“dude” but romantically - wolfstar, marylily, rosekiller

“babe” but platonically - prongsfoot, moonflower, marylene, pandora/regulus (what is their ship name)

“sweetheart” but like rivalry - dorlene, jegulus

#yes #absolutely yes #wolfstar

sensenmaedchen

wickedest-of-roses

politijohn

Source

pretends to be shocked

#bro #who tf #wouldve thunk #that if you give someone money #they will be less poor #thats crazy #thats mad

sensenmaedchen

wickedest-of-roses

alagaisia

Hey. Why isn’t the moon landing a national holiday in the US. Isn’t that fucked up? Does anyone else think that’s absurd?

alagaisia

It was a huge milestone of scientific and technological advancement. (Plus, at the time, politically significant). Humanity went to space! We set foot on a celestial body that was not earth for the first time in human history! That’s a big deal! I’ve never thought about it before but now that I have, it’s ridiculous to me that that’s not part of our everyday lives and the public consciousness anymore. Why don’t we have a public holiday and a family barbecue about it. Why have I never seen the original broadcast of the moon landing? It should be all over the news every year!

alagaisia

It’s July 20th. That’s the day of the moon landing. Next year is going to be the 54th anniversary. I’m ordering astronaut shaped cookie cutters on Etsy and I’m going to have a goddamn potluck. You’re all invited.

watermelon-converse

Hey. Hey. Tumblr. Ides of March ppl. We can do this

durnesque-esque

sensenmaedchen

tantefledermaus

screwtornadowarningsimsouthern

Okay so I did some research, very basic research, on the user base of tumblr and how many of us there are.

There are at least 300 million unique visitors worldwide on this site. Over 500 million blogs.

Listen. Tumblr is $30 million in debt. This is Super easy for us to solve.

If each user gifts one blog crabs, which costs slightly over $3, that would be roughly $600 million at least. Far more than enough to get Tumblr out of the red zone.

If we want tumblr to stay afloat and not change something as integral about their operating system, we need to show them they can be profitable without reducing themselves to common social media sites. What we have here is special. It is different. We are the social media site people run to when theirs collapses and for good reason.

If we want this to work, we have to make it work. We can even make it into a game. Just how long can we outlast the other social media sites?

screwtornadowarningsimsouthern

Yes that’s exactly what I’m saying.

oracleoutlook

It needs to be a holiday. Pick a date a few weeks from now, and just make it Crab Day. Maybe a Saturday as a lot of people are paid on Fridays. Just in case this post becomes more popular than any I've had before, lets set the date as the last Saturday in July (which for us in 2023 will be July 29th.)

On July 29th, gift as many crabs as you can without breaking the bank. Post crab memes if you cannot afford a crab.

Tumblr can pull this off. Tumblr likes doing things like this.

clawedandcute

Guys there's an account for this now @crab-day-counter

Anonymous asked:

Hello there! Could we have a cursed fact about turkey vultures? Thanks,

bunjywunjy answered:

you’ve probably heard that most vultures have bald heads so they don’t get all yuck while going about their daily business.

(their daily business is sticking their entire head into rotting carcasses)

and this is true, but maybe you didn’t know that turkey vultures in particular have a moveable neck ruff!

so when it gets cold, they can just-

zip it up.

comfy cozy!

is-the-owl-video-cute

And it isn’t JUST turkey vultures. This is a shared skill among every new world vulture.

Ah, what a nice warm day.

Whoops! A cool breeze! Time to zip up my hoodie!

Just a vulture being a vulture.

Uh oh! Turtleneck time!

When you’re meeting the boys for dinner at 6 but have a fashion walk at 7.

Rarest turtleneck in the continent.

And yes, they absolutely do deploy the turtleneck in colder weather just like humans might. Some species are more often seen with it deployed and the opposite is true for others.

ashedink

Oh this makes much more sense. I’m not sure why, but somewhere along the line I became convinced that it had to do with reaching maturity, like how bald eagles don’t get their white head and tail until they’re about five years old.

But this. That’s what I look like on a cold, wet winter day, too.

is-the-owl-video-cute

If they feel a single rained drop they pull their turtleneck up. They hate rain on their bare little head and necks. They crave umbrellas.

You aren’t wrong to associate it with age though. Juvenile vultures tend to have the turtleneck deployed almost always. Andean condors also get a larger caruncle and more prominent flaps of skin when the turtleneck is not activated as they age, so it is more emphasized when adults are going bare necked

sensenmaedchen

tantefledermaus

luulapants

Rating the birds in my backyard by tendency toward violence

Northern Cardinal, 4/10

I'm sometimes worried the male is sexually harassing the female but I'm pretty sure they're just doing some elaborate public pickup roleplay. The rest of us didn't agree to participate in your kink, guys.

