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Ask Sherlock Hooves

@sherlysthougths / sherlysthougths.tumblr.com

Alright, you have one minute to impress me.... Don't be boring.

I’m 33 and American. This myth is so widespread here I didn’t know the truth until I was TWENTY-NINE. I was literally taught something similar IN COLLEGE—that the Puritans were so reactionary in America as a result of what happened to them in England. And this was in a class about the history of witchcraft accusations and the Salem witch trials. Like, we were taught that they were horrible HERE, but the narrative was still that they faced injustice in England.

This wasn’t a stupid teacher, either. She had her first doctorate and was pursuing a second. Basically everything else I learned in that class checks out. The myth just runs THAT DEEP.

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Yep. :/

Thanks for dumping your trash on other nations, like in all of modern history, England. If you delt with them at home we might have avoided the Evangelical movement here in the states. And before anyone says we need to clean our own house, keep in mind those Puritans basically helped create the first forms of government that we based someone ours off of. You put them here just so you didn't have to deal with them, and they ran amok. Its like taking a rabid dog that has a bad bowl, drop him in your poorer neighbor's house and let it run crazy then say "well they should really learn to take care of their home."

I can only read “dogs” and only see anything in one other. I see nothing in any other.

8/10 but fuck, OW.

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c'mon everyone who got ten is lying please tell me you’re all lying i can’t see shit past the first two

1/10

Take that, teachers who gave me a skeptical look when I said I had trouble reading when they wrote in red marker.

I got 2 right everyone else be lying

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8/10 but it was hard! I’ve always seen colours well though. My optician confirms.

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10 outta 10

10/10. But two of them were guesses XP

This is why I don’t tell 99% people im bisexual

I love how gay people do it too. Just… really? You’re literally saying the same shit to bisexuals that straight people say to you, and you don’t see the hypocrisy? 

If youre biphobic or hate bisexuals, fucking unfollow me, for serious.

^^^

If youre biphobic or hate bisexuals, fucking unfollow me, for serious.

Why is this a thing like really? Homosextual people of ALL beings should understand that you like what you like and if the answer multiple choice then that’s just more love to go around non?

BY REBLOGGING THIS YOU ARE SAYING THAT YOUR BLOG IS COMPLETELY ACCEPTING OF BI FOLKS!!! BISEXUAL PEOPLE ARE PART OF THE LGBT+ COMMUNITY AND IF YOU DISAGREE, PLEASE UNFOLLOW ME

BISEXUAL INDIVIDUALS ARE VALID AND LOVED ON THIS BLOG, PASS IT ON!

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BY REBLOGGING THIS YOU ARE SAYING THAT YOUR BLOG IS COMPLETELY ACCEPTING OF BI FOLKS!!! BISEXUAL PEOPLE ARE PART OF THE LGBT+ COMMUNITY AND IF YOU DISAGREE, PLEASE UNFOLLOW ME

Yeah, if you don’t support bi people, unfollow my blog right fucking now. You’re not welcome here.

To other bi people, we are valid and we are here to stay. Bi people in straight relationships are just as valid as bi people in gay relationships. The likelihood of someone cheating does not depend on their sexuality, it depends on how shitty of a person they are.

Fuck yeah, this why I can’t stand the a majority of the LGBT+ Community. Like mother fucker did you forget what the fucking B in you name stands for?!

If you dislike bi people for just their sexuality and your straight your an asshole. But if you identify as anything but heterosexual and you dislike Bi people you’re a fucking hypocrite and a shame to every person whose ever worked towards making you more accepted in society. You have become the very thing you hate and are in fact worse because you are aware factually how wrong it is!

If you are Bi know you are accepted and appreciated in my blog and if your not know you are treasured no less UNLESS you dislike i people for merely being Bi!

The toxicity is why I had trouble accepting I was Bi-Romantic, and never voiced it. But, I accept all, most especially Bisexuals and Bi-Romantic peeps. You’re always cool with me!

As a bi man dating a wonderful woman, this pisses me off to no end. I will not cheat on my girlfriend cause I also find guys attractive. Though looking objectively at some of these responses from gay men. Maybe the reason they cheated on you, is because of your toxic views about their sexuality and your shitty behavior?

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Food is a right only if it is your private property. You have no right to food that does not belong to you; you have no right to food that you have not purchased or produced.

