@parents who keep saying shit like “this is my room, not yours, nothing here is yours, it’s all mine” or “this is my house, I can do what I want, and you will do as I say as long as you live here” to your children:

Did you have a child just so you can force them to live in desolation? Do you take pleasure in robbing a child of any possession? Do you enjoy having a child who has absolutely nothing? Are you aware that you’re responsible for providing a room, safe place to sleep, food, clothing and protection to your child? Do you think you’re renting your house or sharing it with a family member? Do you think you’ve provided something if you say it’s still yours when someone else is using it, someone you’re supposed to provide it to?

Do you think it’s fucking funny to raise a child who thinks they have no right to own their own room, bed, things? Do you think humans procreate so we could rid our children of any possessions they could call theirs? Do you find children living in desolation acceptable? Are you so happy that you’re teaching your child they have no human rights, no rights to resources, no right to space where they can exist safely? Are you pleased that you cornered your own child into being completely reliable on your good will to live? Are you happy they wont be able to learn how to manage resources because you’re making sure they have none?

Do you think keeping a hostage in your house is satisfying? Do you think you’re teaching your child a great lesson by sending them off into a capitalistic world with knowledge they’re not worth a thing? Are you proud that they wont be able to fight for their human rights because of what you taught them? Are you proud to spread capitalistic message that personal profit of already rich individuals comes before children’s right to life in freedom? Do you think for a fucking second that you’re committing a crime by forcing a child to live like this? 

Do you realize your child needs to own, manage, and always be able to safely count on having their own stuff, in order to develop their sense of ability, sense of resources and sense of self worth? Do you honestly think your child’s ownership of anything should be taken away in regard to how you feel about it? Do you find it fun to blackmail kids? Do you think scum like you should be allowed to control a living situation of a child? Don’t you think it would be better for every child in the world if you had no say over their resources?

Something people don’t understand about child abuse

One of the things that I really hate is that people don’t understand that survivors act differently and respond to their traumas in different ways.

I’m a survivor of csa and so is my friend. Her trauma made her extremely hypersexual while I could literally cry if someone even touched me.

My bf is a survivor of csa, I can talk for hours about my trauma if I felt safe enough while he NEVER brings it up.

A friend of mine is a survivor of emotional abuse and so am I. Her trauma made her angry while mine made me soft and defenseless.

My bf remembers every little detail about his trauma, while I repressed most of my childhood and traumas.

There’s no special “criteria” that you should fill in order to be a “valid” survivor, and there’s no specific way you should act if you were abused.

People respond to their traumas differently and it’s okay, your abuse is STILL valid no matter how you respond to it.

Tag urself, I’m sporting the floof right now

A friendly reminder..❤️

ID: title of picture says "How can someone have so many disorders?" with a picture of a stick man and a question mark. The stick man asks questions like "This user has 8 disorders? Huh?", "Are they faking?", "Why do they have some diagnosed and some self-diagnosed disorders?", and "3 types of neurodivergancies in 1 person? Aren't the odds of that happening way too rare?". The text below the stick man says, "If you're active in mental health groups or if you yourself have a lot of diagnoses then you may be wondering what are the odds that someone has this many disorders?". The picture below is a red stick figure holding up a paper marked as "info" in front of the original stick man. The text at the very bottom says "But it's actually more common than you think! Keep these things in mind!".

ID: A red piece of paper labeled as "info" with multiple jot notes. The jot notes say "lots of disorders are comorbid, meaning if you have one then you're likely to have another (examples; anxiety & depression, autism & OCD, neurotic disorders & mood disorders, etc.)", "the stigma and ableism one may face for having one disorder can result in trauma or major anxiety", "If said trauma is experienced at a young age, it can develope into a more complex trauma-related disorder (DID, OSDD, personality disorders, Complex PTSD, etc)", and "Untreated disorders can result in someone forming unhealthy coping mechanisms & more disorders (addiction, self harm, eating disorders, maladaptive daydreaming, etc)".

Image ID: A red baby titled "born autistic & OCD" who grows into a child titled "developed trauma due to ableist bullying". The child grows into a teen titled "copes via drugs" who then grows into an adult titled "Adult with many disorders". The red adult is saying "shit". Their diagnoses appear beside them, saying; Autistic, OCD, drug-induced psychosis, social phobia, depression, and stress-related chronic pain. Beneath them is a blue baby titled "born into abusive home" who then grows into a child titled "learned unhealthy behaviors to escape abuse". The kid grows into a teen titled "uses sex, drugs, and fantasy as an escape" and then grows into an adult titled "adult with many disorders". The disorders listed next to them are PTSD, BPD, DID, maladaptive daydreaming, hypersexual, and depression.

