They say Irish people are great storytellers. You know, the old cliche. But I’ve loved story in every form since I was a kid, originally books and then I got involved in theater and then film and television, but for me it’s always been the emotion of the story. Emotion is the key for me. If I don’t feel altered by the story then it hasn’t worked for me as a performer and as a viewer. - Cillian Murphy
A very happy birthday my dear @bethwoodvilles !
[ MASTERLIST ]
SUMMARY: Tommy Shelby has done many terrible things, but only one keeps him up at night – you.
REQUEST: “HAVE AN IDEA inspired by a song Heartless by The Weeknd and boy oh boy, imagine you’re a former very deadly assassin try to quit, in love with Tommy, he cheated on you with Grace, heartbroken and numb, he have a job for you, begged not to but he leave you no choice, broke your trust even more, you ask him to meet at a place where you have the hostage, make Tommy watch you kill the guy with a knife (omg im very sorry) and Tommy knows that you’re gone for good and that makes him sick, and the image of you bloody from head to toe will hunt him everywhere as a reminder of how much he broke you. There would be so mush angsty and i will like bust my heart out ”
AUTHOR’S NOTE: This is unusual for me because as you know I love happy endings. But even I like some angst from time to time. I’ve changed few things in the plot (the person who had requested this agreed to it). So, basically, I didn’t make the Reader a deadly assassin because: 1) idk I can’t write such characters good enough (I’m sorry 😭), but also 2) I think it’s even more heartbreaking the way it is. I’ve also changed the ending a little bit. In general, I really liked writing this story because I personally don’t think Tommy’s a good person (despite my undying love towards him) and I loved to explore his darker side. I feel like he’s always using other people to get what he wants – even the ones he loves / cares for 💔
TRIGGER WARNING: violence, mentions of sexual violence
WARNING: English is my second language.
WORD COUNT: 1,840
I cried more than I would like to admit 🥲
Request: Hi there! may I request a jealous drunken confession starring Thomas Shelby and the reader please? maybe they’re both in love with each other but she decided to gives up pursuing him because she sees his interest in Grace and thinking she has no chance? so instead she started opening herself to other men?
Requested by @elia-the-bibliophile
Thomas Shelby x Reader
Word Count: 2.4
Warning: Language, mention of alcohol
A/n: I was gonna make this longer but then I didn’t have the motivation to so I think I’ll just make this two parts. Plus I already know what I want to happen in the next part. The last part of the prompt I didn’t include in this but I definetyl will in the second and I can’t wait to write it.
Spending her evening in the Garrison wasn’t Y/n’s original plan for the night. Sulking and drinking were both tasks that could be done in the comfort of her own home where there would be no one to see the pain in her eyes. But Ada was as stubborn as the rest of her family and refused to listen to any excuses that fell from the woman’s lips as she dragged her to the pub. So, there Y/n sat in a corner booth, wedged between a few other women from the betting shop, they were celebrating something, but she didn’t care to ask what. Ada had long since disappeared, she always did, leaving her friend alone.
The chatter around her and the intoxicating fumes of the alcohol did little to occupy her thoughts as her eyes wandered around the room. They danced across the open space until they landed on a certain someone. Someone who’s eyes would never land on her.
There he was, Thomas Shelby, in all his fucking glory. A smile spread his lips as he said something to Grace, who was pouring him a glass that had to hold whiskey. She laughed at whatever had come out of his mouth and smiled as she handed the glass over. Those who didn’t know Tommy would think it was a normal interaction between a man and a barmaid. All men flirted with women in pubs, but Tommy wasn’t all men. He most certainly wasn’t once he came home from France. The man his family had once known, who Y/n had known, had almost disappeared. He rarely smiled and became, at times, more selfish then his father could ever be. And the Grace came into the picture.
Chiefs kiss 💋
Summary: When Tommy can’t choose between Y/n or Grace, Y/n decides for him, leaving him for London to raise her unborn child somewhere they’ll be loved. Living with Ada, she believes her life is only getting better, the sun shining brighter. But like everything in life, that must come to an end.
Thomas Shelby x Female!Reader
Word Count: 1.9k
Warnings: Little bit of angst, smoking, alcohol, fluff at the end.
A/n: This is shorter than I expected but it’s got a happy ending that everyone was asking for. I tried to make it longer but I couldn’t add much more because I am shockingly satisfied with it. It’s a little unrealistic in my opinion b/c I think they would have never even seen each other again, but this isn’t real life so it doesn’t matter. But people from Tommy’s past always have a way of coming back into his life like with Grace and the mention of Greta. But anyway, I hope you guys enjoy the last part of this series. Sorry it took so long to write.
From the second floor of the restaurant, Tommy watched as families gathered around tables and friends wished each other a happy holiday. That had once been how his holiday season had gone… a long time ago. Once upon a time, the Shelbys spent the holiday season together, usually in the same house, with warm smiles on their faces. That hadn’t been reality in a long time.
Happiness was always short lives for Thomas Shelby, something he was just starting to figure out, and it seemed he’d completely run out. Selfish acts had caused his family to run for the hills after his sketchy business deals nearly got them all killed. It was a miracle that Michael and Ada even talked to him, but his cousin needed an excuse to get away from Polly and Ada needed something to occupy her time. If it weren’t for his money, he was sure neither of them would spare him a glance, he couldn’t blame them.
