“why won’t they like me?”
[image descriptor: the collector sits on a little stump of snow, facing right, cradled into himself, he’s clutching his hat while his head rests on his knee. he’s next to a little snowman shaped like the titan that’s in front of him, to the right. inspired by the recent still released for watching and dreaming. ]
we could be covered in blood together if you stopped playing hard to get
"Hey, asshole! How ya been? I hear you've been busy! Heard a lot of things, actually! Funny stuff."
“Oh look what the cat spat up,” Tamatoa sneered with a lazy roll of his eyes. “What’s the matter? Run out of self-serving ‘heroic deeds’ for the humans?”
His eyestalks bent forward. “And what do you mean ‘funny stuff?’“
Maui pretended to study his nails. “Heard you’re pretending to be a dad now. That’s sweet! Jay give you a hand with that? --Or a whole arm, really?” Master of subtlety, yes.
Alright, so ‘fight’ was off the table. … She would still very much prefer to talk to whoever this was with something between her and him, so she angled herself upwards and made for the surface. Besides, he might have been able to be heard underwater… Somehow… But she couldn’t. So once she clambered back on board, she sat down near the bow with the spear across her knees and called down.
“Alright, who are you? … And what the fuck is a tiger?” ______________________________ Oh, okay, cool! Fish lady! Probably not a demigoddess, if his shapeshifting had surprised her that much, but still an interesting acquaintance to make. Deciding to take the woman’s next words as an invitation to join her on the boat, Maui leapt up out of the water as the dolphin and landed on the deck as something a little more space-conscious. Girls liked iguanas, right? “Hiya,” he replied lazily, and settled down on the deck of the ship as though he owned it, crossing his clawed front feet. “Really diggin’ your whole look here. Love the gills. Very fashion-forward!”
Fortunately, Mana did in fact like lizards in general. She had to resist the urge to reach out and pet him even as she tensed up. Dammit, she got on the boat to put something between them…
“So aside from a shapeshifter and a bit of an ass, what are you? I did ask you a question, after all,” she insisted.
“You’re fun. I like you already,” Maui snickered, swiping a paw (foot? hand?) playfully in the woman’s direction. “Okay! Well, hi. The name’s Maui. What about you- what’s your handle?” Come to think of it, he didn’t recognize this little chain of islands. Not something he’d ever pulled up, anyway, which also meant it was likely he was rather unheard-of here. Supposed it couldn’t all be devoted villages and fantastic feasts, anyway... Maybe this woman was a particularly well-traveled fish-person.
YO Magnus here! My SOs are in a really bad way right now, and they need food and necessities and I’m states away and I can’t help them directly Anyway!! I’m re-opening my writing commissions!! I’ll write smut, fluff, romance, found family, pretty much anything under the sun, with a focus on the Adventure Zone, here : ) My AO3 account is http://archiveofourown.org/users/MonsterParade/works, feel free to browse if you’re considering!! (I’m pretty good if I do say so myself) I usually charge two cents per word, but if you really want to help us out a little and don’t think you can afford that, please message me and we can try to discuss rates. If you can’t help, please boost! Thank you!! <3
(This is way OOC, but this is a reblog from one of my other blogs, and I would REALLY appreciate some help. Naturally, since I’m posting this here too, Moana fanfiction is totally up for grabs, as well as any fandom I’ve written for before at my AO3 http://archiveofourown.org/users/MonsterParade/works Also probably quite a few others, if you’d like to ask!! I love doing self-inserts/reader-inserts and OCs, as well, so if you’re looking for something to indulge yourself, I have got you covered.)
Can confirm, excellent booty. Jay is a lucky lady to have such an ass in her life.
“And yet she never capitalizes on it! Sigh. I’ll just have to admire it myself.”
Alright, so ‘fight’ was off the table. … She would still very much prefer to talk to whoever this was with something between her and him, so she angled herself upwards and made for the surface. Besides, he might have been able to be heard underwater… Somehow… But she couldn’t. So once she clambered back on board, she sat down near the bow with the spear across her knees and called down.
