WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS?

so glad to reintroduce eating donuts off a girls dick to the tgirl tumblrsphere

trashy stoner tgirls 69ing donuts off eachothers dicks call that a bake hers dozen

Soda Pop: A highly carbonated soda drink. It can be used to restore 50 HP to a single Pokémon.

One day my mom overheard me and my friends talking about anime and asked what "tsundere" meant. After I explained it to her, she said, "oh, so it's just like you then", which is NOT something you can come back from

For a few weeks later she took to calling me "tsundere" at any given opportunity. It was hellish and my friends never let me live it down

it's really important to put boys in cute dresses!!

There are grand yet humble lessons which can only be learned by commuting by bus out of necessity.

sensually massaging WD-40 into your robot gf’s joints

WD-40 is a terrible lubricant actually, especially for high friction parts like limb joints. WD stands for Water Displacement and is good for treating wet rust and expelling moisture, but terrible for minimizing friction.

What you’d really want is SAE10-30 or if she’s older, an oil with a higher viscosity like a SAE20-40.

I liked this post and not ten later Tumblr brings me this

im doing my part o7

Love how The Blue Flavor is almost always some made-up nonsense flavor, but at the same time, I try it and it's like. Shit you're right. That's what blue tastes like.

I always hate it when people are all “so do you go to school, or are you working, or” and I either have to

So my therapist was like, “You don’t have to do either. You can just say you haven’t worked in a while because you’re recovering from an illness.”

I tried it when the home inspector was here today, and it fucking worked. He was like, “oh, I’m sorry, are you doing better now,” and I’m like yeah, and don’t worry, it’s not contagious, awkward laugh, and we moved on.

MY THERAPIST. IS A GENIUS. Because it is an illness, so it’s not a lie to say that, and it’s also none of his business to know specifically what it is, and I clearly don’t want to give more details, so we should move on from this topic. MY THERAPIST IS A GODDAMN GENIUS.

Dude I needed this. I never know what to say when people ask if I work because I’m severely disabled and don’t work.

REBLOG TO SAVE A LIFE HOLY SHIT

To add, this works on job interviews too.  I once had to answer the ‘so whats up with this gap of 8 months in your resume where you were unemployed?” and I just said I had suffered an illness and I needed time to recover.

It’s easy enough, not a lie, and puts them on edge enough that they usually don’t go digging.

Legally, they cannot go digging is why the get so on edge.

it's important to randomly pet girls you like

what if we weren’t doomed by the narrative but instead doomed each other through mutual influence, because certain annihilation is a small price to pay for bone-deep understanding

I shyly offer you a card with a picture of a cute beatrix potter lookin rabbit on the front. you open it and inside it says, "CONTROL OF SCARCE RESOURCES IS ALWAYS BACKED BY VIOLENCE"

gay person: i wish this thing had more gay characters

straight person: then make your own thing lol

gay person: (makes a predominately queer thing with very few/no straight characters)

straight person: where are the straight characters? do you hate us?

i guess because queer media is so rarely mainstream that straight people (particularly straight men) never really dealt with the reality that very often a lot of queer works tend to have majority gay/trans characters.

getting mad about this is like walking into a papa john's and being pissed that they're not selling domino's pizzas

friends

also "religions are fandoms" is the absolute worst take on the planet and i have heard it way too many times in the last few days

Academic disciplines are fandoms, and relatively bad at it, too.

how does it feel to be so wrong

Guy who has only ever socialized in fandom seeing people socializing in a house of worship: Getting a lot of "fandom" vibes from this.

yeah that's literally it

dark green is a nice color. underrated

ladies and gentlemen, Phtalo Green

This is literally my favorite color. 😩 Smaragd green is another dark shade of green that I’m absolutely obsessed with.

Accidentally typoed the elevation on one of the bryophyte tags I was digitizing for my herbarium job and the database itself shamed me for it