I admit, I may have cried more than once while reading this one, it’s so good yet so sad ❤️🥲
Summary: Y/n never thought she’d take a job as a barmaid, but she had to do what she had to do. Fleeing from a mob in Aberdeen, she was willing to do anything to live a peaceful life. And if that meant working for the Shelby’s then so be it. Life was normal until the mob decided to make an appearance in Birmingham, leading Tommy start to believe Y/n wasn’t exactly who she said she was.
Thomas Shelby x reader
Word Count: 2.3k
Warnings: language, violence, angst
A/N: I’m considering doing a third part for this, I don’t know why. I’m not sure what I would do but that’s only if you guys want me to. I hope to have a few headcanons out this week, so be looking for those. And I’ll be closing requests sometime this week.
God only knows how long Y/n sat in misery, tears staining her cheeks. No one cared to look down the alleyway to see a teary-eyed girl, crumpled against between the buildings. They’d all seen it before. For one reason or another, those on the street had caught girls with red puffy eyes, using the alley to shield them from the world. So, there Y/n sat, the only one feeling sorry for her was herself. No one cared about her problems, they all had their own.
The waterworks eventually stopped, their creator dehydrated and tired, and Y/n made her way home, tired of the filth surrounding her. The sun was starting to set and wind blew violently through the streets, a warning of an upcoming storm. She gave no mind to the weather, eyes to the ground, as the events of the last 24 hours played on repeat in her head. Looking back, there was little that could’ve been done to prevent any of it. If she’d been honest from the beginning about her life in Scotland, Tommy wouldn’t trust her just as he didn’t at that moment. Nothing could save her from that outcome. Truth nor lies could bring her peace.
Rain pounded the ground before she was halfway home. Those still on the street set a quicker pace, trying to keep from getting soaked, using newspapers and coats to shield themselves. Not Y/n, though. No, she let the water drowned out her surroundings, soaking her hair and clothes. There was no reason to rush home as it was.
Even miserable, she couldn’t help but smile when a long-forgotten memory resurfaced.
It was years ago, in Aberdeen, right after Roger had taken over his father’s company and all his time was spent at his office. The man had finally been able to find time to escape the clutches of business and out of the blue took Y/n on a picnic. When he wanted, Roger could be a romantic, a side few got to see, it was his best side. Up a hill, they went, near a pond surrounded by willows. The two watched ducks swim between reeds as they munched on their food until rain fell from the dangerously dark clouds above.
A shriek left Y/n’s lips when it started to come down in buckets. “We’ll never make it to the car unscathed,” she shouted and tried to pick up their plates.
Roger was already on his feet, love in his eyes. “Then how ‘bout ya dance with me?” A hand extended to his partner.
“I’d love to.” A bright smile on her lips as she took his hand, using him to help her up.
Only fools in love would dance in the rain, but neither cared how foolish they looked. Lovers rarely cared about anything but each other, the title of fool never crossed their mind. They danced, without music, to the beat of the rain. In that moment, they were the only two in the world, their problems washed away in the rain that.
If only there was someone to dance with her on the streets of Small Heath. Take away her pain and love her like a fool. Spin her around, step to the memory of any waltz that came to mind. But all alone she stood, soaked to the bone, as she trudged home. There was no love in this rainstorm, only misery.
In the safety of her home, Y/n didn’t bother to rid herself of her wet clothes. They were like a second skin at that point. She’s lost the chill feeling that set in during rain, numb to everything but her aching heart. Like a lost dog, she wandered around the house, seeking nothing in particular. Walking through the kitchen, she opened the fridge, nothing caught her eyes so she shut the door. In the parlor, all the books had already been read and there was never anything interesting on the radio. Her bedroom held nothing of interest. She wasn’t tired, didn’t want to change her clothes, didn’t want to do anything. She couldn’t sit in fear that her sorrows would drown her.
Like a ghost, she was on a loop, cycling through the three rooms. Each time, hoping something would catch her eye, pull her in. Nothing ever did.
And then there came a bang at the door.
Violent and demanding, again and again someone hit the wood. That was enough to pull her out of the trance she’d been in. Eyes wide in fear, Y/n stood in the threshold between the kitchen and parlor, uncertain if she should approach the door. First, she assumed it was merely thunder that struck the street outside, but it didn’t let up. Bang after bang, it continued. It was no thunder. It was a person, she had concluded, but there were no voices, no traces of who could be on the other side. She was certain that if it was someone she knew they would make themselves known.
Before she could make a move, a brutal force caused the door to swing open, hitting the wall on the other side. A scream was lodged in her throat as her eyes locked with the man who stood where the door had been. Tall and muscular, his green eyes glowed in rage. A smile that could have been friendly in a different light made him look like a predator after capturing its prey. Swallowing down her scream, Y/n realized how much like prey she looked. Cornered, small, pale, alone.
The perfect meal.
“No wonder Roger would kill for you,” the man snickered, eyes scanning her body. A shaky breath parted her lips, wishing she could curl up in a ball. The stranger’s intent was unclear, but she knew it wasn’t friendly.
Hands shaking, Y/n clasped them together, intertwining her fingers. “Whatever Roger did, it’s doesn’t involve me.” The words, meant to be confident and strong, came out meek and earned a laugh from her intruder.
He moved from the door, taking in his new surrounding. “I don’t believe that’s how that works, darling.” In the blink of an eye, he stood before her. Damn his long legs. Y/n sucked in a breath, urging her body to move, react. It failed her, doing nothing. “Roger will know better next time.” A rough hand grasped her jaw and pulled her close, a bruise already forming from the force. “And he will not forget this.”