/ end of image descriptions

Version without image description.

“Because I am the adult and you are the child” is not a valid excuse.

Say it with me.

“Because I am the adult and you are the child” is not a valid excuse.

louder!

“Because I am the adult and you are the child” is not a valid excuse.

“Because I am the adult and you are the child” is not a valid excuse!

These are just some examples of things abusers say to make you doubt your perception and memories of their abuse (taken from personal experience and the stories of people who have messaged me). Feel free to add your own examples if they’re not listed here and if you want to help spread awareness about what gaslighting looks like!

What does guilt-tripping by abusive parents look like?

What does victim-blaming by abusive parents look like?

For more information on gaslighting by abusive parents, check out this video about how the 11 warning signs of gaslighting are represented in Tangled

It is not your fault if you didn't realize you were being abused at the time.

It's not your fault if you didn't know seeking help was an option.

It's not your fault if you've defended your abuser in the past.

It's not your fault if you once trusted their words.

You are not stupid, or naive. You did not choose this situation, you did not deserve to be abused.

Your abuser is at fault. They manipulated you, they lied to you, and it is their fault for hurting you.

Nothing you did could have made you deserve this. It was them, not you.

🏳️‍🌈 Happy pride month! Here are a few reminders from a queer child abuse survivor for anyone who might need them:

You don’t owe your parents unconditional love. You don’t have to respect their prejudices while they continue to not respect your identity. You don’t have to change or hide who you are for them; you don’t have to prioritise their comfort. You’re not selfish for not being the person they wished you would be.

If your parents were loving, but turned violent and hostile when they found out about your identity, that’s still abuse. You don’t have to be abused from the very first years of your life for it to “count” as child abuse. You don’t have to feel grateful they loved you until they found out. And you did not turn them abusive by not being who they wanted you to be. They chose to turn their backs on you.

Parents can be accepting of your identity and still be abusive. Being accepting of your identity doesn’t make them any less abusive. And you don’t have to be grateful they’re only abusive in other ways.

Parents only respecting your identity when it’s convenient to them isn’t the same as them being accepting. If they’re supportive and caring when they’re in a good mood, but use your identity to attack you when they’re angry or frustrated, you’re allowed to be affected by it, and you don’t have to give them the benefit of the doubt just because it only happens when they’re having a bad day. Abuse of all kinds that “only happens when they’re in a bad mood” is still abuse, no matter how loving and accepting they are the rest of the time.

Allyship is a verb. If your parents claim they support and accept your identity, but don’t follow through with their actions and words, you’re allowed to be hurt. You don’t have to be grateful that “at least they’re not hateful”.

You don’t owe your parents coming out to them. It doesn’t matter how safe they are (or how safe they say they are) to come out to. Coming out is your choice and yours alone, and you’re not selfish, ungrateful or a liar for keeping it from your parents or anyone else, regardless of your reasons.

You don’t owe your parents being closeted around others for the sake of their comfort. Your parents don’t get to decide who you can’t come out to. They don’t get to force you back into the closet for the sake of your family’s public image, or to avoid having uncomfortable conversations with their close-minded relatives, friends, or acquaintances.

You know you better than anyone else. Your parents don’t get to dictate who you are, or to decide you’re lying or confused. Your identity’s realness does not rely on their acknowledgement or approval. Only you get to say who you are.

Feel free to add on, and I hope you have a safe month ❤️

if you raised a child who is afraid of you and afraid of your reactions to things they do or mistakes they make you fucked up and were a horrible parent

Challenge Of The Super Sons #7

i hope you heal from the things no one ever apologized for

—

— Unknown

I FORGET IRLS FOLLOW ME HERE AH enjoy this comic 👍

There is a difference between:

Being depressed and having Major Depressive Disorder.

Being anxious and having Generalized Amxiety Disorder or Panic Disorder.

Being narcissistic and having Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Being obsessed and having OCD.

Being anxious in crowds and having Social Anxiety.

One symptom of a disorder doesn't mean you have that disorder, and disorders aren't characterized by only one symptom.

~college~ study tips

1. study for yourself, not others. don’t study because you like to say that you spent hours studying (or don’t not study just because you want to seem naturally smart)! do what you YOU have to do and not what others expect you to do.

2. understand, don’t memorize. especially if you’re in college!! 99% of the time the professor would rather you understand why something is rather than just what it is.

3. read the textbook. even if your professor goes over the chapter in class, a lot of times they’ll slip in questions on the exam that they didn’t go over in class but were in the reading. (sneaky!!)

4. don’t wait until the end of the semester to ask for extra credit. you are 20x more likely to get it if you ask in the middle. 