“Alright, who are you? … And what the fuck is a tiger?” ______________________________ Oh, okay, cool! Fish lady! Probably not a demigoddess, if his shapeshifting had surprised her that much, but still an interesting acquaintance to make. Deciding to take the woman’s next words as an invitation to join her on the boat, Maui leapt up out of the water as the dolphin and landed on the deck as something a little more space-conscious. Girls liked iguanas, right? “Hiya,” he replied lazily, and settled down on the deck of the ship as though he owned it, crossing his clawed front feet. “Really diggin’ your whole look here. Love the gills. Very fashion-forward!”
"Hey, cupcake! So, uh, you ready to let me destroy Tamatoa yet-? We can get you a NEW muse. A better one!"
“Maui, no. I already told you it wasn’t his fault and besides, he’s got kids now. Sass, sure, maybe a ‘friendly fight,’ but destroy? No.”
She chuckled, crossing her arms as she shifted her weight onto one leg.
“Besides, who would I take on as my next muse? Anybody in mind?”
“Uh, how about literally anybody? Like Moana! Or another me could be really cool- hell, I’d let you get away with that dumb chicken if you’d ditch the crab!”
“Ooooh no. If I tried to take another you as a muse, you two would constantly be trying to one-up each other, I can already tell.”
She tapped his cheek and smiled teasingly.
“Plus, I’m pretty sure you’d get jealous really quick, big guy.”
Maui snorted. “I obviously have seniority, so I’d be in charge kind of automatically. Obviously,” The urge to try to lick Jay’s hand as she patted his face was nearly overwhelming, but as funny as it might be, often-times humans didn’t appreciate those tricks of his which involved spit.
"Hey, cupcake! So, uh, you ready to let me destroy Tamatoa yet-? We can get you a NEW muse. A better one!"
“Maui, no. I already told you it wasn’t his fault and besides, he’s got kids now. Sass, sure, maybe a ‘friendly fight,’ but destroy? No.”
She chuckled, crossing her arms as she shifted her weight onto one leg.
“Besides, who would I take on as my next muse? Anybody in mind?”
“Uh, how about literally anybody? Like Moana! Or another me could be really cool- hell, I’d let you get away with that dumb chicken if you’d ditch the crab!”
What happened next did so in a few steps. First, Mana registered that she was not alone and jumped with a startled screech. Second, she tried to brace with one foot behind her, but misjudged how far the distance between her heel and the edge of the raft was, and put her weight down on nothing. Third, that in combination with Maui upsetting the balance of said vessel by leaning on the bow knocked her further off-center and sent her sprawling backwards into the water.
She regained her balance underwater, and nearly choked when she saw just how large her guest was. Quick as anything, she snatched off the spearhead- well, more like a bayonet from the way it detached- and darted around him a little quicker than one might expect from a humanoid in water… Well, then again, webbed digits. … She needed to make a choice quickly- fight or flight? _________________________ Maui was laughing before he had a chance to catch himself. “Whoa, hey, hey, easy there, tiger!” he guffawed. Still in his shapeshifted form, his voice rang out as clearly through the water as it would through air, although his mouth didn’t move with the words. So the woman was a little quicker than expected, a little more canny. It would still take a lot more than a spear to be a threat to him- and besides, it would only be a fight if she made it that way. With a crackle of blue Maui changed his form again, and a bottlenose dolphin bobbed playfully around Mana in place of the serpent, doing a little loop-de-loop in the water. “To be fair, I did warn you about the boat!”
me, laying on top of my significant other: hey
me, from underneath my significant other: *wheeze* what’s up?
“Uh-”
The corner of the blanket smacked Maui in the face as he failed to catch it, too distracted staring at the bizarre critter that had followed Jay out of the other room. “Is that…yours?” he asked, waving a hand towards the little pink monster. It was surely some kind of pet, he assumed, something that big couldn’t sneak into a house and stay unnoticed for long. What kind of animal it could be, however, eluded him for the moment. He kept his eyes locked on the sphynx. “You look like a raw chicken,” he told it, and propped a hand on his hip.
“She kind of does, doesn’t she?” Jay chuckled. She was used to ther pet getting some strange looks. She set the pillows down and sat down beside Maui, and the little sphynx hopped onto her lap with an adorable ‘mrrrp.’
“Yeah, she’s mine,” Jay answered. “Since you’d never been in my house before, makes sense you haven’t met her. This is Bastet. She’s a type of cat.”