Neither would Y/n when the man walked out the door, his name never learned, as her body shook, blood running down her cheek. Dazed, she made her way to the bathroom. A glance at the mirror in front of her, she saw the bruises that littered her skin from being thrown around the room, cuts from knives or rings. Y/n was no helpless girl, Roger taught her how to defend herself, but she was no match for the giant that had done all that. She was a mouse compared to that man.
There was no winning that fight.
Y/n didn’t tell Roger, didn’t bother calling picking up the phone. She cleaned herself up, wiping the dry blood from her damaged skin, and threw her torn clothes in the corner of the bathroom. It was better to pretend the assault had never happened than let Roger back into her life. Seeing him once for a few fleeting moments was good enough for her. There was no need to give him an excuse to stay around.
So, for a few days, Y/n stayed holed up in her apartment. There was enough food in the fridge to last her a while and enough money saved up to last her a few month’s rent. There was no need to search for a job when she looked like the apples at the fruit stand people never bought.
Peace, or what was closest to it, settled over her as Y/n spent her time baking and reading. Anything to distract her. But that couldn’t last, now could it? Not when the telephone in the parlor rang and she foolishly picked it up.
“Hello.”
“You need to come pick up your paycheck,” Harry told her, no kindness in his voice. Tommy clearly hadn’t kept his mouth shut about what he thought she was. A backstabber.
She sighed and played with the hem of her apron. “Can’t someone drop it off?” Her question was answered with a ‘no’. “Why not?”
“Tommy said you have to pick it up yourself.”
The line fell silent before another word could be said. Y/n groaned at the thought of walking through those pub doors again. She was smart enough to know that the whole Shelby family would probably be there to greet her, shove money in her hands, and tell her get the fuck out of Birmingham.
“What a fucking week,” she muttered as a single tear rolled down her cheek. She didn’t want to leave. Not because of some misunderstanding.
Clean clothes paired with freshly done hair, Y/n left her house to retrieve her paycheck. The walk was stressful, she wore a hat to conceal what her hair couldn’t, but she feared it wasn’t enough. There were no prying eyes, but that didn’t mean she didn’t feel watched, ashamed from even stepping out the front door.
Finally upon her destination, she stared at the doors. A lamb to the slaughter, that’s what she felt like. She’d been kicked one too many times while down to feel like a lion. Like any animal that could stand upon another in victory. She was the field the mouse that ran from the hawk. The fly that flew straight into the spider’s web. The lamb that couldn’t escape slaughter. With all the courage she could muster, that being an ounce, Y/n took a deep breath and entered the pub, trying to forget about the lamb.
All conversations died when she stepped foot in the room, all eyes turned to her. There was no way she could meet anyone’s eyes, not when she knew what they thought of her. Tommy was against the bar, more focused on his drink than her, while his family threw looks of disgust at her. Not that she blamed any of them.
“I’m here for my paycheck.”
Polly rolled her eyes from where she sat at a booth with Esme. “Don’t know why you’d want to step foot in here now that we know what you are.”
“I asked her here, Pol,” Tommy told his aunt as he lite a cigarette. That earned him a groan from her, she was tired of his behavior when it came to women.
“I just want my paycheck,” she announced to the room. “Give it to me and I’ll leave. You’ll never have to-”
“Why?” Tommy interrupted her.
“Why what?”
“Why’d you do it? Why’d you talk to Roger?”
It was hard to bite back her laughter, a bit of it spilling between her teeth and out her lips. “He talked to me, Tommy, not that you cared to ask though. Him and I used to be something, but that was a long time ago. But I guess I don’t owe you any explanation as to why I was talking with him because you never cared to ask before,” she sneered and brushed a strand of hair away from her face.
Though it was a small piece, it was enough to expose a bruised patch of skin on her jaw and upper cheek. Once full of disgust, everyone’s eyes softened. Perhaps it was a mixture of her bitter words and her damaged appearance, but it shifted the mood of the room.
Tommy’s blue orbs, once ice-cold, warmed with concern. He stepped towards her out of instinct, “Who did this to you?” he asked, hand hovering by her cheek. He was desperate to touch her, feel her warm skin, and melt into her, but fear of rejection kept him from her.
She shrugged, the shame from the walk over boiled away from anger. “Doesn’t matter,” Y/n waved the question off. “It’s not your problem anymore.”
“Like hell it isn’t!” He threw his arms in the air, any thought of his family being in the room vanished. “Who did this?” He demanded.
Y/n couldn’t meet his eyes, instead, taking in the pub’s walls she’d looked at almost every day. They hadn’t changed, but they didn’t have eyes that could gaze into the soul, nor lips that could crush the heart. Walls, that’s all they were. Nothing but wood, nails, and paint. They could do no harm.
Perhaps the shame hadn’t gone away.
It sat dormant for a while as she felt like a lion, but once again she had become the mouse. The answer wasn’t one to fear, it was rather simple actually, but that wasn’t what kept it from her tongue. More than anything, she feared Tommy’s reaction. With the flip of a switch he could become a violent monster and she didn’t want to see that. She didn’t want to know the things he would do, the things he was capable of.
“Y/n,” his voice soft like honey pulled her gaze to him. She said nothing as his arms wrapped around her in an embrace. It was only minutes ago that he wanted nothing to do with her. “I should’ve talked to you instead of sent you away,” he whispered in her ear, hand rubbing her back. “I’m sorry for that. Now, please-” Tommy pulled away to see her face, the bruise on her jaw along with other small cuts clearly visible. “-tell me who did this?”
Not one for displays of affections, Y/n wanted to relish in the embrace for as long as she could. There was no telling when the man would do something like that again. But she knew that answer had to be given. “Someone Roger fucked over,” she muttered. “I don’t know his name, but none of that matters.”
