There are three breeds of cat:

Chonk

Goblin

Yeah that looks like a cat

Subcategories of breeds:

Floof

Naked

Normal

This is my favorite post

Limmy, in a heavy Glasgow accent: “If you’re a cat owner, you may sometimes wonder, do you own the cat, or does the cat own you? …It’s you that owns the cat, you daft bastard.”

Is this the feathers and steel guy??

new cryptid everyone!

MY NEW FAVORITE VIDEO

it’s like we got vine back for a brief moment

not to be a monsterfucker but this sphinx is…..kinda sexy

ma’am i will answer your riddles any day of the week

sphinx got him

Pretty sure she counts as monstrous lol

oh so we’re gatekeeping monsterfucking now huh

to be fair gatekeeping is kind of sphinxes thing

:D

“Those poor boys”

“She deserves to be punished too.”

“I’m not saying I support rape, but-”

“Sorry to say - she deserved it.”

“She put herself in harm’s way”

“But if she was fingered, then that’s not rape.”

“She ruined their lives.”

“Well she didn’t exactly say ‘no’..”

“Yea, but did you see what she was wearing?”

“Boys will be boys!”

“She should know better than to drink at a party…”

Cannot not reblog.

“She should have tried to enjoy–”

“She’s just saying something now for atten-“

boy am i glad this has so many notes

“But he’s a dude. That’s not ra-”

  “He should’ve enjoyed it.”

“She must’ve lead him on.”

“But she orgasmed. That means she liked it - “

“She’s slept with so many people! She’s a slut-“

“Get over it, at least you’re still a virgin”

“Women can’t rape because…”

“Be grateful it wasn’t a man!”

“I’m sorry she hurt you but don’t call what happened to you rape, it’s an insult to the REAL victims…”

“You weren’t raped, you’re just lesbophobic.”

“She shouldn’t have posted provocative photos!”

“She shouldn’t have been dressed like that … she was asking for it!”

“It’s the woman’s responsibility to not put herself in dangerous situations, she should have been more aware.”

reblogging because it’s gotten even better since last time

I love this post!

“Well he paid for dinner, she kind of owed him.”

“She’s his wife, it’s her job to please him.”

“Oral isn’t rape.”

“Well he wasn’t armed, she could have walked away.”

“Guys can’t be raped, they love sex!”

“She didn’t fight back; it wasn’t rape.”

A good post

the day I do not reblog this is the day I’m buried six feet under

T̼̦H̡͚̫̿Ę̮̜͜ ̲D͕̰Ḁ͒ͬY̶̮͛̀̈ ̶̳͈̕͞I͢ ̬͈ͫ͞D̷͇͢O͕ ̵̡̮̲́N̡̼̎O͏Tͦͤ̒̈͠ ̟̯͘͞ Ŗͧͮ̀ÈͥBΙ̙̙̉҉L̺Ơ̽͠Gͪ ͒T̕͠H̵̿ͪIͪS͉̤̭ ̀̿͟I̸̋͑̀S̸҉ͥ͘͘ ̵̢̤̈́͝T̜̙̊̎H͈͍̘͌͢Ë̛̳͖̟ ͉̦̀̋D͍́̕͟Ā͞Y̦҉̶ͮ̒ ͊Iͤ’̙ͥ̋͟M̞͏ͩͤ҉ ̱ B̐Ι̿U̷̓R̥ͤ̈́͋I̻ͭ͗̕̕E̽͜D̢͉̠ ̷̌ͥ̀S̵͇ͩI̔X̦́̐̈́ͮ ̨̯̰ͥͫF̨̝̮͊É̗̯̕E͌̈́̕Ṫ̖͏͕̔ ̪̻̗̥U̹ͯN̵̺D̤̄̍Ë̴R̾ͩ҉̜ ̼̀̆

^EVILHAIKU^bot^2. I li̕ke̛ you! \ (•◡•) / | PayPal | Patreon

I like that people included male rape victims as well! This is a good post

“Hes lucky”

“But they’re smaller than you , you couldve fought”

“If he was hard then he liked it!”

