How just how do people get ssi/ssdi/disability if they struggle keeping work their whole life… yet don’t qualify because not enough work credits?? 😡that doesn’t make sense to me! So annoying and very irritating!!
Just can’t stop… can’t stop thinking about you… your my life my whole world.. why are you not talking with me… I don’t matter to you at all 😞💔😢teenagers… young adults… 💔💔💔💔you both know how to disrespect and break your mothers heart… and your father is not stopping you from saying or doing anything to stop you. I’m evil I’m toxic I’m this I’m that…. Did I ask your father to cheat on me 💔😞no I was there your whole life… did everything with you and for you… between your half sister and her mother everything everything blew up in my face and y’all just ripped my heart out.
And the dog has growled before at nothing we can see in the kitchen… the room I was coming out of from drawing in the dog walked up to the door way adjacent to the room I was coming out of and the kitchen. All three door ways are adjacent to each other…. I got spooked and it’s almost 4 a.m. ughhh yeah unless I know who the spirit is I get my energy level up to ok who’s watching me and don’t hurt me feeling. My boyfriends dad died … I’m not sure if he died here at the house or in another place. But he was perverted and not a nice guy from what my boyfriend said. But the dog has growled at nothing in the kitchen and looked like he wanted to attack something and it was before I moved in. My boyfriend wishes he had a video of it too but… sometimes I see something out of the corner of my eye, kinda creepy to me…
Talking about haunted places and things happening at 3 in the a.m. here I am drawing another picture and come out of the room I’m drawing in and look to my right and didn’t hear the dog we have walking up to the door way and about pissed myself dropping out of my skin! Took me a bit to calm down lol
Feeling annoyed frustrated depressed and angry all at the same time….. 😠😞😢😡 who on here is a parent of young adults and divorced?
Today…. I’m hopeful… I’m praying daily …. For the day to come that I hear back from you both… with heart ache and tears filling my eyes thinking of you both… what else can I do … it’s getting harder each day that passes by waiting and trying to keep my head held up without letting it effect my days… I keep going back in my memories of you both growing up…. Enjoying each second of watching you and being your mom… I tried I tried so so many times with no help around while your father worked outside the house and then came home looking over my shoulder wondering what I didn’t do all day… hearing him complain each day about me in front of both of you… him telling me to stop defending myself…. I miss the bonding time with you… my youngest… every night you would ask me to lay down with you… we had fun too… making goofy faces while I took selfies of us laying there… so many good times we had together with you both. I miss you both when you were younger… you held close to my hip… but now you both put me on mute and completely ignore me…. How am I toxic I’ve heard from you both… why…. Has the moon turn full… have I wronged you both some how… God tell me so I can work at fixing us. Why do you both hate me and fear me… just so many lies being said about me… did I cause your dad to cheat on me more than once… feels like you both buried me under ground without explaining anything like you threw me away…. 😞💔😭 God the pain hurts so badly!
-CAR
So here I am chatting with a young lady I watched growing up with my son…. Told her I haven’t spoken with my daughters since Nov Dec…. She didn’t know that…. But with all the shit that went down and reasons why I left their father and moved out of state… I’m blamed for everything including their father cheating on me. I tried working things out by going back to him but had a nervous breakdown during that time and went through far more than I did to begin with…. Not at all understood and told I’m toxic and everything negative. Complained about etc…. 😞💔just breaks my heart and soul being gaslit… then my own daughters started believing shit everyone said even though I raised them…. Why just why are some men and their exs and they’re kids like that with the new wife. I was going through so much shit more downs than ups for 21 years. My kids sadly were raised in all that bullshit. So I wound up blocking that person. If everyone is going to believe in just one side without hearing the full story then forget it. I’m done….
-CAR
Thinking about you all the time, wishing hoping praying every day to hear from you both. Breaks my heart. But I can’t help it… I birthed you, raised you, was there for you, but this silence is just unbearable… 😞💔I miss you every second of the day, wondering what I did so wrong to you both to deserve such silence. Only God knows my pain… you are still too young to fully grasp understand the hurt this has caused me. I know your both so hurt and angry with me, but to ignore me is much much worse. Your listening to the wrong people about me. You should know me I raised you from birth… but I guess non of that matters anymore, I don’t matter to you both anymore.
