fate, my friend, you say the strangest things

>i sit on a throne and people come up to me one by one displaying different items

>with each item i yell out "yonic" or "phallic" and then wave them away to a door to the left or right of me (depending on whether its yonic or phallic)

>guy comes up with an item thats too difficult to label as yonic or phalic

>i pull a lever to the right of me that opens a trap door under his feet sending him to fall miles down to his death as we are in my floating cloud castle

>categorizing continues as normal

[Image ID: Tumblr tag reading: #they do this to babies /End ID]

you! the person reading this! please tell me one good thing that happened to you today

they need to invent drinking that's good for you and a way to fuck music

simply dont monday

happy 4/20

Today's Seal Is: The Howler

cats don't even unstick their claws out of things anymore they will just sit there with their claw stuck in a blanket and look at you like this until you unstick it for them

Nobody wants to work anymore

ough to be a cat sleeping in a dandelion field. eepy sleepy

I am wondering how many of you who responded that they can ride a horse have actually ridden a horse. Or if it’s like an “all men think they can land a plane” kind of thing.