Ohhhh my godddddddd oh my god

Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean mental illness don’t exist.

How to properly trim your pet's nails

1. Buy a pair of nail trimmers for your pet(s). 2. Locate the blood vessel of the nail. This should be fairly easy if your dog’s nails are white. If your dog’s nails are black, you’ll have to use your best judgement. 3. After, start by clipping off the tip of the nail. 4. If there is blood, don’t worry. Just take a clean cloth and apply pressure until the bleeding stops (usually takes a couple minutes). 5. If there isn’t, perfect! You’ve just successfully trimmed your pet’s nails.

John Steinbeck, Travels with Charley (via wordsnquotes)

"thats not very lady-like of you"

If a guy ever insists that you two have sex without a condom just smile really big and get teary eyed and emotional and start talking about how excited you are that he wants to have a baby with you and when he tries to interject and say that’s not what he meant, just talk loudly over him about possible baby names.

being in a relationship like

This makes me laugh. everytime. I will never not reblog this 

THIS IS MY NUMBER 1 FAVORITE THING OON THIS GOD FORSAKEN SITE

My anaconda will consider it

I was chatting with a donor before I drew his blood, and he was a dentist. when I actually drew him, there was just a little squirt of blood and it surprised him

I looked him in they eye and told him “you’re bleeding because you don’t floss”

and he went dead silent

had the opportunity and fucking seized it