American Robin, 1/10

Literally just some dude hanging out. Never bothered anyone but worms. Big fan of the way you just stand there in the middle of the grass like you forgot what you were supposed to be doing.

House Sparrow, 10/10

You're a gang. You're participating in gang violence. There's ten billion of you living in a single wood pile and it's been civil war for three years now. When will the bloodshed end?

Tufted Titmouse, 1/10

A shy baby. A pretty little guy. I saw you on the neighbor's garage roof and time stopped. There were anime sparkles around you. Come back.

European Starling, 9/10

Why is it always you? Listen, I know, I KNOW the sparrows are the problem, and YET. When the fighting starts, it's always you in the middle of it, provoking them and then screaming like you're an innocent bystander defending yourself. I'm onto you.

Carolina Wren, 3/10

This rating is not for physical violence, which you don't engage in, but for your role as an incurable narc. A tattle tale. I know they're fighting again, okay? I see it. Our yard has been a warzone for years, you don't have to make a big announcement every time someone misbehaves.

Eastern Wood-Peewee, 0/10

If this were "birds who think they're better than everyone else," you'd get 10/10.

Red-bellied Woodpecker, 6/10

It's a utility pole. It's not a tree. You're surrounded by trees that are full of bugs. But there you are, on the utility pole. Committing vandalism.

American Crow, unrated

For who am I to cast judgment on the actions of La Famiglia? I assume you are doing what is best for the neighborhood. If I could, though, without criticism, make a single observation. That when large numbers of you gather in the ominous dead cottonwood - no? No, you're right. None of my business.

Great Crested Flycatcher, 5/10

Frankly, I think you could be doing more. I think your name implies a great potential. I think you should massacre the insects. I think your beak should drip with viscera.

Stay tuned for more criminal activity!

luulapants

(continued)

Common Grackle, 7/10

La Famiglia does not suffer you to stop in our neighborhood long, and I trust their judgement in this manner. You have the look of a guilty bird.

Tennessee Warbler, 2/10

You keep to yourselves, and I respect that. I get the sense that you could defend yourselves if it came to it, though.

Brown-Headed Cowbird, 3/10

You're not a crow, and eventually they ARE going to figure it out, kiddo.

Gray Catbird, 5/10

Would you. Respectfully. Would you shut the FUCK UP.

Eurasian Collared-Dove, 0/10

You're doing great, sweetie, everyone loves you.

Red-Breasted Nuthatch, 4/10

A comedian. A little jester of a bird. You're so silly. Sure sometimes you incite violence in others but, really, is that your fault? If it is, we forgive you.

Blue Jay, 12/10

If you could learn any human behavior you wanted, it would be how to build a bomb.

Honorable mention:

Turkey Vulture, 5/10

You weren't in my backyard, but you WERE eating roadkill in the street in my neighborhood. I know the animal was already dead when you got there, but you get violence points for frightening the small children that walked past you. Incredible work.

Hi Barbie!⭐️💕

#argh #this is cute as fuck #i like it a lot

sensenmaedchen

gunsandfireandshit

jessicalprice

remembering that time I explained on Twitter that Jews are 0.2% of the world’s population and control like 1.2% of its wealth

while Christians are 30-something percent of the world’s population and control 55% of its wealth

so, like, there IS a minority of the world’s population controlling the majority of its wealth

Christians.

and of course a bunch of utter walnuts were like “SEE??? this proves that Jews ARE disproportionately wealthy!!!”

which, like, sure

sure

we have $1.20 to Christians’ $55

but sure, individually we average out to having a bit more pocket change than the world’s average

a couple of things, though:

-those are AVERAGES—it doesn’t mean that every Jew you meet is wealthy, especially because…

-we are such a small population that the existence of *one Jewish billionaire* would skew the average, learn what an average is ffs, if there are 10 of us and 1 is a billionaire and the rest of us have $0 dollars, on average we each have $100,000,000 but in reality 9 of us still have $0 dollars

-y’all killed off a LOT of our poor people less than a century ago which also tends to skew the average

The minority group (in the sense of being less than half the population; they’re still the largest religion) controlling the majority of the world’s wealth is Christians. Sorry about your favorite conspiracy theory.

spacelazarwolf

y’all killed off a LOT of our poor people less than a century ago which also tends to skew the average

i want to print that out and staple it to ppl's foreheads. a lot of the jews who fled extreme violence, genocide, and ethnic cleansing were only able to do so because they had the funds. those who couldn't afford to leave were killed. and those who were barely able to scrape by enough to escape usually were forced into assimilation wherever they immigrated because poverty doesn't give you much of a choice.