A gentle finger lifted her chin, softer than the one that’d bruised her days before. “It does matter. Now, let’s get you a cup of tea and we’ll talk like we should have in the first place.”
*~~*~~*
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Thomas Shelby Taglist: @captivatedbycillianmurphy
Summary: She will only ever be seen as a child in Tommy’s eyes. That’s what she gets for being Finn’s friend. No matter, her feelings for the man refuse to fade. Finn tried to help her, tried to get something out of his brother, but the man was unbreakable. Y/n decides that maybe it’s time to move and the best way to do that is to avoid him. If she can’t see him then he can’t bother her, right? Wrong. You can’t avoid Thomas Shelby.
Request: Helloo can i request an imagine where the reader is way younger than tommy(maybe around finn’s age or between him or john)works for him and has a major crush on him but she’s vv insecure bc of her age, grace has already died, and because it’s very hard to figure out if tommy likes her or not, so she gets sad bc she really wants to be with him and have children other than his own
Thomas Shelby x Reader
Word Count: 3.1k
Warnings: Lanuage, age gap
A/N: I’m pretty happy with how this turned out. Sure, it didn’t turn out exactly how I wanted it to, but it’s pretty good either way. Oneshot requests are still closed and I wish you guys would respect that. It’s not all of you, just some. I want to have all my oneshot requests done before I open requests back up and I can’t do that if people keep sending them in.
Life was hard.
That was a common fact that everyone knew. Y/n didn’t believe herself to be any the wiser for knowing that one simple thing. It just made life easier to deal with. When the market was out of apples or her seamstress ruined her favorite dress, she simply remembered that life is hard. That meant that not everything was supposed to go her way. She didn’t fret over anything, knowing it wasn’t worth it. Life was hard and if it was meant to happen then it would happen.
However, she was young and naive, and those words didn’t always mean as much as they should have.
Her life became extremely hard when she started working for Thomas Shelby. Y/n had been a friend of his youngest brother’s, Finn, since they were children. The two would often be found creating havoc throughout the streets of Small Heath along with the other children they’d befriended. Y/n never spent much time at the Shebly household, though. Her mother always wanted her home in time for supper with enough time to get chores done before the table was set.
Finn and Y/n were close, not as close as Finn and Isiah were, but they were close nonetheless. And Finn cared enough to get her a job at his family’s company when she was old enough. It was a sweet offer that she couldn’t pass up. Her parents didn’t bring in much money and what was brought in her father usually spent on beer. So with shaking hands, she entered Thomas Shelby’s office and accepted the job.
She wasn’t given an easy job, being one of Tommy’s secretaries, but not for the reason she would have thought.
“Don’t tell me it’s still bothering you,” Finn rolled his eyes, pouring himself a glass of whiskey. The two sat across from each other in his family’s private room at the Garrison. It was one of Y/n’s days off and it had been a slow day for Finn so he decided the two needed a drink. Being early in the day, just around noon, the pub was empty except for them.
Y/n leaned back in her chair, a sigh escaping her lips. “Yeah, I mean I see him every day. What am I supposed to do, forget about him?”
Her friend nodded and handed her a drink.
She scoffed, taking the drink. Looking down at the amber liquid, she said, “You just don’t get it, Finn. I know I don’t stand a chance. Fuck, every woman in fucking Small Heath has fallen for your brother. I’m not special and I know that, but that doesn’t change how I feel.”
“God, you really like him, don’t you?” he shook his head, a smile on his lips.
Y/n nodded, taking a sip of her drink. She hated how she felt. She had always been an emotional person. Not everything made her cry, but it wasn’t hard to have tears prick her eyes. She hated being confronted or yelled at because the tears always showed up and didn’t know when to take their leave. And that didn’t change when she started to feel something towards her employer. Those feelings were always present and could never leave her alone. Y/n tried her best to keep it from interfering with her work, but it was hard when the man was always around her.
Y/n hated that she loved, not liked, Thomas Shelby.
“Yeah, I do,” she mumbled more to herself than Finn.
At first, she hadn’t even realized she was falling for the man. But over time, Finn started to notice something was off. He had known her long enough to know when something was wrong and something was definitely wrong. Y/n would have thought that he would be upset with her for liking his brother, but he simply laughed. Honestly, if she was in his position, she would have to. Since then, Finn went out of his way to tease her about it.
“I could probably talk to him for you,” Finn offered, giving her a small encouraging smile.
Y/n shook her head. “I don’t need you to do that, Finn. It’s my problem, not yours.” There was a short pause while she sipped at her whiskey. “I can barely talk to him on my own, it wouldn’t be worth having you do anything.”
He laughed, “Did you ever think that it’s him and not you? Tommy is shit at communicating with people, doesn’t matter who it is. And have you seen the way he looks at you?”
“He has only ever seen me as a child,” she scoffed. “And he lets me know every day.”
“You know he’s not good with feelings, right?”
Y/n rolled her eyes. Sometimes she wished she was as distant when it came to emotions as the man she loved. It would probably make life miserable, but not as miserable as she was at the moment. “What about Grace, uh? He still loves her. And what about Charlie? Tommy seems to be content with what he has.”
Finn leaned forward, looking his friend dead in the eye. “Grace was everything he was looking for in a woman, but that doesn’t make it love. She betrayed him and didn’t do much for Tommy but give him a son. That’s it. He’s moved on.” He shifted in his seat. “Tommy deserves someone real and Charlie deserves a mother. I hate to say this, but I hope it’d be you. You care a lot about Tommy and his wellbeing and if he can’t see that then fuck him.”