“NYAOW-RRRR!”
… Surprisingly loud meow for such a little cat. But Jay reacted as if it were normal.
“She likes to cuddle, so if you’re as good a pillow as you say you are she might curl up right next to you, if you’re alright with that.” She smiled sheepishly. “I know she’s a bit unusual though, so if you’re not comfortable with that, I understand.
“NYAOW-RRR!”
Another meow and Bastet hopped up onto Jay’s shoulders, and after a second or two to regain her footing, she hopped up onto Maui’s.
“I think she likes you.”
Maui huffed out a surprised breath as the little cat leapt up onto his shoulder, but he made no move to push her off, instead reaching over with his other arm to let the animal smell him. He was grinning. “Hey, friend of yours, friend of mine,” he replied, and gave Bastet a little pat on the head with two fingers. “Trust me, I’ve seen a lot weirder. She’s kinda cute!” Careful now not to tip Bastet off of his shoulders untimely, the demigod leaned over slightly to tug on Jay’s sleeve, motioning her towards him. “So are you gonna snuggle up too or what?” he teased, and opened his arms.
Fine? Fine? Maui had great doubts about how fine someone could be after being torn rather handily apart by a monster, but he bit his lip and swallowed his words, determined to offer at least some comfort here. Keep his temper in check.
“Oh! Uh, I was just gonna lay on. You know, the floor?” he chuckled, running a hand through his curls almost sheepishly. “That’s just sturdier, yeah? I could lay on the floor next to your bed if ya want, though.” He didn’t think he’d ever actually laid in a modern-day mattress, himself, but he’d seen them and was 90% sure that all but the sturdiest would take some form of damage from his considerable heft. Last thing he wanted to do was flatten Jay’s bed into the floor!
“Well… if that’s what you wanna do, alright. Let me just go grab some blankets and pillows then.” She carefully stood up again, running her hand through Maui’s hair as she got to her feet. “There’s more space out here in the living room, so we’d probably be more comfortable out here.”
She disappeared into her bedroom for a moment, and one complaint from a disturbed sleeping cat later, she reappeared with a king-sized quilt blanket in one arm and two pillows with gray cases in the other. The cat followed behind her… a skinny little pink sphynx with dark yellow eyes that stared curiously at Maui.
“Think one blanket’s enough?” Jay asked as she tossed it to him. “I think I have more in the closet if not.
“Uh-” The corner of the blanket smacked Maui in the face as he failed to catch it, too distracted staring at the bizarre critter that had followed Jay out of the other room. “Is that...yours?” he asked, waving a hand towards the little pink monster. It was surely some kind of pet, he assumed, something that big couldn’t sneak into a house and stay unnoticed for long. What kind of animal it could be, however, eluded him for the moment. He kept his eyes locked on the sphynx. “You look like a raw chicken,” he told it, and propped a hand on his hip.
(sQUINTS) Maui! Am I dreaming or is that really you? (it's Azura btw!)
“Zu? Aue, kid, where have you been? I thought you just dropped off’a the planet or something!”
It took a few moments, as if he hadn’t expected the words, but slowly the small tattoo began to stir upon Maui’s chest, and then sprung to life, a look of transparent surprise on his cartoony face. He hopped wildly in place. “Hey, relax- yes, it’s Zu! You look like a crazy person,” Maui berated his miniature in a hiss, slapping a hand over the tattoo to hide him. He could feel Mini-Maui wrestling to get free behind his palm. Still comfortably supporting Azura with one arm, Maui beamed down at her and attempted to steer her full attention back to where it belonged- on him, the actual demigod. “Sooooo…wanna catch up? Hear some new stories? I can always use an enthusiastic audience,” he suggested, bouncing impatiently on his heels.
“Oh yes, please! Unless what you’re referring to is your stories of eating coconuts all this time, then, no.”
She couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought. Obviously Maui being the demigod that he is, had spent his time battling monsters and creating legends like he did before. “Rescued any maidens lately? Battling monsters of the deep blue sea? Did ya finally changed that grass skirt since we last met?”
