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shallot

@shallotparadise

theres too many pokemon games where you play as a kid whos full of life and full of potential. there needs to be a pokemon game where you play as a college dropout who lives in a shitty apartment

your starter pokemon are trubbish, rattata and glameow. which symbolise the trash you keep forgetting to take out, the rats living in your walls and the stray cat you keep trying to befriend but it keeps hissing at you.

you guys dont get it its not supposed to be dark and edgy its supposed to be living in a mundane setting and slowly rediscovering the wonder in the world by going on a journey with a magical trash bag that is your friend, its about love and recovery and coping with the stress of your adult life with your friend who is made of sentient garbage

I’ve never been so attached to literal trash before

I am similarly attached to the sentient trash. Can't wait to take him on little adventures

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i LOVE watching clips from high school productions on youtube. geeky high school thespians are my favorite people on this earth

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leading lady who’s been taking voice lessons since she was 7 vs leading man who got the role because he showed up. girl in chorus who is 100% convinced she could be on broadway right now if she had the right connections (she could not). autistic girl who is clearly the most talented one in the cast but the director definitely thought she was too weird to believably play the female lead. gay teenage boy trying to play a ladies’ man. jock who auditioned as a joke but got in and now his mom won’t let him quit so he’s ready to kill himself at any moment. this is the funniest combination of people you will ever see in your life.

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just painted an onion on a cutting board and i think it’s the peak of my artistic career

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look at her…

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she gets stronger!

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the full painting is finally complete!

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This is giving me emotions that I myself do not fully understand

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Y'know those slightly more realistic shots of spongebob when showing like, some sort of food? Yeah, that's the vibe this is giving me. Especially the first image lol

broteampill-deactivated20200407

mutuals stop putting this on my dash challenge

Every Friday. Every Friday i either see this post or live in fear of seeing it. I can’t wake up and say ‘it’s friday’ anymore without thinking of this post. I am living a nightmare and it’s your fault

joyceanfartboner-deactivated202

imagine how sweet it would be if like fuckin cnn or somethin cut to england and like people were devouring the royal family live on camera

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joyceanfartboner

even the baby one i dont give a fuck

are you seriously advocating for eating a toddler or am i fuckin illiterate 

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joyceanfartboner

actually when i made this post it was a baby

certified iconic post

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there's still a week left for the funniest possible thing to happen (charles dying before the coronation) like to charge reblog to cast or whatever

Hot take: if your country is big enough to have more than one climate, it is too large and you should balkanize.

Chile is an exception, on account of being thin as a pencil, even though it has two climates, and sort of a third where they merge

urbanfantasyinspiration

Just split it down the middle

No it’s too small already

urbanfantasyinspiration

No I just mean in the middle. Like making a north and south Chile

Yeah but don’t do that

urbanfantasyinspiration

It’ll be like north and South Korea

That is not encouraging. That is the opposite of encouraging

No, go back to the first idea, East Chile and West Chile, the first countries you can throw a baseball clear across

had a dream (more like a prophetic vision) that there was a terminally ill youtuber who recorded a few months of content ahead of time to release after they died where they would occasionally casually reference the fact that they are dead, including a video talking about their actual real death complete with pictures. whole thing is kept cool and casual, no mourning or sadness just the usual "hey guys! guess who died today 🤪" stuff.

they managed to get early copies of some upcoming video games so they could post timely reviews and everything, still keeping up the whole "actually died recently" bit. they were still just like normal ass reviews, sometimes they'd drop a "wow this game is so bad I'm glad I died three weeks ago" or some similar joke.

the channel became super popular after he died and "deadtubing" became a trend but there was a huge scandal when one of the most popular deadtubers was revealed as actually being alive.