im 800 years old idk

me when i find out a game has object physics

god didnt give me a dick at birth because it would have given me too much power and he knows.

For height dysphoric anon <3 i plan on getting some of these some day

Let’s talk dress clothes. With the holidays coming up some people’s family’s dress nice to go to family’s houses or to church and it was always really hard to find nice dress clothing that didn’t make me look weird or feel uncomfortable.

Let’s work our way from the feet up on this one.

Shoes:

When choosing dress shoes, if you down own anything you’re going to want to go for a black shoe. It goes with almost any color slack or shirt you’re going to realistically wear. NEVER Get square toed shoes. I literally mean never. We are not 80 year old men.

What you’re going to want for your first dress shoe:

Socks:

I really meant it when I said from the feet up. So for socks you’re pretty much gonna want to wear black socks. You can always match your socks to your slacks, it sometimes will help you appear taller when sitting but black will always be the go to when wearing black shoes.

Slacks:

Okay so this is a pretty big part of the outfit and finding slacks that fit and aren’t hundreds of dollars can be hard. I really like targets slacks because they have some stretch to them while being pretty affordable. I avoid Walmart for most clothing items because they don’t have different fits for men. When it comes to the fit you don’t want to wear skinny slacks. Slacks are supposed to be lose at the ankle at the very least. If you’re heavier and have wide hips do not get pleated pants (pictures below for the main two types of fronts). Avoid having them too long, pants should have anywhere from no break that looks great on shorter men, to a full break that’s great for taller men. (A break is how much material gathers at the bottom by your shoes) go for navy blue, black, or grey. Avoid any horizontal patterns.

Pleated with a full break and a cuff (what to avoid):



These slacks fit perfectly and have just enough length and a flat front (what to shoot for):

Belt:

When choosing a belt make sure get get your size, I somehow didn’t know that they have different sizes but YES they do. They are sized the same as men’s pants so if you wear a 32” in pants go for a 32” or 34”. No one wants that flappy end on the belt that just doesn’t quite reach the next belt loop. Now just remember this for choosing your belt and shoes: always match your leathers and metals!!

Shirt:

Okay when you’re wearing slacks and dress shoes you never really want to wear a short sleeve shirt. It never really hurts to have a white dress shirt and they are by far the cheapest, easiest, and have the most different cuts and fits. When sizing a shirt most of the time it’s done by the neck size but because I’m a little heavier, if it fits my neck it will be too big almost everywhere else. So what I usually opt to do is wear a shirt that fits everywhere but the neck. Most of the time I don’t wear a tie because I still look just as formal I’m just more comfortable lol. I usually opt for a slim fit medium shirt without a chest pocket. You can get one with a dress pocket but because I’m short when I tuck my shirt in it looks like the shirt is too big even if it fits.

This shirt is too tight. It should never pull at any of the buttons:

This shirt fits perfectly and is exactly how you should wear it if you aren’t wearing a tie:

Ties:

When wearing a tie the wider side Should always be longer than the small back side. Sometimes for us shorter men we have to tie it to make it fit and then tuck the back side through the second button. The tip of your tie should be no longer than the middle of your belt buckle. I personally hate the super skinny ties and think you’ll look much more manly and sophisticated with a slim but normal width tie. If you’re a much bigger guy you could also opt for a wider tie to make it look for proportional. If you buy a dress shirt that doesn’t fit in the neck I suggest that when you wear a tie, keep the top one unbuttoned but tighten your tie to where it’s comfortably tight. (Pictured below)

That’s all guys! If you have any questions specifically for your body types you can always send and ask or a message and I’ll do my best to help! I hope this helps for these stressful holidays, I know feeling good about your looks is always one less thing you have to worry about when with family for a long time. 

hey gamers..this is hard for me to post since it’s literally my biggest insecurity & looking at these makes me want to cry but heres my skin 2.5 months ago -> 1.5 months ago -> now! i broke out really really bad a few months into being on t, & though i’m still struggling w a few spots + hyperpigmentation/scarring i figured i’d share what worked for me! though everyone’s skin is different and you should experiment with finding what works for you, skincare isn’t one size fits all

routine:

morning

-cerave foaming facial cleaner

-cerave moisturizing cream

-differin 0.1%

-spot treatment cream with 10% benzoyl peroxide (only on active acne)

sometime during the day:

-retinol serum

-cosrx advanced snail 96 mucin powder essence

night:

-cerave foaming facial cleaner

-cerave moisturizing cream

-spot treatment cream with 10% benzoyl peroxide (again, only on active acne)

other stuff:

-i cut way down on dairy (this doesn’t make a difference for everyone)

-wash my pillowcase every few days (if i dont have time to wash it i’ll stretch a clean t shirt over it)

-trying to touch my face less

-starting to try & cut down on processed sugars

also please try to remember that acne is pretty much inevitable when you start testosterone! it’s hard to stop comparing yourself to your peers but they’ve all already gone through puberty, and you’re basically doing it again + faster! it’s natural, it doesn’t make you dirty or gross, and it isn’t forever

doctor: you know HRT is going to cause serious, irreversible changes to your body, right?

me:

There was an alien festival this weekend.

Happy birthday to my favorite comic in the world

this is like a group chat

The U.S. in a gif series.

Pls keep reblogging this till this become a classic tumblr post , because it needs to be

Seeing a Montana sunrise should be on everyone’s bucket list. They are pretty much unparalleled. 🌄

This is what happens to characters when you write an AU fanfic

Off goes Riker, to the coffee shop.

It took me 3 watches to realize the door is cardboard and this man is not just freakishly strong.

I assure you this is a standard interior door, usually only exterior doors are solid.

You can see the inside of the cardboard though.

This isn’t a real door, it’s a prop from a movie or TV set.

it has a paper honeycomb for rigidity, and that’s how interior doors are made for modern construction in the USA.

y'all have never kicked a hole in your bedroom door in a flurry of teenage hormonal rage and it shows

If I kicked my bedroom door I’d more likely break my foot than the door.

I always thought people punching through doors or shoving people through doors was just from the movies. Doors in my country are generally solid planks of wood, a polymer of sorts, or metal.

American homes are made extremely cheaply and aren’t built to last.

Steam from hot showers seeps into wall which are not treated to handle moisture, and mold grows in the walls.

Almost every wall or floor is made out of plywood.

Flimsy roofing that can withstand a run of the mill heavy storm, but not much more than that.

Weak foundations that wouldn’t hold up at all if it weren’t for how light and plywood-y the overall house is.

Not every American house is this shitty in all of these ways, but the vast majority of them are, and almost all of them have at least one of these problems. Even rich people’s homes.

Read this article.

https://dengarden.com/misc/American-Houses-and-Bad-Quality

Then watch this video.

Are we just ignoring this original post was about the OP looking for Elf Pussy or are we just totally past that?

It’s already been answered that there is no elf pussy here, so why dwell? 🤷🏾‍♂️

A guy goes to Las Vegas to gamble and he loses all his money. He doesn’t even have enough for a cab, but he flagged one down anyway. He explained to the driver that he would pay him back next time and gave him his phone number, but the driver told him, “Get the fuck out of my cab.”

He walked all the way to the airport and got home.

Some times rolls by and he decides to go back to Vegas again and this time he wins BIG.

He gets his bags and is ready for the airport with all his new winnings.

There are a line of cabs and at the very end he sees the driver from last time that kicked him out.

He stood for a moment thinking how can he get his revenge on that driver.

So, he gets in the first cab.

“How much is it to the airport?” he asks.

The driver says, “$15.”

“Great, how much is it for a blowjob on the way there?”

The cab driver says, “Get the fuck out of my cab.”

So he goes to the next one and asks the same thing.

“How much to airport?”

“$15.”

“Great, how much for a blowjob on the way there?”

And that cab driver also tells him to get the fuck out of his cab.

He does this all the way down the line of drivers, each one kicking him out.

He finally gets to the last driver, the one from his last trip.

He asks, “Hey how much to the airport?”

Driver responds, “$15.”

The guy hands him $15 and says, “Great let’s go!”

And so the driver leaves, slowly passing all the other drivers who are staring out their window while the guy in the back smiles back with a thumbs up.

Meet the adventure cat “Sukiicat”

when you havin pho for christmas dinner

Fuck this is so positive and I love it

THIS IS SO CUTE

LAST WEEK WE CAN USE THIS SOMEONE HIT THE PANIC BUTTON

DKFLSDKFJSDLFDSF