Maybe that was true, maybe it wasn’t. Y/n had no clue, but she hoped that there was truth to what Finn had said. She hoped that something would happen. It was stupid, she felt like a school girl all over again, waiting for her crush to make a move. She just hoped that there was some truth to those words, maybe then she stood a chance.
*~~*~~*
A few days later, Finn had found himself over at Tommy’s house, helping him look over plans for a new stable. John and Arthur were supposed to be there, but they both had family matters to deal with. It didn’t matter, though, as the work was small and gave more time for drinking.
Sitting in one of the house’s many sitting rooms, Finn leaned back in his chair while he watched his brother fetch a bottle of whiskey. The conversation he’d had with Y/n days earlier was still at the front of his mind. He felt bad for her, for the position she was stuck in. Finn knew all too well how hard it was to fall for someone and he remembered Y/n telling him almost the same thing he had told her the other day. He wanted to do something for her, help her out any way he could, but what was he to do? There was little that could be done when it came to his cold, distant brother. Few could get through to him and even fewer could read what he was thinking. But Finn was certain of one thing, the way Tommy looked at Y/n. It was more loving than how he had once looked at Grace. It wasn’t lust, it was love. It was more than just one emotion. It was happiness, love, lust. Anything that sparked joy, that is what his eyes showed when he looked at Y/n. Finn knew his brother felt something for his friend and he was going to get him to admit it.
Tommy reappeared with a full bottle of whiskey and poured himself and his brother a glass. He handed one to Finn before taking a seat across from him. “Are you ready to go to the races?”
Finn looked over at him and shrugged. It wasn’t like he hadn’t been before. “I suppose.”
“There shouldn’t be any problems this time,” his brother commented. Mentioning the races gave the youngest Shelby an idea. “Could Y/n come then?”
Tommy raised a brow, sipping at his drink. “Why?” his voice was flat, not exposing anything.
“Why not? She’s never been and if it’s supposed to be calm then I don’t see why not,” he explained.
“No.”
Finn frowned and rolled his eyes. “Come on Tommy, why?”
The older brother sighed in frustration. “Because she’s never been and she would just be a distraction for you. Y/n’s practically a child as it is, she’d just get in the way.”
“She the same age as I am! Why can I go but she can’t?”
“Because this is family business and you’re family!” Tommy almost shouted at him. “Y/n probably wouldn’t want to be around a bunch of Peaky Blinders as it is.”
A laugh escaped the younger brother’s lips causing Tommy to frown and set his glass down. “Are you blind or something?” Finn asked, laughing. “Are you? Do you not see that she likes you? It’s very fucking obvious! The fucking king would even notice! Not to mention, you seem to feel the same way. So, why don’t you invite her and make a date out of it?”
Tommy rolled his eyes and decided to stare out the window. He was silent for a long while, Finn sitting restless opposite of him. “She’ll get over it. They always do.”
Finn sighed in defeat. He wasn’t quite sure what he was trying to accomplish but it wasn’t going to happen. Nothing was going to happen. Thomas Shelby was a brick wall, that was how Finn could best describe him. A brick wall that nothing could penetrate. You could throw things over it, but more often than not, everyone fell short.
Now, what was he going to tell Y/n? He tried, he really did, but there was no breaking Thomas Shelby. He was a selfish bastard that only cared about his own wellbeing. Sure, he’d tell people everything he did was for them, but it was nothing but a lie. He only ever cared about himself.
*~~*~~*
It had been a few weeks since Finn and Y/n had talked in the Garrison and things with Tommy hadn’t improved at all. In fact, they had somehow gotten worse. She wasn’t sure what had happened, but the man was more distant than normal. But only towards her. He never called her into his office to go over paperwork like he used to, instead asking for Lizzie. And he did his best to keep her out of things. Everything she used to be a part of, she was shut out of.
Y/n tired to think nothing of it at first. Tommy was a strange man and his mood changed with the wind. It wasn’t worth it to read into anything. But then there came a point when she had enough and wanted nothing more than to confront Tommy. She told Finn about it but he simply told her to leave it alone, that it wasn’t worth bringing up to his brother, so she didn’t.
Instead, with all the newfound time on her hands, she was given time to rethink her life. She no longer wanted to be hung up on a man who would never love her back. Why waste her time when there were plenty of men who wanted her? Y/n laughed thinking about all the times she had refused men’s advances because she thought that Tommy would come around. Foolish. Fucking stupid. She was wasting her life and she just couldn’t do that any longer.
So, she wasn’t going to.
Y/n then started to go on dates, they were boring, but it was better than sitting at home, feeling sorry for herself. Some of them worked in the factories, covering dust, and others were businessmen that wanted nothing to do with Small Heath. It was too poor for them, too dirty, too this, too that. It always made her wonder why they wanted anything to do with her as she was a great example of what came from Small Heath. No matter how many dates she went on, though, she found nothing she liked. But she just had to wait it out, the right one would come.
She was only 19, she had time to find someone and settle down. But there was only one man she wanted to do that with.
In the back of her mind, she still had feelings for Tommy, but if she never spoke of them, then she believed they weren’t real. He no longer caused her problems and was only apart of her work life. And as Tommy started to distance himself from her in the office, she decided to do the same. It would help her move on because being hung up on that man would be the death of her if she didn’t.
Putting her finished paperwork in a file, Y/n placed it in a bin on her desk for Tommy to look at later. She stood from her chair, placing a few files on Lizzie’s desk for her to go over the next day and started to clean her own. The door to Tommy’s office opened, but she didn’t hear it close, telling her he was lurking in the doorway, something he was known to do.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” he stated.