“Boys cant be raped.”

oh I almost forgot

“Its only rape of she was drunk not him. ”

Reblog if you support squishy bellies, have a squishy belly, or have the desire to summon satan

you’re the reason i want to get better

Now that I have enough money, I can finally buy sex!

ok universe, i’m ready to feel good things. make me feel good things.

whenever i post this it works  reblog if u want to feel good things & the universe will bring u something sweet 

“Call Me Maybe” with every other beat removed

YOU’RE STUBBORN, JEANS STOLEN, NIGHT ROWING

THINK YOU’RE BABY?

your tumblr avatar is who you are on the outside, and your discord avatar is your true self

me: *is sad*

some random shiny thing with no function or monetary value half buried in the dirt at the bus stop:

me: oh ho HOOO

we’re all just crows with rights and anxiety

Rights?!

you don’t understand i would sell my firstborn to know how this story started

Well it all started when Mrs. Hayfer wanted me to babysit her dumb house. When I got the keys, I sat them on top of this pie that I found on the counter. I knew it was going to be given to the family for desert if I didn’t eat it soon, so I was going to plan to eat it in my teacher’s house and dump all the crumbs on her bed. So it’s a win-win, right? Besides, she wouldn’t find out about the crumbs until after I was paid, and this teacher hates me anyway. Then, I got distracted when this hot cheerleader calls me, asking about what movie I’d recommend, but before I could answer, I realize that my mom would be there any second to serve dinner, and there was no way I was sharing that pie. So I bust out of there with the pie and the keys, and the moment I get in the house, I start chowing down on the pie with my bare hands, trying to eat this thing before anyone knows I took it, right? Well, since the pie crust was dry, I chugged a 2-liter bottle of soda whenever my throat would get dry and eventually, I really needed “to go.” Only when I went to flush, the water wouldn’t stop flowing and there was no plunger to be found. Usually I’d just shrug and say it was Josh’s fault or something, but let’s get real here, Mrs. Hayfer would’ve blamed me about her toilet overflowing if I was 30 states away. So I jammed my foot in there, hoping it’d make the toilet stop flushing. Then my phone rings, and I knew it was my mom, asking where her pie went, and because Meghan decided it’d be a great idea to make my ring tone a bunch of cats meowing, Mrs. Hayfer’s dog, Tiberius starts freaking out, bashing into the door over and over again. Now anyone who knows this dog knows that this dog will happily eat anything, and that includes the pie, and probably myself.  So my foot’s totally stuck in there right, I’m freaking out, the dog’s having a seizure and I still got half a pie left. 

BLESS YOU

When you turn 18, you have to choose a life goal. When you complete that goal, your life ends, but until that goal is complete, you can’t die. Some people choose hard goals to live forever, some choose something with their best friend so that they die at the same time. 

I made a horrible mistake.

Everyone has to declare a life goal when they turn 18, and when the goal is completed, you have fulfilled your purpose and are free to pass.

I’d had a little too much fun with the guys the night before he ceremony, took some stuff I probably shouldn’t have, and when it was my turn to declare, I was still a little out of it.

It was a bit of a joke, just a remnant of the shit talking last night when all of us were off the chain. There was silence in the auditorium, an entire two seconds of an awkward void before the far too-polite applause began. At the very least I’ll be remembered as one of those people who has a dumb goal, right?

I was so very wrong. I shouldn’t have taken this so lightly. I shouldn’t have partied so hard.

That was so very long ago I have stopped counting the years. I don’t know what hellscape I was born in where you aren’t able to die until you complete your life goal, but here we are.

The joke was to be the last man standing among my friends. But I wasn’t that specific. I’m still able bodied, as I play catch with my great….. 17 greats, I think…. grandchildren. At least I won’t turn into a cricket like…… that dude in the Greek myth. Eternal life but not eternal youth.

Even THAT was so long ago. I’ve worked every job, gotten every degree, seen all the drama, and tasted every kind of food. Immortality is not a gift, it’s a curse.

I should have picked something simple, like my wife. She passed away peacefully at 97, with our two-week old great-granddaughter in her arms.

Companionship is hard. I’ve been called rip van winkle so many times I think I might just legally change my name to that….. oh wait, I did that already too. Nobody wants to date someone several thousands of years older than them……Has it been thousands? Or hundreds of thousands? I gave up keeping track a long time ago.

Most people left to colonize other planets a while back. I haven’t seen another human on earth in a long time. The wildlife has started to spring back now that the climate has recalibrated itself……again. Funny how that works. People always talked about how aliens would freak out about how durable and resilient humans are, but it turns out, we’re just a product of our environment.

How do I deal with the loneliness? I guess I’ve become accustomed to it. But, on a deeper level, just the fact that I’m still alive today is proof that I’m not truly alone down here.

And when I am finally, truly and completely alone, at least it won’t be for very long.

you know, i was expecting the punchline to be, everyone else in the auditorium sat down and you died immediately.