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Yo shut up

Food isn’t scarce though, at least not everywhere. American grocery stores throw out tons of food every fucking day and aren’t even allowed to give it to the poor

Restaurants and Grocery stores throw out tons of food DAILY and are not allowed to donate it or even take it for themselves.

The amount of food America throws out is actually fucking horrendous. Another reason why I dont have the will to work anywhere near food is because I actually have fucking compassion and would give away what went unused at the end of the day, that action could get me FIRED.

us : people should be able to eat

these clowns: UM ACTUALLY

As someone who has worked in 2 restaurants and currently work in a grocery store in the US, I can attest to this. SO much food just gets fucking tossed.

The only exception I’ve seen is like once a week, maybe less often, our bakery is allowed to donate bread to some charity and usually the bakery tries to give away more than the one person from the charity has room in their car for.

And we have so much food go bad because there’s so much of it, no one buys it. It’s infuriating.

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Casual reminder that Jeff Bezos alone has enough money to SOLVE WORLD HUNGER; and still be fabulously rich. He chooses not to everyday.

Let's also not forget that farmers leave tons and tons of perfectly edible food in their fields every year, because (and I'm not shitting you) it doesn't look sellable. Supermarkets turn away perfectly good fruit and vegetables because they don't have a visual esthetic they think their customers want. They won't even take it and sell it at a discount. If we paid workers a federal wage to take all that discarded food, we would never have a hunger problem in this country ever again. But that would put a 2% tax burden on the rich. So of course that's not an option.

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The Dutch are making moves to make some changes after this outbreak

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That’s the world I want to live in

A relatively simple way to fix the planet, support those most in need. Make everyone pay their fair share. AND make it so we all realize the dream of the future Disney promised us? Yeah let's see how long it takes for the rich and the right to call this undoable and crackpot.

So in Goblin Squad D&D yesterday, our Barbarian had just… the stupidest, DUMBEST, most terrifying, absolutely godlike thing happen to him.

This is a story of numbers, but it’s still beautiful.

We were fighting a dragon.

The dragon is hopping around while the Barbarian is just racing around trying to catch up to her

Dragon finally decides, no, really, fuck specifically THAT ranger and goes hog fucking wild on me (I LIVED!) but holds still long enough for the Barbarian to finally rage and LEAP ONTO HER BACK and go STAB

Dragon sees this and goes, “Oh. Sick.” 

and just goes VERT

Pro: I am not tanking anymore

Con: She instantly moves FOUR HUNDRED FEET STRAIGHT UP INTO THE AIR…. with our  raging Barbarian holding on for dear gottdamn life

One round later, she’s another 160 feet up, still getting stabbed by a Barbarian who has somehow held on, now getting attacked by ballistae and we’re all starting to get CONCERNED

Because if they take that dragon down, that is 560 feet our Barbarian is also falling out of the sky, and he is not attuned to the ONLY THING WE HAVE that can save his fucking life from that height

I’m sitting there doing math, trying to determine if 560′ is enough to kill him outright, silently being very grateful we still have exactly ONE diamond to rez his ass

and the dragon just goes VERT again, ANOTHER four hundred feet in the air

The Barbarian, now finally free from any potential collateral, cackles, as he is at long last, unshackled by the restraints of his conscience.

He has a tattoo, you see, which allows him to cast Fireball once per day

centered on himself

with a save which he autofails

But he is a tiefling.

And this fucker still has 160 hit points by the time it’s done exploding. But the explosion sends him backward as he fails the Athletics check to continue holding on and he begins to fall.

He falls for 3 fucking rounds and we can only watch our friend fall to his certain death.

The DM… has to roll ninety six d6s

let that number sink in for you

NINETY. SIX. D6s. They normally roll with real dice, you can hear the clickety clack through the discord, but  they had to get out a fucking app for this because they do not OWN ninety. fucking. six. d6s.

It comes out to 402 fucking bludgeoning damage he takes on impact as he leaves a Barbarian shaped crater in the center of the forum, 10 feet wide, 5 feet deep, a cloud of dust and broken brick shooting out as he lands.

And do you know what happens next?

Do you know what the fuck we see as the dust settles?

We hear a cough, and a see a thumbs up come out of the crater. 1 hit point left.