Y/n shrugged, not bothering to look up at him. “Only because you have.”
He was silent for a second, searching his pockets for his pack of cigarettes. Once found, he dragged it between his lips before placing it between them and liting a match. “It’s nothing personal, Y/n. Just business.”
She scoffed, searching for her bracelet that had fallen off earlier in the day. She thought it landed in one of her drawers, but they were both empty. “Oh, yeah, I figured,” she spat. “Everythings always about business to you.”
Try as he might, Tommy couldn’t fool her. Y/n knew what it was like to not be welcome. To be pushed away. Most of her life, her father wanted nothing to do with her and he often did what Tommy was doing now. Without saying anything, he would just leave her out of things and when she was in the room, he would keep her out of the conversation. The girl was used to it at home, but she didn’t like the treatment at work. And not from someone she cared about.
“I’m glad you understand.”
Y/n rolled her eyes and finally looked up at him. “You’re glad I understand? Understand what? That you’re a fucking arsehole? Yeah, I’m glad I understand that.”
“Y/n I-” he was cut off before he could say anything more.
“I’ve been avoiding you because you’ve been avoiding me. And I know Finn talked to you, I’m not stupid and that boy is shit at keeping secrets! So, how about you just tell me how you feel instead of keeping me from my work? I’d rather know the truth than be treated like shit!”
Tommy didn’t say anything, he just stood there, blank face and all. It was hard to read him, but Y/n didn’t even bother, if he couldn’t give her an answer then she wanted nothing to do with him.
“Forget it,” she mumbled and grabbed her coat off the hook. Shrugging it on, she headed for the door, leaving Tommy standing in the doorway of his office.
The man let out a sigh once he saw her slip out the office door. Pushing himself off the door, he went after her. He didn’t know what he was going to say as he wasn’t good at expressing his emotions, but he couldn’t let her leave like that. He’d seen what pushing her away had done, Y/n was miserable yet she pretended to be cheerful and happy. It broke his heart that he had caused that and Finn made sure he knew it.
“Y/n wait,” he jogged after her once on the street.
She sighed, turning around as he came to a stop. “What now? You want to tell me it’s childish to be upset over this? That it’s just fucking life? What Tommy?”
He shook his head. “No, no. None of that. I just…” He let out a sigh. This was one conversation he should have thought through first. “I like you I do. Fuck, I might even love you, but I can’t risk it. Not with what happened to Grace, not with what’s happened to everyone around me. I can’t do that to you.”
“You can’t do that, but you forget it’s not just your choice. Everyone in your life has chosen to be there no matter what happens,” she told him, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’m Finn’s friend, I work for you, so no matter what I’m at risk. So don’t give me that bullshit.”
“I don’t want to lose you, Y/n,” he sighed, a look of defeat in his eyes. “I would rather see you sitting at your desk, alive, then dying in my arms somewhere down the road.”
Y/n laughed, giving him a small smile. Tommy raised a brow at the action, unsure what caused such a reaction. “Life happens, Tommy. We can’t predict it and we can rarely change it. It’s not worth fretting over especially when you’re not in control. But I know how I feel,” she told him. “I love you and I’ve tried not to, but it doesn’t work like that. I love you, Tommy, and I could see a life with you, but if you can’t see that then fine. Just tell me and you never have to hear about it again.”
Tommy took a drag of his cigarette, processing her words. He looked around, distracting himself with the people on the street. Was he ready to risk it? Was he ready to willingly put his heart on his sleeve for a woman again? He wanted a life with Y/n, she was smart, beautiful, and caring. Tommy could honestly see himself with her and maybe down the road, they would have a few kids. “Come one.”
He tugged on her arm and started walking away. Y/n quickly fell in step beside him. Looking over at him, she asked, “Where are we going?”
“To dinner and I promise I’ll stop pushing you away if you do the same.”
A smile lite up Y/n’s face. She honestly didn’t think she’d get through to him, but the man was full of surprises. She knew that it would take Tommy time to adjust to being in a relationship, she understood that, but she was willing to wait.
*~~*~~*
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Thomas Shelby x Reader
A/n- Definitely listened to the series 5 trailer song a hundred times by now lol
Warnings- SMUT/NSFW, Angst
“One more time…..”
He uttered the words softly, his lips so close to the corner of hers that she swore she could taste the whiskey on his breath. She couldn’t believe that after everything, after she’d spent years hoping, they, she, was being reduced to that; one more time. Y/n couldn’t tell what emotion Thomas had meant behind his statement, if it was regret or a coldness that he’d never employed with her, but she did know that every thread in her being hated it. The thought of everything she blindly hoped for, everything she thought she’d seen between them, being proven as nowt was killing her. How could he do this to her? How could he promise her that he wasn’t marrying Lizzie, only to show up at her doorstep two months later and say something else?
being looked at this way when you’ve disappointed daddy 🥺
“you’ve not only disappointed me, but you’ve shamed the shelby name. arthur thinks i should kill ya to save us the trouble of repairing our reputation. but i’ve got something better.”
“what is it?”
“i’m gonna put you over my knee and remind you of what happens to little dolls who don’t do what they’re told.”
I— 😱🥴
Summary: Your soulmates initials appear on your skin, on you're eighteenth birthday. Finding them is the hard part or so Tommy Shelby thought? Warnings: 18+ in some places. The war has happend even though dates don't add up, don't come for me! A/N: This is my first step into Peaky Blinders/Tommy Shelby writing, I'm usually aNiall Horan/OT4 writerso this blog is fairly empty but I have a lot of ideas so please leave me feedback! I plan to update weekly (uni work allowing).