5. eat in class if you have to! not sure if this qualifies as a study tip but i’m including it anyway. if you’re starving there is no way you’ll be able to pay attention in class! keep some snacks in your backpack to eat during class to keep you energized and focused! the professor most likely will not mind, but if they did, it would probably say so in the syllabus.

6. make study groups! i know a lot of people find them distracting, but maybe try to meet with a study group for every class at least one or two times a semester just to make sure you didn’t miss anything in the notes. and who knows, your group might be able to explain tricky concepts to you better than your professor can!

7. take advantage of little pockets of time. do you have 30 minutes between classes? read over your notes! waiting in line for chipotle? pull out a quizlet!! college can get BUSY and overwhelming and you may have trouble finding a large chunk of time to study, so spend the down time you do have wisely!

8. ^ that being said, take breaks! if you just walked out of an exam and you’re feeling pretty brain dead, don’t pull out your notes and study! let yourself have some time to relax before you get back into your rhythm. you don’t want to burn yourself out!

9. don’t forget that you have a final exam! after you finish a chapter exam or quiz, don’t let yourself forget all of that information, it’ll make finals 10x harder! if you have extra study time every once in a while go over some of your old notes to refresh your memory.

10. go to office hours. that’s it. that’s the tip.

11. be flexible with your study time! don’t go to the library thinking “i have to stay here and study for 8 hours for my exam tomorrow or i am a bad student” because a. that is not realistic b. you might not actually need that much time. maybe you only need 3 hours to feel prepared! maybe you are planning on 2 but you really need 4! just be flexible!

12. have a clean & clear work space. we love our decorations and 20 mason jars full of pens on our desks, but at the end of the day, if your desk isn’t functional, change it. it is much easier to focus and get stuff done when you have adequate space to do so.

13. explain concepts out loud to yourself. you may sound crazy, but this works! this helps you work out the best way to explain things for the exam (especially if the exam is in essay format), and you can easily find out how much you actually understand by doing this! just go through your notes and explain all the major concepts. i always pretend i’m a professor teaching it to students (i know it sounds crazy but it really does work).

14. make sure to bring a water bottle to your study sessions. don’t be like me and only drink coffee!! coffee is great and all but doesn’t do much for your energy if you’re dehydrated and you are more likely to crash. water is really important and will keep you energized for a longer period of time!

15. switch between classes you are studying for every hour or so. your brain cannot focus on the same thing for very long, so switching between different subjects will help stimulate it so you can study longer! 

16. NEVER write an essay the day before it’s due! i guarantee it will not be your best work, even if you believe you work better under pressure. your thoughts and ideas need time to develop, and they won’t fully develop if you do it all in one night.

17. if you hit a point in your studying where you can’t focus or learn anymore, go to bed. the information will process in your brain overnight and you will wake up the next day with all the information fresh in your brain, and you’ll feel much more awake and focused on studying. 

18. mind map!! mind mapping will help you connect all the concepts together to better understand how it should all flow.

19. don’t wait to do tasks that will only take 5 minutes. get all of these quick tasks out of the way before you get on netflix (or studyblr tbh). this will help clear up your to-do list and get you into the groove of studying without doing anything too strenuous!

20. don’t take yourself too seriously. still work hard, but remember that you are young. one bad grade on a test is not going to ruin your entire life. have fun in college and don’t stress yourself out over grades or your future too much.

shit i’ve heard chemistry majors say

- *student in a lab coat, cutting in the cafeteria line* YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND I DON’T HAVE A LOT OF TIME MY EXPERIMENT IS GOING TO CATCH FIREEEE

- *loud pop*    student, in very calm voice: well that was painful

- lab assistant, seeing me frantically pulling on gloves: oh no. what did you do now

- professor: come on guys, don’t hate on social sciences majors… it’s not their fault they were born this way

- so i was grading your tests last night. i wanted to kill someone.

- you have five minutes until the end of class to finish the test. but i want to go outside for a smoke, so three

- *section of lab report titled “applications of compound”* i heard that a drug cartel used it to dissolve bodies, should i list that?

- “i’m synthesizing this compound in my next lab class, what kind of stuff effects the success rate and yield?” “dunno man, it depends on your karma”

- based on my recent lab assignments, i have come to the conclusion that the professor wants me to get killed

- dude, Fehling’s solution contains glucose, what if it tastes like lemonade?   *proceeds to dip finger in and lick it*   well that was a disappointment. the potassium hydroxide makes it kinda bitter.

- professor: you’ll understand this concept in your fifth year   student: sir, this is a four-year program   professor: oh, then never