Excuse The Mess

Genuinely motivational image thank you Diego from ice age

the only place i feel i belong is in my BEDROOM on my BED

Q. What if picot bind-off, but drippy?

Extremely brief explanation: Do a series of k-yo-k into the top stitch of the picot, then transfer that whole group of stitches to the left-hand needle and bind them all off in order.

A more detailed discussion of picots, with pictures, under the cut.

Keep reading

one of the worst adhd things ever is wanting to trick yourself into doing tasks so you make up fake deadlines to give yourself a sense of pressure but then your adhd goes ‘is that a Real deadline with immediate consequences or a fake one to make our life more organized? :/‘ and then you go ‘it’s a fake one to make our life more organized 😔’ and then the task doesn’t get done

Learning to delete/mute/block before a negative comment takes root in your mind is a modern survival skill. If you're going to wander the overgrown countryside of the internet, you need to develop a quick eye for ticks.

It's deeply tempting to respond to the "well, actually," to the cruel assumption, to the unjust accusation, to the odious viewpoint. It's tempting because you're defaulting to the etiquette of dinner conversation. This isn't a dinner conversation. Someone is shouting at you from a moving car. Turn away.

I had this professor in college that didn’t like to say “bless you,” so he said that every semester he asks each class what they’d like to say when someone sneezes. So he randomly asked this one guy what we should all say when someone sneezes & the guy said “I don’t really care,” as in like he didn’t care what we said when someone sneezes. So from that point on, for the next 16 weeks, when someone sneezed in class the professor looked at them completely straight faced and said, “I don’t really care.”

I say GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!

Kowalski, analysis.

Dead, Skipper

i'm fucking shrieking with laughter. It sounds like his dick is a deranged yard sprinkler or a terrified pigeon turned loose in an apartment.

That fuckin smile at the end

To the worried person in the comments: 

No, a hummingbird’s heart will not stop if it stops moving. You’re possibly thinking of Spoink, which is a Pokemon that supposedly powers its heart by bouncing, and as such can’t stop moving. Hummingbirds don’t sit often because they’re busy looking for food, but they can and do sit. The females sit on eggs in nests, after all, and they do have to sleep. 

Fun fact: the leg muscles of a hummingbird are so stripped down to save on weight that they cannot walk. They can step sideways along a branch or other perch, but they cannot go forward without taking flight.

However they absolutely do stop moving. In fact, hummingbirds hibernate! Overnight. Instead of sleeping. Because if they tried to sleep like a normal animal their hyperactive metabolism would mean that they starve to death before breakfast.

Unrelated fun fact: the primary Aztec god of war would take on the form of a hummingbird, and the souls of the bravest warriors were said to turn into hummingbirds in order to join him after death, presumably because every hummingbird is approximately four grams of pure concentrated asskicking which fears no man nor beast and will gladly throw down with somebody seventeen thousand times their size if offended.

this is a really cool post and i love seeing such a small bird but reading “No, a hummingbird’s heart will not stop if it stops moving. You’re possibly thinking of Spoink” killed me 

Sometimes tumblr activism is just. So tiring. They’re like “you are personally responsible for every world wide tragedy and need to solve it by guilt tripping on the internet” and I’m like. Y’all. I was sitting on the bench

music teachers: i'm going to simplify the terminology for these teenagers so they're not intimidated by a swarm of italian and french

dance teachers: if these 7 year olds don't know it's called a pas de bourrée pas de chat fouetté plié en deuxième coq au vin what's the point

dance: our naming convention seeks to maintain and honour tradition and live the ancient beauty. perhaps if we speak the same language as balanchine we can achieve his greatness

music: it called oompah cause it go oom and then it go pah

“…you come to MY HOUSE…?!?!?!?”

theres a knight in my backyard stabbing the ground with his sword trying to render my soil barren by killing the worms but luckily ive trained them all in classical ballet and they keep pirouetting away from the blade

you can’t get sentences like this anywhere else

I love beluga whales because their faces are always like this