-CAR
One day I’ll hear back from my two daughters… missing them so very much… life is not the same without my kids. Grateful my son communicates with me when he’s not busy. I’ve never been away from my kids ever… this sucks the way the two treat me. As if I’m such a horrible parent… there are do many worse parents out there that just don’t deserve to have kids… I’ve never been happier with the man I’m with though… he’s very supportive of me and is a desert storm war army medic veteran. I’m so proud of him… I say all that because he’s been helping deal with the loss connection between my daughters and I. 💔😞all I have right now is my memories of them growing up watching them learn to walk… learn new things every day… my youngest was do determined to learn to ride a bike after watching her sister ride hers…. She was determined and taught herself… I watched every second of them growing up… once there half sister moved in I slowly lost control of my daughters. I remember every night though was my youngest and my bonding time… she asked me every night sometimes in codes to lay down with her. Man oh man i miss that kid so so much. It’s been since Nov or Dec of last year since they’ve talked or video called me. The messages I saw between their father and them about me was horrible. I still have the screen shots too if there messages.
-CAR
Waiting and praying for one day hopefully soon I will hear from you… this silence hurts so much like you buried me… I’m yelling for you in my thoughts with tears of sadness.. nothing makes sense why your not wanting anything to do with me. You shut the door and locked it. I didn’t… I miss you both so damn much this hurts. If I could do it all over again it would be with a more respectful man. Because the father you both have is not a real man. I’m sorry for hurting you… my leaving I know hurt you, but you made your bed and now I’m paying the price. You made your bed sloppy… with disrespect for your mother… listening to others put me down you stopped caring. Your young but an immature young lady and so is your sister. I only have to apologize for leaving you both behind… you wronged me and so did everyone under your roof. But I must continue to pray hard for God to work his miracle. I don’t know what else to do. My heart just aches for you kids. I love you so much and only wish you could see that.
-CAR
I feel like I’ve lost my two daughters…. Feeling lost without them. Going through a divorce from their father and I had to leave. I have a wonderful boyfriend now… but not hearing back from my kids hurts. They are being lied to by their father and half sister and her mother about me. Thing is why would they believe such crap from others about me when I raised them. 😞💔
Heart broken tears I’ve cried many… thinking of you hurts so much. I miss everything from carrying you both for 9 months… I’d do it all over again in a heart beat. Going through the pain was worth it. Now the pain is different called silence. Raising you I had so much fun. Teaching you what I know, being there comforting you. I promised I’d never leave you. Moms and dads fight, wish you were with me. I ache inside every day I don’t hear from you. The words you spoke to me hurt so much. God I miss you if you only knew how much. I write this here because if I sent this to you I know you’d spit at it. Guess that’s the price you pay for unconditional love. I pray every day for you both. You may not care about me or love me… one thing I do know is I love you more than you both know. God hears my heart and sees my tears… I’m trying to be strong and patient waiting for the day you come back to me. I did not abandon you… I’ve been trying so hard to communicate with you. But you seem to have hate for me and that’s ok. I’d hate me too. If the shoe was on the other foot I’d not want anything to do with my mother either. Thing is I was once in your shoes. When I was 16 I wanted nothing to do with my mom for 2 years. Things you don’t know about me.
