electric stoves aren’t real btw they’re placebo stoves. your food cooks because of the placebo effect

yeah no its just a bunch of LEDs that turn red, it only boils water because you expect the water to boil

Hey you guys want to see an actively hilarious bonsai tree?

(source)

wheres he going……

I reblogged this like…ten minutes ago. How did you do that

This is absolutely delightful, and would have been the bonsai related apex of my year if it weren’t for the fact that earlier today, while googling what to do about my very very strong baby ficus boy literally cracking his pot into four pieces overnight with the sheer vigor of his roots, I discovered another actively hilarious bonsai tree.

You… you guys wanna see it?

source

If someone manages to trick 35 different people into thinking they’re dating, I think it should not only not be illegal, but rewarded by a public medal of some kind

what was he even arrested for

For his own protection

my ex gf showed me for the first time that a woman can choose not to shave and it can be totally fine and normal. she encouraged me to stop shaving. and then when MY hair grew in dark and coarse unlike her baby fine blonde hair she started in with "well, it's different when it's THAT visible". so here's a reminder, that it doesn't matter if your body hair is blonde and fine or coarse and dark or anything in between, whatever you feel most comfortable doing with YOUR body hair is extremely valid and extremely sexy!

We bought Mountain Dew flavored lip balm and now we just keep saying, "Bro, I need some gamer fuel," and kissing each other.

This isn't a cute relationship post. "We" are four grown men who are supposed to be working right now.

Love wins

so let me get this straight u made me a cookie?

oh u eated it

A good thread on whether “queer” is a slur and if it should be used or not.

“If I am unashamed of being queer, you do not get to give that word BACK to the fuckwits who made it a slur.”

you do not get to give that word BACK to the fuckwits who made it a slur

EVERYBODY WHO CAME OUT BEFORE YOU HAS TAKEN THE ROCKS AND BOTTLES AND MADE THEM INTO SHIELDS AND WINDCHIMES

Holy motherfucking shit. Don’t fucking come at me about Queer is a slur. I FUCKING KNOW IT IS. It was hurled at me like a fucking spear all through my youth. I know it’s a god damn slur. And it’s mine. You don’t get to take it away from me because you can’t take also away the scars it gave me while I was standing in front of my younger queer siblings in this community. 

always, always reblog this one.

If my enemy swings a sword at me and I take that sword away from them, it’s my sword now. And the person telling me I can’t use it because it belongs to my enemy and I have to give it back to them sounds quite a bit like an enemy themselves.

^^ god that analogy

what we’re not gonna do is slander tatiana maslany’s good name because of m*rvel’s lazy and bad production quality that queen did not play more characters on orphan black than the rest of the cast put together to then be let down by us as well

Tatiana Maslany is one of the greatest actresses of her generation and she deserves better.

when girls like horses we call them ‘horse girls’ and mock them for their bond with giant nightmare leg-finger creatures

but if boys like horses we call them ‘future cowboys’ and ‘rugged outdoors men’

I’m just saying, I’ve met a lot more horse girls than horse boys so when the dystopic breakdown of society hits us, it’s not going to be roving bands of young men on horseback (they don’t know how to ride, they haven’t B O N D ED)

it will be Kelly from elementary school and her band of fifty midwest girls in pink cowgirl boots who have come for your resources

Wanna know a fun fact?

When they were filming Lord of the Rings, they needed A LOT of extras to be able to ride horses into battle. They couldn’t find nearly enough men with horses/ riding skills, so they hired just like a crap ton of women who were expert riders, slapped some beards on ‘em, and called it good. The VAST majority of the riders in that film are horse girls. Horse girls win battles.

Horse girls win battles.

sun meets moon (twitter)

anyways i just ate dirt

my mom is starting her seeds for the garden already by jump starting them in the house. it’s friday night and i’m home alone having a good time and i see a bunch of these on a baking tray.

and i’m like “ooh, brownie bites!” and ended up with a mouthful of peat and tomato zygote and misery

little kids r so funny when presented with any new information like theres this girl I teach who has two moms and a sister and I was like "wow your family is all girls! that's so funny, if my husband and I had a boy, we'd be all boys haha!" And she was shocked that two boys could get married like honey did you think gay marriage was a girls only event

@officialbabayaga this is so fucking funny i had to share

every day i get a little madder about the ‘dream job’ narrative… all i want is to have a job that benefits society somewhat, doesn’t abuse me, and lets me live a happy life outside of my job lol. jobs should not be (and arguably can’t be) cosmic destinies and identities

can’t wait until people start claiming to be shadowbanned on this site and we collectively get to inform them that there’s no algorithm and their posts just suck

There absolutely is shadow banning.

It really is real, I had to write to the staff to get un-shadow banned.

If they undid it, that was spaghetti code, not a shadow ban. See: this post

See this complete incompetence is why I'm on this site

what a time to be alive during Tumblr’s “edgy” phase

Jesus Christ it got worse

playing spot the newcomer is easy because they’re the mfs who censor everything

“unalive” “k!ll” you can be free here. loosen up

i dont know how to break this to you but saying the word kill will not influence that

I've got another wild surprise for you about how Tumblr works.