*dial-up-noise.mp3*

The elves:

if you got like a 100kilo bag of glitter and opened it up and left it in the path of like a tornado i think that would be interesting. i dont care abt ecological damage btw

I do. 100kg bag of seaweed based glitter.

i dont. 100kg bag of enriched uranium based glitter

wait isnt uranium denser than lead how heavy would a 100kg bag of uranium be

thyrell.

just kill me

Source 

“When I got my first cat, it changed me. There is something about holding a cat that makes your anger melt away. And if someone does something that upsets me—I have to remember my cat. I can’t keep my cat if I get into trouble.”

“I asked if Major Cabanaw had concerns for the safety of the cats. “Of course, we always want to ensure the safety of the cats, and the staff is great about keeping an eye out for them. But mostly, it’s the offenders keeping them safe. I have never once seen an offender kill his own cat. We screen them to be sure they have no history of animal abuse. But I’ll tell you this, there was a guy killed in here because he had spit soda pop onto someone else’s cat.””

Wow.

Cats now control the prisons. They now have an army.

This post went exactly where I expected. Well done.

https://youtu.be/xUb1I571BXo

i really love this program i feel like my heart is going to burst. there are so many great things about this program, these animals were going to be euthanized but they are being taken care of by people who need that kind of relationship for their mental well being. the prison system in america is messed up but this is definitely a step in the right direction. its such an innovative solution to both the issue of the negative social and psychological impact that prisons have and lowering the euthanization rates in animal shelters.

“we’re not just saving four-legged lives, we’re saving two-legged lives.”

It’s a proven fact that having inmates, even extremely violent criminals, care for a creature that is small and “helpless” has a positive impact on the criminals brain wiring. Where before they may have had little or even no regard for life, even their own, the animals foster a sense of empathy and responsibility. The inmate begins to consider the animals needs with every choice they make.

“I cant get into this fight cuse I’ll be put in solitary and my cat will miss me.”

“If I do some extra work in x area (laundry, kitchen, ect) I can earn credit for the store (many low security prisons have little general stores where they can buy things like cigarettes, chips, ect) and by Miss Molly that sweet catnip mouse.”

“Need to be on good behavior cuse when I get out I can give my cat a better life than this cell.”

And once out of prison, parolees have a reason to find legitimate work to get things their pet needs or get them special treats and toys. Often a parolee that just has to care for themselves will be able to justify either not getting something they themselves need or not working legitimately for those needs. When they do it for a pet, they often feel a real sense of accomplishment and believe their pet is proud of them for working hard.

Not to mention the effect animals have on depression and anxiety. Coming home to a pet that loves unconditionally after a hard day at work really makes it worth it.

Zepotha will never be Goncharov because when it comes down to it, tumblr culture is collaborative, while tiktok culture is merely iterative, and those are not the same thing.

Op I refuse to let your tags stay in the tags cause THIS!!!!!

Yeah, that doesn't prevent pregnancy.

Dfgajagakala it’s so you don’t get a UTI 😂

*facepalm* So, given that sex ed in the US is a tire fire:

Vagina-having people have a shorter urethra, which means we’re more prone to UTIs because the bacteria doesn’t have to travel as far to get up into your bladder and cause a problem.

Which means if you’re exposing your bits to bacteria (as with sex), peeing will flush out bacteria in the urethra. (Urine isn’t actually sterile - that’s a myth - but you’re *supposed to* have a little bit of bacteria - that’s how bodies work. But it still flushes things out that shouldn’t be there.)

Oh! You should ALSO pee after you masturbate, especially if it involves penetration with fingers/toys/etc

So I’ve blocked like five transphobes on this post, which I feel should have been relatively uncontroversial.

If you’re one of the people saying “You meant ‘women’”, fuck you. I meant “people who have a vagina, regardless of their gender or lack thereof”, and you can go fuck yourself with a cactus.

And you should pee afterward, so you don’t get a UTI.

Gradually getting more bland and cookie cutter

Shoutout to whoever picked a golf to use for this infograph, because it’s probably an intentional reference to the “Harlequin” golf, which as you can see by comparing the modle to the infograph, is unfortunately a relic of the time when colors were winning.

For reference this is a Whoopie Pie

Uhhhhhhhh what the fuck happened to my poll

no rest of the world sweep

*right clicks on you*

*views your properties*

you guys who weren’t here will never understand how fundamentally hilarious the rcdart drama was. like imagine waking up one day and suddenly everyone is talking about this one artist drawing captain america fucking weird and you look them up and get hit with these bad boys

and for the record… they chose this. this is how their OLDER art looked like 

like. you couldnt PAY me to post this. i would not admit this at gunpoint 

sorry but i dont think this post is complete without their attempts at drawing star wars characters

"i don't like this thing and i wish i didn't have to see people talking about it all the time"

girl (gender neutral), you are on tungle dot com:

choose your fighter.

yeah and there is also “blocked tags”  if it’s a fandom or topic you have a problem with and not a specific blog

I just

That’s not a home that’s a Halo Reach map

Are we ignoring the family guy paintings?

I’m trying to

I want to be fucked in one of those 70s conversation pits so bad

Yeah you're right. It WOULD be pretty fucked up if you were a swan but you were raised by ducks and you grew up never seeing another swan or even knowing that such a thing as a swan even existed so you just thought you were a duck with something super wrong with it.

minos was such a pussy. if my wife gave birth to an epic minotaur baby i wouldn't have locked him in a labyrinth. i would have taken him to the mcdonalds play place (athens) every day and let him eat as many stray mcnuggets (athenians) off the floor as he wanted. i love you hungry son

(pulling a painted vase out of my wallet) and this is my youngest at his first nose ring fitting. isn't he handsome

i like sailing myths and superstitions because most of them can be boiled down to "if the ocean doesn't like you it will chew you up and spit out your bones. and if it really loves you it will swallow you whole and never let you go. good luck 👍"

I decided that the opposite of bass-boosting a dubstep song is to replace the drop with elevator music

need a bi4bi t4t m/f pairing where the girl is a giant freak and not in the "cute manic pixie" way but in the "unethical experiments in my fucked up laboratory" way and the guy is a golden retriever who thinks he can fix her. and he brings her cute bento lunches and she's like "bradley shut up put on your fucking gloves and hold this possum down so i can graft these giant grasshopper legs to it"

your brain is unfathomably colossal