Usain Bolt posing with his winning tortoise at a tortoise race

are you telling me the fastest man in the world spends his free time racing slow ass animals

are you telling me the fastest man in the world has the fastest slowest animal

“I think trying to be happy is like trying to be a good actress - you have to work at both of them.” - Marilyn Monroe to Georges Belmont, 1960. Photos taken by Carl Perutz, 1958.

when someone tries talking shit about me

so this just happened at my local university today. I bought the second bag to try to knock down the first…and they’re just both kinda…there…

I REALLY WANTED THOSE SUNCHIPS OK DONT LOOK AT ME

UPDATE: OH MY GOD THIS GROUP OF GUYS WALKED OUT OF CLASS AND STARTED FREAKING OUT OVER THE FACT THAT THERE WERE CHIPS THERE…SO ONE OF THEM STARTED HITTING THE MACHINE TO GET THEM AND THE SECRETARY WHO TRIED TO HELP ME GET MY CHIPS WALKED OVER AND THE GUY ASKED HER WHO BOUGHT THEM AND SHE SAID ‘THAT GIRL’. so he looked over, pointed at me, and yelled, across the whole lobby (which is huge btw) “I GOTCHYU GURL”

UPDATE: ALL HIS FRIENDS WENT OUT TO THE CAR AND HAVE COME BACK IN MULTIPLE TIMES TELLING HIM OT HURRY UP AND HE’S ALL LIKE ‘GUYS DON’T WORRY I ALMOST GOT IT’ AND FIVE MINUTES LATER GUESS WHO HAS A BAG OF SUNCHIPS

HE WALKED OUT AND YELLED TO HIS FRIENDS “I DID ITTTTT”

marry him

Definitely marry him guryl he gotchu

I SHOULD OH GOD

you have to marry him this is more romantic than the notebook omfg

Nicholas Sparks next book called “I gotchu Gurl”

follow for more!!

When u see that bitch with the big tits from yesterday

Lately my dog has been smacking people in the face and arms when they pet her and I was like “what the fuck we are just giving you affection” and so I went and googled it

She’s trying to pet us back . She likes to be pet so much and is trying to return the favour but can’t She is so good and pure I love her so much