402 damage. Raging as he landed, halved to 201. He had 160HP left, it only brought him down to -41, not enough to kill him outright (you have to get equal to negative your max HP), AND HE’S LEVEL 12, which means he has access to Relentless Rage: the first time you’d drop below 0 HP, if it doesn’t outright kill you, you have to roll a Con save of 10 or higher to instead drop to 1 HP. He rolled an 11.

He fell almost a THOUSAND feet from the air off the back of a fucking dragon, took NINETY SIX D6 FALL DAMAGE, AND LIVED.

His arena name lived up to the hubris of this fucking swan dive. All hail ALTANIN, THE UN-FUCKING-BREAKABLE

All hail!

ALL FUCKING HAIL

ALL FUCKING HAIL!

Okay Bernie stans.

I need you all to prepare yourselves to vote for Biden in November.  

I’m not happy about it either.  I wanted Elizabeth Warren to destroy Trump on the debate floor.  I wanted to watch her shatter the glass ceiling.  I wanted student loan forgiveness, Medicare for All, and refugee and immigrant protections.

But I’m not going to get that.  So I am going all in for Biden.

This can no longer be a matter of “well if I don’t get my way THEN I’M NOT VOTING”.  I’d hoped you all learned your lessons four years ago, but from what I’ve seen on social media, that’s not been the case.  Biden is not ideal but he is better than the alternative.  He is a Democrat who will continue Obama’s legacy.  And you have a shot in hell of getting progressive movements like Medicare for All under a blue majority Congress; we do not have that under Trump.  

Biden is more willing to listen to the progressive factions of the Democrat party than Trump is.  We will get shit done under him.    

We cannot survive a second term of Trump.  I need you all to hold your noses, put on your big girl pants, and deal with it.  Prepare to vote for Biden.

Also, I’ve reviewed most of his plans and they are good.  No, they are not as good as Warren’s plans.  But he commits to LGBTQ+ protections, repealing the transgender in the military ban, and his refugee/immigration protections are way better than I expected (he actually has some culpability to the deportations under the Obama administration).

He is a good choice, guys.  Maybe not the best.  But he will get us to where we need to be and is a fucking return to SANITY in the government, which we badly fucking need.

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Two, TWO Supreme Court justices are on the table for the next president, plus all the other federal judges McConnell has been stacking benches with the past three years. That’s Roe v. Wade, and a whole lot else, for the foreseeable future. 

The reality is that we live in a two party system and while I do not want Biden, I am capable of recognizing nuance and shades of gray. If it comes down to Biden, as it very likely may he will not do as much damage as four more years of Trump, and that is an ethical imperative. 

This is also why we all MUST vote down-ticket as well. 

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Biden’s win allows RBG and Stephen Breyer to retire.

Think about that. 

Not voting isn’t a protest. It’s a surrender. If we want change, real change, then we have to drag our country to the left. One. Election. At. A time. It’s not an all-or-nothing scenario. So if it comes down to it, vote for Biden. Get on the bus headed away from fascism and the alt-right. If that bus isn’t heading directly to where we want to go, then we ride it until we have a chance to get on a different bus. Not voting is NOT an option.

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THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS

Vote you mother fuckers. I want Bernie to pull this out and gi against Trump. But I understand I'm probably not going to get that. But I would rather there be a crapy democrat in the White House, than a wannabe dictator man child. I'll vote for Biden if that's what it takes to get Trump out of the office.

IF YOU WANT BERNIE TO GET THE NOMINATION OVER BIDEN

Here’s what you need to do:

Vote for Bernie in your primary

There are still two-thirds of the possible delegates available so it’s not even close to being over yet. A lot of people think voting in the primary doesn’t matter but this is where you determine the direction you want to party to go & if you prefer Bernie over Biden then here’s the following schedule for the primaries:

What the expect & how to prepare

In 2016, there was major flaws with in-person voting in states like Arizona. This election is exactly the same, with states like Texas and California having people in line waiting past midnight LONG after polls were supposed to close. This is blatant voter suppression and is meant to discourage you from voting. If you don’t have mail-in ballot in your state MAKE SURE to prepare for the worst: wear comfortable clothes, bring water, bring snacks, and get ready for whatever fuckery they might try to pull so bring an extra ID. 