-CAR
Letting go isn’t easy, your stomach gets quizy, your thoughts go crazy, thinking of you both hurts the most. I miss you so much, the memories of giving birth…. I’d honestly do it all over again but with someone else that respects me and teaches you both the proper respect of how to respect your mother. Your both under very bad influences which hurts so much. Teaching you that I’m no good as your mother. Who does that? I just wish to God you were both with me the one who raised you both watched your take your first step, homeschooled you both, comforted you when you were scared, stayed up all night long with you feeding you and helping you get to sleep. But you heard so much pain from me with so much arguing between your father and I and now look at us. You want nothing to do with me because a few people put hatred in your head for me. Why…. Just why…. 😞💔your my world I love you both so much and yet … I can’t tell you anything because you won’t believe me. You call me a liar, a narcissist, when I was there your whole life and I’ve never lied to you. So much to say… your my baby girls all grown up physically… mentally your only 18 and 20. What on Gods green earth why just why is this happening to me?? I know your hurting because I left. It’s like I don’t even know you. You have been treating me like some stranger you want nothing to do with. All because of lies you are being told and sticking up for someone that thinks I’m toxic. I’ve done nothing wrong to you guys to deserve this. I’m your mother for Gods sake! Your father is very wrong in so many ways. God I just miss you both so much. I’m gonna say I’m homesick for you both. Your apart of me in every way. It’s going on a year since I’ve seen either of you in person. Oh please God restore what’s broken between my daughters and I please because this is so very painful. 😭💔😞
-CAR
I wish you would respond in a respectful way, it hurts like you ripped my heart out wanting nothing to do with me. You and your sister both owe me so much from your heart an apology. Given the fact I’m the one that pushed you out of my womb and carried you for 9 months. How dare you treat your mother so poorly. I was there for you since the beginning and this is how you repay me??? Nahhh no hell way!! My love for you is unconditional and I only pray with a broken heart that you start seeing the truth. I’m not at all what everyone you have listened to is. I went through so much pain for you both, I make a couple mistakes before I left your father. That was between he and I, now your afraid of me??? So many thoughts run through my mind every day! Missing you both is the one thing. The other thoughts I scream at in my head. So many misunderstood words and actions, you both just don’t understand and won’t until you open your heart and mind. Until then I’m in pain missing my daughters and all because you both just want to believe in lies when you’ve been around me all your life. I’ve never hurt you I’ve raised you and did my damndest trying to be a good parent. But with all the words you both said with your father hurts me and non of you care. That’s not being very Christian at all and you both were raised in the church. So much for my own kids supporting their mother. When you find the truth and you realize parents do make mistakes let me know. I will always love you and care for you both. I will not stand by letting some other woman take my place as your mother though. Hell NO!!!!
-Just venting Ty CAR
Watching you grow, teaching you as you grew up, such a beautiful young lady, I seriously miss you. Now your about to walk up to the stage to get your diploma. Yet you don’t want me there to watch you. I know your angry with me, but still I had to leave, but not you… your father. I failed as a wife and a mother. Blame me all you want, but that will never cause me to stop loving you or being or mother. I write this here because I know you won’t want to see anything from me. So I write this as a poem… I love you so much this separation from you hurts like hell. Your my world, you and your sister. I’m sorry so very deeply sorry for leaving you behind. I tried so hard to make things work with everyone under the roof. In the end I needed to get away from who I was married to…. Your father. I’m sorry your still there. I’m better now, now that I’m not with your dad. I’m away from all the disappointments, arguing, pain, toxicity, just wish you decided to be with me. We had such a bond you and I. All I have is prayers and memories. Memories of you and I and you growing up. I miss laying down beside you every night as requested by you. “Will you lay down with me mom?” I fought to stand my ground from everyone that was against that. I hated how I was told no she’s too old to be doing this. Made me angry inside, and now look…. You hate me, you want nothing to do with me. All because your half sister got into your head and and broke our bond. God I pray that you wake up and stop hating me. That you start missing me and want to be with me.
-CAR
It hurts me to see you suffering from this awful lung disease, your my everything, you ache I ache, your my heart my soul my air. No one has ever treated me honestly the way you do. I need you as much as you need me. I’m so in love with my knight in shinning armor I don’t think you know how deep. I know your struggling and I know you are strong and stubborn, that’s all good. It’s amazing to me we were together in the mid 90’s, and we were good together then, and now look at us after 2 in half decades back together and stronger than before. You rock my world. The only regret I have is not having your children. I love you so deeply. Thankyou for being back in my life and truly loving me the way a woman should be loved and respected.
-CAR