Behind The Scenes Of Peaky Blinders Season 4 With Cillian Murphy
[ MASTERLIST ]
SUMMARY: You’ve always been around and he’s been taking you for granted. You are an Angel and Tommy Shelby is the Devil.
AUTHOR’S NOTE: That summary is cringey… I suck at summaries, I’m sorry. I wrote a whole damn fic just because of that scene where Tommy gets shot at the end of Season One… I know, I’m crazy… 😣 Also, I don’t hate Ada or anything like that – I hope you won’t think so after reading this 😅
TRIGGER WARNING: death
WARNING: English is my second language.
WORD COUNT: 3,480 (quite a lot for a fic written for one particular scene)
Tommy Shelby (BBC Peaky Blinders) - Credit if using
Summary: When the reader suffers yet another miscarriage, Tommy is there for her. Time helps them heal, but there’s always a little reminder of what they’ve lost.
Warnings: Detailed descriptions of miscarriage, grief, blood , sadness and pain.
Author’s note: I Think this is one of the angstiest fics I’ve ever written and I do think that I should put a disclaimer out there that if any of the warnings that I wrote up there tigger you, please don't read ahead.
·
A sharp pain awoke Y/n in a particularly warm summer night. Having been too familiar, more than anyone would like to be, with the particular pain she was feeling, she wasted no time in sitting up and getting out of bed, barely granting her significantly stained sheets a glance before she rushed to the bathroom, where the pains became more and more severe. She must have been spotting for hours before the pain woke her up.
Tommy was still sleeping on his side of the bed and for a reason Y/n didn’t want to make a sound. She carefully closed the bathroom door and took a few more steps until another wave of pain flowed through her body. Placing her hand over her mouth to buff the whimpers her throat couldn’t stop from escaping into her mouth, the pain increased. She began to feel blood quickly dripping down her legs but she couldn’t bring herself to look down, instead looking up at the small chandelier hanging from the bathroom’s ceiling as she took big breaths and tears prickled at the corners of her eyes.
It couldn’t be happening again. But it was. Y/n confirmed it when she saw the amount of blood that had pooled under her, a minuscule silhouette in violent contrast with the pearly white tiles. She couldn’t handle it then and let out a pained sob at the sight. Her legs trembled and she let herself fall to the cold hard floor. She could hear the violent thud her contact with the floor caused ringing through the bathroom’s walls as she rested her head against the tub and began sobbing silently. Suddenly the pain that woke her up, the one that she had to buffer out mere seconds ago felt like nothing. She wanted it to hurt more so it matched what the sight of the blood caused her to feel.
She then heard an array of hurried footsteps that stopped for a second in front of the door. Three soft knocks ran through the bathroom followed by Tommy’s voice calling Y/n’s name. Y/n couldn’t answer. She didn’t want to be alone, but at the same time she didn’t want anyone else to see.
“I’m coming in, Y/n” Tommy’s voice ran again and Y/n realized she didn’t want to be alone when she didn’t protest against it, not even when he gave her a few seconds to do so before turning the knob and pushing the door open.
He was by Y/n’s side in a trice. Color drained from his cheeks when he saw the blood before he crouched next to her and began rubbing her back soothingly with one hand as the other one went to the bathtub faucet.
“It won’t be necessary, love” she remembered telling him when he suggested for his aunt to go and stay with her when he left to London on a business trip a week ago “I have a good feeling about this one and I think it’s a boy”. She remembered the feeling that erupted inside her when he came back and nothing bad had happened, foolishly thinking that if nothing had happened by then nothing could happen at all.
The recollection caused her sobs to become louder, composing the most harrowing melody with the sound of the hot water filling the bathtub.
“Let it all out, Love” Tommy suggested before engulfing Y/n in a hug, his hand still rubbing circles on her back.
Y/n sank into his embrace and clung to him as if she was clinging to dear life. Her tears soaking through tommy’s cotton shirt until he felt his skin damp broke his heart. But instead of crying he continued to hold Y/n, telling her how much he loved her until the bath was full. He then helped her up, out of her stained silk night gown and into the warm water. After pressing a kiss to her forehead, he grabbed a towel and carefully picked up the promise that laid on the floor as if it was made of glass before leaving the bathroom with it in hands.
By then Y/n felt she had no more tears. Her face and throat ached. But a few more tears did roll down her face when she began scrubbing the blood from her inner thighs.
After that everything became blurry, her head airy and nauseous. Brief flashes of Tommy joining her in the bath, then carrying her to another room. Frances taking with her the bloody sheets, a doctor shaking his head sorrowfully at a mournful looking Tommy, a young toddler with her hair and tommy’s eyes, laughing, Tommy crying at the end of the bed and then darkness.
She woke up the next day with a headache, Tommy was sitting at the end of the bed and immediately turned to look at her when she stirred. Again he was by her side in a trice, taking her hand in his, looking at her with bloodshot eyes into her puffy ones.
“I’m so sorry, love” Y/n croaked out, her voice raspy, traces of the unfortunate previous night evident in it.
Tommy quickly hushed her “ey, It’s not your fault”
Y/n’s eyes began watering again “But I was so sure”
“I know” he said, his own voice breaking as he got in bed next to her
“we can try again” he murmured into her ear as he pulled her closer to him.
