Hey, everyone.

So, Tumblr is officially banning NSFW content. Despite their assurances that this does not include written or educational content, in practice this ban has affected both. pervocracy, a sex positive and educational blog, was deactivated before the ban was announced despite never posting any pornographic content; other allegedly “safe” content such as transition pictures have also been flagged. We cannot assume that the ban will not affect us.

Neither Wordpress nor Dreamwidth support the reblogging and anonymous messaging necessary to support the blog. If we ever move to Pillowfort, it will be well after the ban is enacted. We haven’t yet decided if we will delete the blog ourselves, but Tumblr may make that decision for us. 

When I started this blog seven years ago, I had no idea how much I would learn. I have learned so, so much: about sexual health, about relationships, about how vast and diverse and wonderful our experiences are. I’ve let the blog fall by the wayside in the past couple of years (law school will do that), but I’ve enjoyed every minute I’ve been here. I’m saddened and frustrated that it has to end on these terms, but I appreciate all of you.

If you are in need of resources:

I want to close by saying that despite what our society might say about it –despite what Tumblr might say about it – sex is not a bad thing. It is not wrong to want to learn about it, discuss it, witness it, or participate in it. It is not a negative, and banning it is not a “positive”: its existence is morally neutral.

Being exposed to information about sex is important to making healthy and informed decisions, setting boundaries, navigating relationships, and understanding oneself. Preventing access to this information only keeps people ignorant and less able to make choices for themselves.

If you shield someone’s eyes from something you find inappropriate or awkward or frightening, you may indeed be protecting them. But you are also keeping them in the dark. 

–BB

Likewise. Especially this part: Sex is not a bad thing. It is not wrong to want to learn about it, discuss it, witness it, or participate in it. It is not a negative, and banning it is not a “positive”: its existence is morally neutral. The ban begins tomorrow and I will be logging off soon. Still not sure if/when this place will return or be reborn on a different platform, so I wanted to say goodbye to the folks who are done with Tumblr. I have truly enjoyed working on this blog and doing my best to provide useful information. I hope that going forward you're able to find the right sex education resources for you. Best - SexEducationForPrudes

you have until december 17 to be horny. after that it’s illegal

scream @ “female presenting nipples”

Gender nonconforming nipples can stay but your on thin fucking ice

Remember when Tumblr was assigning all LGBT content as NSFW, and now we have really weird liberal policing of people’s “female” bodies in the rules? That’s an issue. The issue isn’t that people can’t nut, it’s a conversation about the severity of NSFW content, and what is and isn’t labeled NSFW. If you’re watching people a little uncomfortable that a site would just blanket ban all content marked NSFW, and you think they’re just Dumb Horny Idiots, like….. That’s part of the problem Bc there is a nuance here and Tumblr ISN’T reacting correctly in this situation. I’m gonna try to shut up more now but God it’s just frustrating

‘It’s the pregnant person’s choice’

I hate that coming out is like, entirely for the sake of cis&straight people. We come about because they can’t stop assuming that everyone else is cis&straight, we come out because they can’t stop being homophobic and transphobic and assuming that we are comfortable hearing it, we come out because they keep asking about why we don’t have a boyfriend yet or monitoring which bathroom we use. And then there’s the fact that cis&straight people are so invested in us coming out. They tell us it’s lying and deceptive when LGBT folks don’t come out to the point that they tell other people for us, they tell us that they “already knew” or “could tell” and brag about their gaydar or else they praise us by pretending it’s a compliment that they “never would’ve guessed”, then they go on to call us “brave” and “strong” for doing something we never should’ve had to do in the first place. And then there’s the idea that we are the ones who should feel ashamed about it and be told that they “still love us” despite the fact that it’s their hatred and bigotry that we’ve had to deal with the entire time we’ve known them and not the other way around. Coming out is the only milestone they think we have because it’s the one that they play the biggest role in and the one that they necessitate and I absolutely hate that about coming out.  

More important than asking “why doesn’t this person want me?” Is asking “why am I attracted to someone who isn’t interested in me and doesn’t value me?”

YES.

Needed this. Thank you!

Demisexual Dating Advice #11

Keep in mind that most dating advice is given with Allosexuals as the intended audience. That means that you have to take all of their advice with a grain of salt. Don’t take advice on sex from some magazine article and let it make you feel bad about yourself. Just because you don’t operate the same way as Allosexuals doesn’t make you “broken” or unworthy of love. 

Liking and wanting sex is absolutely fine and normal not liking nor wanting sex is also absolutely fine and normal  not being sure if you want or like sex is also absolutely fine and normal

Don’t let anyone make you believe you HAVE to want sex or you’re obligated to take part in it. Stay safe and live your lives the way that you want, friends. 

A little more about polyamory

Learn it. Live it. Love it. 

Respecting the people you’re having sex with is pretty bare minimum and the fact that y’all go out of your way to show you don’t is why you’re losers.

you gotta get to that point where a man who disrespects you becomes unattractive. that you become disgusted by a man who doesn’t treat you like you deserve to be treated. where it’s such a turn off to be with a man like that that no matter how you felt before, you know it’s time to get up and go. it’s a part of working on your self esteem, even when you’re not single

Patricia Fry (via spirituallyminded)

Can we please stop the White Feminist™ idea that naked = empowered?

Because I had to watch the Muslim girl in my history class lucture the class on Islam’s treatment of women and why she wears her hijab to feel closer to god, because some new girl in our class tried to coerce her into taking it off, and then proceeded to try to take it off her.

I made sure she was alright after class and she told me she’s used to it. I. Got. Pissed. Because this sweet girl is used to other people trying to rip her hijab off. I’m not Muslim, but from what I understand, that’s like being used to people trying to rip your shirt off of you.

Also, this idea doesn’t just threaten and offend Muslim women and girls. Because a lot of women and afab people don’t like being naked. It’s not empowering to them, it’s demeaning. For example, I don’t like being naked, because I just don’t feel comfortable with it. But still, my family still forces me to wear bikinis to the beach and thinks I’m self conscious just because I don’t want to wear the least amount of clothes possible.

So, in summary:

Destroy the White Feminist™ idea that Naked = Empowered

Female empowerment is the ability to chose to behave or dress as you wish.  Hard stop. If you, personally, feel empowered by walking around in public topless, more power to you.  However, if someone else is choosing to be covered from head to toe because that makes them feel empowered, then back the fuck off.  

The power is in the choice, not in the result.

Thank you, someone said it.

These are the best gender neutral new baby greeting cards I have ever seen in my entire life.

Cute!