friends can this problem be resolved… so men, this one’s on you. Women can’t fix this for you; you don’t listen to us about matters of what it means to be a man. Fix your own shit and teach your brothers and sons and friends that this is okay, or everyone suffers.

The next time a guy says, “What? You don't want to be my friend?” I’ll text him this and then ask if he really wants to be friends or just have another potential girlfriend.

y’all I am living for these analyses where the new way to fight the patriarchy is to teach men to love each other and themselves

Im a communication student and can confirm the above is absolutely 100% accurate and it’s called agentic vs communal friendship theorized by Steven McCornack

This is absolutely un-not-reblogable.

“because no one will die without sex. Masturbation exists. But people will die or suffer deep emotional trauma from having no one they can lean on emotionally.” Best quote ever! I want to tweet this lol

when ur in a really bad mood and one mildly inconvenient thing happens

One time this man approached me in a bar talking in Spanish. So I assumed he was Spanish and we started speaking, we had a whole ass conversation and at some point he was like. So what part of Spain are you from? And I said well I'm Italian actually. What part of Spain are you from? And he was like. I'm Greek.

One time I was in Argentina and I was so tired of trying to speak Spanish because I'm not very good at it lmao so I broke into exasperated English and the retail seller girl quickly understood me and engaged me in conversation. We talked for a while, she introduced me to a makeup brand, and then I decided to buy it. While she was packaging the purchase, she asked me if I were from the US or perhaps the UK and I just said "oh no I'm Brazilian hahah" and she looked me straight in the eyes and said, in clear Portuguese, "I'm Brazilian too"

Funny

concept: I’m in bed listening to how steady your breathing is. You’re passed out and I’m here left in your warm embrace. You rest your body against mine as I trace my fingers against your skin. I kiss your forehead and think back to how it all began. Nothing but happiness radiates off me as I fall sound asleep with you. My darkness found the purest light.

For the longest time I prayed that one day you’d come knock on my door and apologize. Then I realized life isn’t a fairytale and you’re not that kind of person.

I wish lesbians were as easy to find in real life as they are on tumblr

11 FUCKING THOUSAND NOTES ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WHERE ARE YOU ALL COME DATE ME

ok

update: we are dating

update: we are married

update: we knocked up

This is the cutest story on the entirety of Tumblr, I swear to god!!!!!

Update: had a baby together

Baby’s first Christmas

EXCUSE ME WHAT BUSINESS DO YOU HAVE BEING THIS CUTE

Legendary Tumblr story

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

I’m an old straight guy who grew up in an era when same sex marriage was unthinkable. And every time this thread comes around I feel tears welling up at the sweetness of it.

What @katsdom said. 

What @instructor144 said.

What @daddyandhislittleprincess11102 said