you’re all my enemy until proven otherwise

Im obsessed with this piece where The Washington Post tries to interview dril with a straight face

hey this article is really fucking good 

Scientists have discovered a way to make love with your vegetables and they are calling it wok

when you download a pdf and it's called like 1328723486basdf12.pdf but then you gently rename it to what it's supposed to be. that's forming a bond with a hurt and wild mythological creature and reminding it who it is.

@vesselvindicate get peer reviewed

how could you...

starting to wonder if you guys think im a fish…..

you, reading this. you're a creature now. reblog to creature your followers

get creatured idiot

oh thank fuck i thought i was never gonna get creatured

@sepheraph

yknow i was wondering why i recognized this guy and then the username watermark finally caught my eye. and yall. its him.

WHAT?

this clip is only one and a half minutes but manages to fit so many hard-hitting goofs

having a job < playing league all day

If you needed to ask a 15th century alchemist for a vape pen, you would ask for "a fulminated vapor of cannabis lixivium"

Anyway throws you into the big pit that transports you back in time to Wurtenberg in 1508.

Not my problem lol

op is posting from tamriel. or perhaps the lands between

ah the world is so beuatiful and wonderfull peace on earth forever and foreevr

My colleagues are so fuckin stupid and I don’t know whether to blame them individually or blame Society™

Me: you see a relationship needs to be mutually beneficial. If you’re both not getting something you want it’s a bad relationship.

47 y/o man with 3 kids:

Real conversation I had with my dad

Me: I don’t personally understand the desire to have children, or why do many feel like failures when they’re unable to

Dad: (in that voice that indicates he thinks he’s about to drop some real Knowledge™️ on me) well you have to understand; if you reach a certain age and don’t have children, people will look at you weirdly. Nobody wants that

Me: …You’re saying you were peer pressured into having a baby? Like you were afraid of being “the weird kid” except you were a grown man with a job? Do you think that’s a good thing?

Dad:

If your political demands for liberation are not backed up by violence, then all you're doing is negotiating with your oppressor

even negotiating needs the threat of violence. otherwise it’s just begging. its the threat of violence that brings those in power to the table for even the most half-assed, milquetoast, piecemeal reforms.