Ahoj

tragic: plot point that got you interested in a piece of media is not nearly as prominent as the fandom led you to believe

guy who has ibuprofen: I have ibuprofen if you need it btw

Lowkey he is hot as fuck

I want to watch an emergency responder procedural that starts off as normal with improbable disasters every week, but as the series goes on the characters become increasingly aware of how statistically unlikely their local rate of disaster has become, and the country and civilians react accordingly. mass exodus of the rich, influx of meteorologists and other relevant scientists, a local doomsday cult flourishes... the emergency responders are still responding to their emergencies but the show has slipped sideways from straight procedural to scifi as the disasters have to keep ramping up to top the previous disasters. like by the end of season two they're battling an alien invasion, an archaeologist has uncovered an ancient cursed artefact in the catacombs under the town hall and absolutely everyone has ptsd

On the day of Dick Cheney’s death, I’m thinking about a lot of horrible consequences of his actions, but I’m also thinking about Lauren Hough telling Dick Cheney to waterboard her “if it makes him feel better” when she repaired his cable.

guy who installs an adblocker and forgets about it and lives in a beautiful world where online ads have become much less frequent

lalala world so beautiful advertisements so extinct (opens website on mobile)AAAAAH!!!!!!! OH GOD MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!!

rot in piss dick boy

i love this new gen of pop stars so much

an absolutely humungous update they just keep getting better

I think this needs an important addendum:

Not only did Billie Eilish donate $11.5M, she also called out a room full of billionaires, including Mark Zuckerberg, directly to their faces, saying "If you’re a billionaire, why are you a billionaire? No hate, but, yeah, give your money away, shorties."

The $11.5M she's donating is about 1/4 if her net worth. Imagine if a billionaire did that? If Mark Zuckerberg donated 1/4 of his net worth, it would be about $55 BILLION... and he's still have over $100 billion left.

And, yet, unsurprisingly, people are mad at Billie Eilish for what she said and not at the billionaires for hoarding all the money and resources

I am constantly thinking about this

This mild Wikipedia sentence is like the understatement of all time

Here are some crazy grasshopper mouse facts for those who are not familiar with the most badass mouse species on the planet

- They are primarily carnivorous, and their diet is made up of not only bugs but also snakes, lizards and other mice.

- They hunt like true predators, slowly stalking and creeping up on their prey before ambushing them. They will sometimes let out a screech as they attack.

- Like wolves, they howl to establish territory and have a specially developed throat to produce louder vocalizations. They will stand up on their hind legs and throw their head back to howl- a sound that can be heard from 100 meters away!

- Grasshopper mouse behavior is linked to lunar cycles and they are more active during a full moon.

- These mice have been hunting bark scorpions and evolving alongside them for so long that they’ve evolved a mutation where scorpion venom that is lethal to other animals is converted into a painkiller in the grasshopper mouse’s body.

me and the boys have a couple of chains wrapped around the sword in the stone hooked up to mikes toyota tundra gonna pull that fucker out like a tooth.

Me and the boys misunderstood the arcane nature of the stone and now the Toyota is king of England

In Romeo and Juliet, Mercutio called Tybalt "Prince of Cats" because there was a book, popular at the time, with a cat prince named Tybalt in it. He was making a pop culture reference. Therefore, I move, that in a modern Romeo and Juliet retelling, Tybalt should be named Garfield.

There are truly very few forces in the world as strong as the inertia of staying up way too late doing fuckall

When I walk into the mall and see Christmas decorations up the day after Halloween, I feel the same way Hamlet did when his mom married his annoying uncle so shortly after his father’s death.

Thrift, thrift, Horatio! the Halloween Mars Bars/Did coldly furnish forth the Christmas stockings

Sometimes knowing spoilers for shows is more fun cause u get to spend the show being like how the fuck does that even end up happening ..

​i wish this was in my cart and not someone else’s

you can just take it from their cart. its not their possession if they haven't bought it yet

if i were thrift shopping and you put your hands into my cart to take a unique handpicked item i was intending to purchase i would break your legs

Oh my god the fucking Onion