If you work on the day of your primary or caucus HERE IS A WEBSITE that allows you to check your state’s laws on time-off voting. This will tell you info on the following:

  • How long your job is required to give you?
  • What exceptions there might be?
  • Whether or not it’s paid time off.
  • If you have to give advance notice.
  • Do you need to show your employer proof of voting?

How to volunteer 

You can also phone bank, text bank, or canvas for Bernie. Even if you’re in a state that already voted you can still do all these things! You ARE allowed to canvas out of your home state. Check your area, there are events happening everywhere or you can host your own. ALSO!!! volunteer as a poll worker if you can

AND!! if you’re fluent in multiple languages you can really help to get the vote out in communities that often get overlooked by campaigns. 

Apathy is our enemy! Please go vote, the future isn’t hopeless! Your vote has power!

Get out there and vote. We can't have another 4 years of Trump, and if Biden is the Dem candidate then the orange julius caesar will be reelected! Vote and demand you get the right to do so!

Mugo and the Goddess for @unicron1133

She’s totally not Celestia. Nope.

Beautiful piece of work by my dear friend, for another good friend of his D&D character. This scene his half orc barbarian has come to pray and thank the goddess Celest for his good fortune and his friends and family.

Meet the Midwesterners

Seriously, here in Texas, to get to the next major city is an hour by plane (which of course means absorbing 5 hours of your day because airports), 3-8 hours by car, or 5-12 hours by Amtrak. If I’m going to be blowing so much daylight anyway, I might as well do it in the lowest-stress way possible. Train stations for the most part don’t have TSA, trains have lovely huge seats in coach like you’d find in first class on a plane, there’s actually good food on the train. Also, the tickets are cheap; I can go from Austin to Dallas for $25, which is less than gas. I’ve about decided to always try to take the train if I can.

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I’m in this post and please please please give us more trains.

As a Texan:

Please for the love of God give us trains. I will 100% take it before planes, cars, etc.

Unless the train station is in downtown Houston. I’ll drive 2 hours if it’s in the suburbs, but I will not go into Houston.

Fuck just Texas, the entire western half of the country is like that. Just to get from one half of my state to the other, takes 3 hours. A rail line would be great, but a monumental feat.

it's 2022. donald trump has died in disgrace days after being impeached and jailed. my chemical romance's new album is coming out the same day as the new spiderverse movie. the lizzo and janelle monaé collab song is blowing up the radio. lil nas x has a verse in it. you and your partner have time and energy for dates after work after jeff bezos' assets have been seized and distributed to the public in the wake of his arrest for keeping employees in unsafe working conditions.

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oh what a life

Like to charge, reblog to cast.

Rations for various RPG Races

[[ Source. Original creator: wats6831. Additional information and images linked under each one. ]]

Universal:

Homemade artisan herb bread, home grown and dried apples and prunes, uncured beef sausage, munster cheese. Made a small bag from cheesecloth and tied it closed.

Discussion thread here.

Dwarf:

Garlic chicken livers, smoked and peppered cheese, spiced pork sausages, hard tack, dried vegetables, dried wild mushrooms.

Discussion thread here.

Elf:

Top left to right: Evereskan Honey Comb, Elven Travel Bread (Amaretto Liquer Cake with custom swirls), Lurien Spring Cheese (goat cheese with garlic, salt, spices and shallots), Delimbyr Vale Smoked Silverfin (Salmon), Honey Spiced Lichen (Kale Chips), and Silverwood Pine Nuts.

Discussion thread here.

Halfling:

From upper left: “Honeytack” Hard tack honey cakes, beef sausage, pork sausage mini links, mini whole wheat toast, cranberry cheddar cheese mini wedge, mini pickles, pumpkin and sunflower seeds, lower right is my homemade “travel cake” muesli with raisins, golden prunes, honey, eggs and cream.

Discussion thread here.

Half-Orc:

Wrapped in cheesecloth and tied in burlap package. Forest strider drumsticks, molasses sweet wheat bread “black strap”, aged Munster, hard boiled eggs, mixed wild nuts.

Discussion thread here.

