Jack
Jack was one of my first Tinder dates and oh what an awkward encounter. I showed up to the restaurant in my thigh high “fuck-me-boots” (as my friends call them) thinking it would be just dinner. They didn’t call them fuck-me-boots for no reason…
I wasn’t hungry. I wasn’t even nervous. I just sat there and we chatted while he ate pho and I sipped on my thai tea. It was casual and I honestly didn’t think the night would continue after dinner. That also could just be my social anxiety kicking in. I honestly started to second guess my boots half way through the date because lemme tell you they are EXTRA as fuck and tbh I really shouldn’t of left the house with them on.
After dinner we stood outside trying to figure out what to do. “Lets take a walk” oh fuck. Are you kidding me???? Do you SEE MY FUCKING BOOTS?????? Okay its fine just suck it up and stop being a little bitch. So we walked…. for a while. I was literally dying I couldn’t wait to get back to the car and go home.
Surprise, surprise the night did not end with me literally wanting to rip my feet off. Let’s cut through the small talk and get to the real part you are here for. We decided to take a drive and while doing so we also decide he would show me the office he works at… I could see his plan. A dark quiet empty office with two hormonal adults in their twenties? Long story short we messed around a little and called it a night.
Fast forward to I’d say maybe a week or two later. He’s texting me talking about wanting to “blow off some steam.” Slyyyyy. I mean I was totally down for a little late night booty call. Girls have needs too okay. So I get to his office wearing leggings, a hoodie, a hat, and my black furry sliders. Oh so sexy am I right? He showed me some stuff he was working on and then we just got down to the nitty gritty.
He was the aggressive type. He was in control and I was down with it. Things were getting intense. I swear I was going to get a rug burn or we would break something. I could definitely not afford to buy his company a new drone or some shit. We were on the floor and he was on top and I was getting close to my peak. Ya girl was getting hit in all the right places. Is that tmi? Too bad its relevant to the story.
I was shaking. My body felt like it was going to explode. It was going to happen. It was my time to shine. It was my moment. It was time to lay back and let my body experience the joys of sex. Right as I was about to literally have my brain explode the most unexpected thing happens.
I got a nice, big, hard slap to the face. Like the timing couldn’t have been worse. You know in movies when a bomb goes off and that loud high pitch eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee noise happens? Literally that was my left ear. I just laid there. My prime time robbed from me and the left side of my face tingly and sore. Did that really just happen? Did he dead ass just slap me across my face as I was about to orgasm? What in the actual fuck. He finished and we cleaned up and put our clothes on. I guess he really had some steam to blow off right?
p.s. I still see him occasionally and he has made up for slapping me don’t worry.
p.s.s I have retired the name “fuck-me-boots” and they are now named “slap-me-boots”
