^ From a therapist-friend, in case any in-therapy-friends ever worry about this. 

As a mental health clinician, holy shit is this accurate.

Hands down my favorite part of Night At The Museum is that it’s low key the plot of The Mummy (1999) but like, chill.

Like Rami Malek’s character isn’t like a mannequin come to life like the rest of them. He’s 100% a 3000 year old reanimated corpse. And everyone’s just fine with it.

He could just take the tablet and fully walk out of the museum and just live his life but he’s a bro and would rather be a glorified docent.

remember the flower crown trend????? it was good bring it back

Not with the Ted Bundy film closing in

“What are you into?” Is such a broad question, Like do I reply with a tv series or choking….

my parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying

reblog if you too are scared to drink anything but water when someone takes you out to eat

lgbt stands for let’s go to bed

they say depressed people arent productive well i just doubled the size of my minecraft farm so hows this dick taste fuckers

Do you ever find things you wrote when you were little and just really want to die a little?

Me at age 11: “I am a sea of feelings. I am an emocean.”

Emocean underlined three times

11 year old you is a fucking genius 

Some of you actually stood up and recited the pledge of allegiance in school and it shows

i stand but i don’t face the flag nor do i recite

I approve

You’re officially invited to my Heck The Rules Club^TM that I just made just now

The band kids at my school had first block in a seperate building. That building generally turned the intercom down, or off. Once the principal came in and watched our class, as he do, ya know. He was upset that we didn’t do the pledge. So the next day we had to stand and do the pledge. The only person who participated was the teacher. We sat silently. It was a group decision that wasn’t discussed before hand. He said ok. Later that week a petition was delivered to the principal about the pledge and how none of the kids wanted to do that. He doubled down, and told the teacher to send any kid not participating to the office. The following Monday when his policy of sending the kids to the office was in effect the entire band class was matched down to the office.

With our interments.

The principal tried to lecture us and the trumpet players were not having it. The drum major ran us through every song right there in the office.

After that the pledge was optional.

(Quietly, but with a lot of feeling) holy s h I t

If you pay attention to the ads in Time Square, you learn that John Mulaney exists in Miles’ universe. Meaning that once he got over the initial shock of there being a Spiderham, Miles was concerned with the fact that Spiderham sounded like John Mulaney.

literally what the fuck

Plus his name was Henry and he called himself Indiana after their dog that he loved, so could even be Henrietta Jones and still call herself Indiana and NOTHING NEED CHANGE AT ALL. 

I’m a woman and my last name is Jones?? What the literal fuck

Your name is Jonesette now I’m sorry.

The entirety of tumblr is illiterate

requested by anonymous

what does this say

Veggietale who sinned enough to go to hell

pickle rick

‘Temporary’ Names

Vet clinics often have litters of kittens to raise. Either they’re too young for a shelter, too sickly, or the clinic intends to adopt them out when they’re big enough. Whatever the reason, nurses often end up raising kittens and giving them ‘temporary’ names. 

The intention of these temporary names is that if you give the kitten a stupid name, you have something to call it other than ‘the middle black male’, but because it’s a stupid name you wont get emotionally attached and end up keeping it. Again. 

Which is how some nurses end up with cats that have names like ‘Flea bus’ and ‘Trash bag’. 

Folks, I succumbed.

I ended up keeping Trash Bag.

He’s growing fast.

And getting into trouble

Happy post number 2500!

Tell Trashbag I love him

We love you Trashbag

Trash Bag chose Charmander.

I love this

This is my cat Fork

that cat looks like he knows his name is fork

How often do it be like that