Orc:

Orcs aren’t known for their great cuisine. Orcs prefer foods that are readily available (whatever can be had by raiding), and portable with little preparation, though they have a few racial delicacies. Toughs strips of lean meat, bones scavenged from recent kills, and dark coarse bread make up the bulk of common orc rations.Fire roasted rothe femur (marrow is a rare treat) [beef femur], Strips of dried meat (of unknown origin) [homemade goose jerky], foraged nuts, only edible by orcs….nut cracker tusks [brazil nuts], coarse black bread, made with whatever grains can be pillaged [black sesame bread], Pungent peppers [Habanero peppers stuffed with smoked fish and olives].

More images here. Discussion thread here.

Gnome:

Pan fried Delimbyr smelt, spiced goat cheese (paprika crusted hand pressed Fontina), Gnome shortbread (savory pistachio), glass travel jar filled with Secomber Red (wine), hard boiled quail eggs packed in rolled oats (to keep safe), dried figs from Calimshan, and Southwood smoked goat sausage (blood sausage).

More images here. Discussion thread here.

Lizardfolk:

Lizardfolk are known to be omnivores, forage for a surprising variety of foods found within the confines of their marshy environs, in this case the Lizard Marsh near Daggerford. Fresh caught boiled Delimbyr Crayfish on wild chives, coastal carrageen moss entrapping estuary brine shrimp (irish moss, dried brine shrimp), Brackish-Berries (blackberries), Blackened Dart-Frog legs (frog legs) on spring sprouts (clover sprouts), roasted bog bugs on a stick!

More images here. Discussion thread here.

Drow:

From top left: Menzoberranzan black truffle rothe cheese (Black Knight Tilsit), Donigarten Moss Snails (Escargot in shallot butter sauce), Blind cave fish caviar in mushroom caps (Lumpfish caviar), faerzress infused duck egg imported from the surface Realms (Century egg), Black velvet ear fungus (Auricularia Black Fungus Mushroom).

More images here. Discussion thread here.

Drow will also eat A Fucking Rock if it’s goth enough

you know what im gonna reblog this to my main as well as my aesthetic blog because this post kicked my ass

Personally I’d probably be getting the elf or half orc meals. Those look freaking delicious. Also I love that the drow bring along a freaking brass wine glass. So pretentious I love it. At least the gnomes keep their wine in a mason jar XP

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Wait, why not?

TL;DR: Tattoos are associated with organized crime in Japan.

Longer explanation: While tattoos in Japan may have originally been considered to be a status symbol and have religious importance (we have accounts of tattooed Japanese people from Chinese diplomats during the Yayoi period, 300BC-300AD), during the Kofun period (300-540AD), they became a tool used to mark criminals, coming to a head in 1720 where full-arm tattoos were used exclusively for ‘minor’ offenses instead of cutting off noses and/or ears.

All of this led to tattoos getting hugely stigmatized. Until fairly recently, the only people you could find who did have tattoos were generally part of the yakuza (Japanese mafia), who often chose hugely elaborate tattoos based off of traditional Japanese art. Here’s a few of them:

Tattoos in Japan are still so controversial that in 2012, the then-mayor of Osaka, Toru Hashimoto, launched a campaign to get companies to get rid of their employees who had visible tattoos that was very well-received, with many companies siding with him.

Many swimming pools and onsen still ban tattooed people for all of this. During the 2019 rugby championship in Japan, the government effectively begged the foreign players and supporters to please cover up in public because people will react badly, and with the 2020 Olympics in Japan, apparently the government has tried to launch an awareness campaign amongst the public that tattoos on foreigners aren’t considered a sign of criminal conduct in their home countries, because the press backlash would be a nightmare.

Athletes: *arrive with tattoo sleeves and openly brandishing it*

The Japanese: “oh my god they just sent us all their murderers”

Well Japan can GTFO it. Sorry but the rest of your world is not your culture, nor does the rest of the world need to cater to you sensitivities. And I know this isn't the populace as a whole. They are not that stupid. This is their government administration THINKING their populace is that stupid. The people of Japan understand that the rest of the world doesn't have the same stigma with tattoos. I went to high school with a pair of immigrant siblings and they were more interested in what tattoos meant to us. No matter where you go in the world, the government always seams to think it's people are idiots and need to be sheltered.

Commission for @sherlysthougths of their OC Aria (no not that one) in EQG style. Thank a lot!

As always, please don’t copy, steal, plagiarize, or otherwise use without permission.

A bit of art from the very talented Bevin. My Pathfinder sorceress Aria as a teen aged student of Canterlot high. Still such a sassy little brat.