Aye, love. Love!

ME: hold up. you see that? train's been through here FRIEND: how can you tell ME: tracks. they're not fresh, maybe 60, 80 years old FRIEND: no chance it'll come back, then ME: don't be so sure. That's well within their lifespan... and they're highly territorial

in 2015 I needed a job really bad for reasons not worth getting into. i was living in ohio for like 6 months & i just applied at every place within a 30 minute drive from me and i got a call from the local Game Stop mere minutes after submitting the online app, which was obviously a red flag but I wasn’t in the position to be picky.

so they tell me when to show up for orientation & I get there the day-of but the store is closed & locked. i text the manager & he says back “oh yeah. i manage two Game Stops and open them alternate days.”

apparently the Game Stop I originally applied to is open Mondays Wednesdays Fridays and the other one is open Sundays Tuesdays Thursdays Saturdays.

They’re 15 minutes apart. I don’t ask whether it would make sense to just have one store locally that is open daily, bc maybe the guy knows something I don’t.

So I get to the other Game Stop and walk in and it seems like there’s no one working there. There’s just a single woman in there wearing an ankle length leather trench coat. She didn’t greet me when I came in & she’s just browsing.

After ten minutes I ask her if she’s seen any employees and she’s like “oh I’m an employee.” She’s not wearing a name tag on the trench coat.

I tell her I’m here for training and she tells me the manager hasn’t come in yet. “he falls asleep playing xbox all the time but if he’s on live we can try pinging him to wake him up.”

I play Xbox and that absolutely doesn’t sound like a thing you can do in the way she’s describing it but once again maybe she knows something I don’t.

I ask if we have an Xbox that we can use to “ping” him and she says “yeah the one in the back we play on.”

She has an English accent by the way, a very specific & posh one which usually wouldn’t be relevant but we’ll get there.

So before she leads me to the Xbox-in-the-back she goes “oh damn. our internet has actually been down all morning, I forgot. We need to call the provider and have them come out and fix it. Can you do that?”

Can I call an unnamed internet provider and schedule them to come do service at a business where I don’t even technically work yet? Idk. She gives me their number and I call them and they put me on hold.

People are walking in and she’s not greeting them. She keeps browsing and people assume like I did that she’s another customer so they’re coming up to the counter where I’m on hold to ask me for help, and then I have to say I can’t help them and to ask the woman in the trenchcoat, and then she says “we can’t sell you anything. internet’s down.”

this goes on for 30 minutes and every time the store is empty she’s chatting at me and I’m on hold and then a man walks in the door and he says “sorry I fell asleep on live again haahaahaa” so this is the manager and the minute she starts speaking to him she no longer has an English accent which has me confused because it did not sound fake.

It was regionally specific and very natural.

the manager asks what I’m doing and I say I’m on hold with the internet provider and he gives me a thumbs up and walks to the back.

so I ask how long she’s lived in the U.S. and say I’m always interested in the way people can sometimes go in and out of accents and she says “oh I’m American. he asked me to stop doing the accent so I only do it when he’s not here.”

Suddenly I wonder what I’m doing here and I tell her I need to leave and I give no excuse but at this point I don’t feel like I need one? She said okay! See you later.

The manager didn’t contact me and that night I got offered some other retail job I jumped on.

Three months later the Game Stop manager texts me and asks if I can cover a shift in an hour and I say back “I don’t think I work there? I left an hour into my training. And we never spoke again.” And he texts back “hahahaha right on.”

And you may think wow, what a strange experience that all was but recently I have spoken to friends who did work at Game Stop and when I tell them this story they don’t even blink. Nothing I say surprises them. I was at the average Game Stop

big issue with linear time is that when there are a few minutes until some event and they aren't enough minutes to do anything with, you just lose those minutes. I think you should be able to save them for later and then combine them into a chunk of leftover time that you get to use at the end of the day, like bonus hours.

i support women's neutrals. i support when women just stand there and do nothing

farcille isn't "toxic yuri." nothing remotely toxic about them, they both treat each other with a great deal of care and affection and respect. just because marcille is willing to do forbidden necromancy and arguably cannibalism for her wife doesn't make her toxic that's just what you do for a woman with broad shoulders

Wait is this true?? We’ve just been actively lied to by anatomical diagrams this whole time?

this is true of pretty much all internal anatomy, because the real situation is sort of like if you stuffed a bunch of water balloons of different shapes, connected by tubes, into a bag, itd be really hard to tell whats going on! so you make things more orderly when you represent them, and the connections and lengths and stuff are correct. like the former image is what you get if you cut it out of someone's body and arrange it neatly (and also, if their system wasnt aberrant somehow, but most people's bodies are aberrant somehow. so what they show you is more of like an average of everyone's weird aberrations)

Reblog to change someone's perception

it's the way they simply mention marcille's eyelashes breaking off when she was petrified and ryoko kui bothering to NOT line the eyelashes in her left eye in every pannel she appears after in that chapter

like ???

Unidentified protist. Quite the hyper one. 

unrestrained summer fun

so ive thought this was the funniest thing since i was 15 and it pops up in my head constantly, but in Not Being American i have come to realise over the years that 1. the beginning is lyrics from a real country song and 2. the astronaut attempted murder was real. nothing in here is made up

japhet looking grizzled for @genderdotcom. happy birthday :)

imagine you're some guy and you're going through the woods one day and you stumble upon a house and the people who live there just give you free food and eventually let you inside and it's like nothing you've ever seen before and the people are so nice and loving towards you and then one day they decide to never let you leave again, steal your balls, and give you a stupid fucking hair cut

my name is croutons and this is my story

My aunt-in-law told me there was a gift for me under a sieve on the porch and it was THIS

Wait wait wait, in some countries the "first floor" refers to the one above the "ground floor?" Why would the first not be interchangeable with the ground? Literally the first floor built and first floor you enter into? Why would anyone decide "first floor" should be the name of the next one up in the air

ground floor is 0, first floor is above 0

The floor numbered zero would still be the "first" in every sense of the word "first" though.

Furthermore why would the ground floor ever be called zero at all? It is a floor. It has a floor. "Zero floors" implies no building at all or a bottomless pit. If there is a literal floor in the structure that you stand on then that is one floor, floor number one. You don't typically begin reading "page zero" of a book. You dont count one penny as zero money. A thing that exists is thing number 1 at minimum. That's how numbers fundamentally work in the very fabric of our universe. 😠

Ha I wonder how many strokes the most complex Chinese character has like maybe eightee-

Has a Chinese son, names him bèng-dá, and he hates me

My beloved son 䨻龘 just trying to write his name in kindergarten

HAPPY 413 time for my yearly tradition of being too lazy to think of an Epic Composition and instead doing a silly crossover pic instead

bonus labru doodle under cut:

I was just grocery shopping and for a while I was in line behind the peak possible combination of parent and child, here is my 1 minute recreation from memory