reblog if your tumblr is more popular than the Metaverse
i hate that i have to keep reminding people of this but if you are sending money to a sex worker for any service or content please do not put ANYTHING in the memo field unless told otherwise by the provider
don't try to be cute or funny with it, the best way to make them smile is by following directions 💕
Paypal, for one, will delete someone's account and steal their money if they catch a whiff of your transaction being in any way nsfw, DO NOT SAY SHIT, just silently send the money as you are told if you need to speak something regarding it do so via DIRECT MESSAGES and FAR from the program of the transaction
i would go as far as to say never to add notes to paypal transactions. i recently saw someone have their account frozen from buying anime vhs tapes, because the anime in question happened to have the word "persia" in the title.
you never know what kind of weird thing is going to trigger their algorithm, so just don't
It's been over a decade, but I'm still saddled with a lifetime ban from paypal and by extension venmo because one of my friends who was paying me back for buying him and his gf at the time dinner thought it would be funny to include "for sensual massage" in the notes section and not only did they not let the transaction go through they took back all the money anybody had EVER sent me via paypal, which thankfully wasn't much.
I drew every single robot/ai character that i could remember purely from memory. Try to spot your blorbo
(if you have multiple accounts just answer for your first or main one)
feetdavidson
I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. A guy asked me what the Spanish word for tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight
discoursethot
this same idiot: what kind of animal is the pink panther
me, already taking off my clothes: benjamin you’re so fucking stupid
oh my god the original out in the wild
an actual world heritage post
My friend group use that last expression a lot as a reaction, but then somebody said we needed a reaction for the exact inverse of this feeling, and so i created
Unpenis.
vexed by how Violently Green the green monster ultra is
this is radioactive green. this looks like the sort of thing you’d drop a guy in so they’d get superpowers or something. if i put a snail in here it’d come out with three eyes. this is what made the hulk green.
this is the shit queen deltarune is always drinking
[ID: photo of a bright, almost lime green, carbonated liquid in a styrofoam cup. end ID]
So you know Hope, the intersex kitten with no sex organs because of a condition so rare there isn't a name for it? I think that not only should that condition be named after them because they are very cute but also that the kitten is now an official spokescat for the intersex community. 'Mew' yes thank you Hope great point I love you.
Look at this silly kitty <3
And speaking of scurvy, I am eternally amused by the thing where some ancient form of healing that was born in a time where people didn't know exactly how the human body works, or what causes it to stop working sometimes, that still somehow worked. Like how so many old folk medicinal plants were listed as a cure for various ailments that - from a modern view - are clearly just symptoms of scurvy, and the plant itself is rich in vitamin C.
I recall reading some story, no recollection of the exact time or place, where the king of a large empire suffered from constant horrible headaches and was incapable of falling asleep unless drugged or blackout drunk. Sick of taking temporary fixes to dull the pain and having to be sedated every night, he called up some old sage healer who was said to know how to fix things nobody else could explain, and the healer heard his symptoms and went
"Hmm. You spend too much time being a king. Your skull is packed so full of kingly thoughts that they don't all fit in there and that's why your head is in pain. You need to spend time not being a king." And prescribed him to schedule three days every month where he must go to a peasant village where nobody knows he's the king, live with a family there under a fake name and identity, work in the rice fields with them, eating the same food and sleeping on the same mats. Absolutely nobody is allowed to address him as the king, speak to him of any royal or political matters, and he himself is not allowed to think any kingly thoughts or think of himself as the king.
And naturally, this worked. Taking a regular scheduled break from a highly stressful office desk job to completely decompress, paired with physical exercise in the form of hard but simple physical labour, plain and simple food and Just Not Thinking About Your Fucking Job All The Time does help chronic stress, which here was worded as "spending too much time being a king clogs your brain."
Sometimes you do have ghosts in your blood, though I'm not entirely sure whether you should do cocaine about it.
"posts that have 10k notes to me" then do it, coward. what's stopping you from reblogging it 250 times a day for 40 days? what's stopping you from clogging up everyone's dashboard? your own cowardice? your flimsy spine, made of not bone but lime-flavored jell-o? get out of my sight
Little goat!
My friend @kuropin is funding a little goat plushie! If you’d like one, please consider supporting her here!
If you come in you don’t have to come out
the way this is like baaaaarely parody