“I don’t know if I can take it, Tom. A bit of me dies each time” she mumbled burying herself into his chest. “I don’t think I can have children”
“it’s alright, love” he whispered pressing a kiss to her forehead “I’ve got you”
“Can we buy delphiniums?” she remembered asking him just before she fell into a deep slumber and out of consciousness, she did so for two days. Tommy only woke her up sporadically when she needed to take the tablets the doctor had prescribed.
On the third day, she woke up with Tommy’s arms around her, she took a minute to observe his face, even as he slept he looked restless. She didn’t want to wake him, but she couldn’t bear to be in bed a minute longer. Her whole body felt sore as she carefully got out of his grasp and attempted to get up, but as soon as her feet hit the hardwood floors it seemed like she forgot how to walk. Her body screaming at her for even attempting. The sigh that escaped her lips at her effort, as small and quiet as it was, arouse Tommy.
“Don’t get up, love” he said in a worried raspy morning voice getting up and walking around the bed so he was in front of her “what do you need?”
“I can’t bear to be in this bed any longer, Tommy” she sniffed.
“Where do you want to go?” he said in a tender voice accepting her unwillingness to stay in bed.
“Can you take me to the garden?”
Color drained from Tommy’s face once again before he nodded softly and helped Y/n down the stairs after making a detour to the nursery to get a small ornate wooden box.
The morning air was crisp, uncharacteristic of a July morning. Y/n wouldn’t have preferred it any other way. It felt like a million of tiny cold hands soothing her warm taut skin. She stood for a moment just taking it in, the small box in her hands as Tommy went to get a shovel. The ghost of a smile painted her lips when she saw him walking back towards her, with the shovel in one hand and a delphinium plant on the other.
The pair then walked to a secluded part of their garden that most visitors didn’t get to see. After helping Y/n kneel down on the grass, Tommy began digging a hole next to the other two plants that lived in that part of their garden. A yellow rose and a lavender. Y/n’s fingers began tracing the carvings of the wooden box as she watched her husband dig. She could swear a few tears fell into the dirt before he turned to her telling her it was deep enough.
Together they set the box, in the bottom before putting the delphinium plant on top and covering it up with dirt. Y/n never minded the feeling of dirt on her hands, but she was tired of burying ghostly promises. They sat in front of it for a while until hunger called them to the kitchen where Tommy prepared some mint tea.
Months passed turning grieving weeks into days and then just moments. By then Tommy had familiarized himself with the things that transported Y/n to that dreadful night and avoided them as much as possible just like she had done with the ones that did the same to him.
Y/n for instance couldn't bare to wear white nightgowns to sleep anymore and Tommy couldn't stand the smell of mint tea.
One December afternoon as Y/n was visiting one of the orphanages the Shelby’s funded, to see if everything was running smoothly, she found a small toy horse on a small bed next to the window. She picked it up and as she observed it carefully she remembered when she walked into the nursery to find Tommy crying a few months’ prior, a small horse just like the one Y/n just had found, clutched tightly in his hands. She felt tears welling up in her eyes, it was the first time she saw him crying after that dreadful July night.
“Are you alright, Miss?”
Y/n turned around with a jump and saw a small girl dressed in a yellow dress. Her hair was just as curly as Y/n's and her eyes were as pulchritudinous as Tommy’s as she looked at Y/n with a curious gaze.
“Yeah” Y/n smiled wiping her tears “is this yours?” she then asked looking at the girl as she handed her the horse.
“Yes, Her name is Rose!”
·
note : i recommend listening to “less and less” by matt maltese - it’s beautiful and really just captures some things that i want to keep in the story.
this is part two of answer me
warnings : angst, pining, heartbreak, a little bit of fluff, bad coping mechanisms, pain, memories, running away from problems, small bit of fluff.
word count : 4641 (please shut up nononono ew)
summary : she’s moving on, right? she’s happy, right? so, then, why isn’t she? and now that he’s back in her life, what’s going to happen?
pairing : thomas shelby x female!reader
important : please note that it’s kind of au, as in grace exists but after she, like, ‘betrayed’ them, he didn’t like get together with him, you know? i also haven’t finished the series so if i missed something, dude that’s too bad for me, right? also, some things i simply didn’t want to add because bb please no. so this would sort of be set in the end of season 2, i think.
we make an end
it seems short-sighted
but in all defense
we were damn young
Y/N remembers when she felt her heart break the first time for Thomas fucking Shelby. The first time seemed to stick with her for years and it pained her too much to think about it. They had been in the snug and John had let it slip that Tommy was “very interested” in that pretty barmaid from Ireland. It had physically hurt her when she saw that look in his eyes.
I need a part 3 so badly, it’s so gooddddd
Summary: Chris ended your 3 year relationship because of someone new. 6 years later, you meet again after all, it is a small world.
Pairings: Chris Evans x Actress! Reader, Platnonic! Timothee Chalamet x Actress! Reader, Past! J3nny Slate x Chris Evans
Genre: RPF, Angst, fluff
Word Count: 4,693 words
Divider used is from @moonflower-poet <33
Featured Song: Merry-go-round of life
Warnings: angst, betrayal – as Olivia Rodrigo once said “You didn’t cheat but you’re still a traitor”
Author’s note: Dang, This is a long one y’all. I didn’t properly proof-read it as well (I only skimmed lol) Still, I really love how this one turned out. I was inspired of course by Howl’s Moving Castle. The plot itself isn’t based on the movie, but I highly recommend that you watch it (It’s so good y’all) Also, Scarjo will make a short appearance here and I mentioned her daughter’s name but not her son’s bc IS COSMO HIS LEGIT NAME? Reblogs, likes, and comments are well-appreciated