“Hey! I like a good coconut as much as the next guy, but I’m actually almost offended that you’d think that’s all I’m doing with my time,” Maui jabbed back. His grin was loose and easy, something he fell into without thinking, but beneath it he found himself growing just a little tense, realizing...that he had no new stories to tell. After where he’d been for the past few months. He was going to have to spin something off the top of his head. “Hey, what do ya say we talk over some food? --Not coconuts, either,” he added, setting Azura back on the ground and ruffling her hair, leaving it sticking up in every direction.
(it’s well past time I get to bed, but this has been so much fun, all! we’ll be back tomorrow, provided something catastrophic doesn’t happen- so we’ll see you then! <3)
Anger and exhaustion warred mightily within Maui as he held Jay as tightly as he dared, the human just suddenly seeming so very fragile, now with a stark reminder of how breakable she could be.
“I should’ve been here,” Maui groaned, and dragged his free hand harshly down his face, with a quick flash of bared teeth before he composed himself again. “I could have stopped him. Could have stopped this,” He gestured loosely to Jay’s mechanical arm. “…Look, we don’t need to talk about it now. I think you just need to rest,” he sighed, tilting his head sideways to bump lightly against hers. He mustered just enough humor to chuckle, “Think I could use a nap too! I’ve been told I make a decent pillow. Whaddaya think? Yeah, he’d decided already. After he was back in fighting shape (after he was convinced Jay would be alright by herself), he was going to head right down to Lalotai and take one of Tamatoa’s arms to match.
Jay sighed in turn. “Maui, please don’t blame yourself… You were busy with your own stuff… and if it involved gods, it had to be important.” She reached up and kissed his cheek. “The important thing is that I’m fine now. Honest.”
She smiled as they bumped foreheads, and curled up a little closer. “You know what though? That actually sounds perfect right now… Though can you even fit in a bed?” Jay managed to laugh.
Fine? Fine? Maui had great doubts about how fine someone could be after being torn rather handily apart by a monster, but he bit his lip and swallowed his words, determined to offer at least some comfort here. Keep his temper in check. “Oh! Uh, I was just gonna lay on. You know, the floor?” he chuckled, running a hand through his curls almost sheepishly. “That’s just sturdier, yeah? I could lay on the floor next to your bed if ya want, though.” He didn’t think he’d ever actually laid in a modern-day mattress, himself, but he’d seen them and was 90% sure that all but the sturdiest would take some form of damage from his considerable heft. Last thing he wanted to do was flatten Jay’s bed into the floor!
He saw Jay start to blink. Trying not to cry- and the furious tension in Maui snapped and bled out all at once. He didn’t relax quite as much as he just went limp, but he unclenched his hands and let them rest on his knees, before reaching back out.
“Hey. Alright, c’mere,” he grumbled, and looped an arm around Jay’s waist, pulling her back to him as carefully as he felt he could. “Don’t start cryin’. I gotcha.” He might still end up going after Tamatoa, he wasn’t completely sure yet. His anger was going to come back with a vengeance, and he was going to need an outlet. But for now, because the memories seemed to upset her so much, he was willing to let Jay defend the wretched crab, if she really had that kind of trust in him. Upon his chest, Maui felt Mini begin to wake and move, pacing around in concern, but hardly spared the tattoo a glance as it hopped about, no doubt silently trying to offer support.
“I’m fine…” she lied as she wiped her face, but she didn’t resist at all as Maui pulled her closer. “Like I said, that was… that was months ago…”
Jay smiled weakly at Mini Maui… She’d missed him too, and rested her hand on Maui’s chest next to the living tattoo.
“Look, it’s… behind everyone now… I know it looks bad, but if I can live with it, there’s no reason you shouldn’t too… And besides, there’s been a lot more good happening around here than bad… I’d rather just focus on that… or how you’re back.”
She looked up at him and pressed the side of her head against his shoulder. “Because I really did miss you… I was afraid something happened when you disappeared so suddenly…”
Anger and exhaustion warred mightily within Maui as he held Jay as tightly as he dared, the human just suddenly seeming so very fragile, now with a stark reminder of how breakable she could be. “I should’ve been here,” Maui groaned, and dragged his free hand harshly down his face, with a quick flash of bared teeth before he composed himself again. “I could have stopped him. Could have stopped this,” He gestured loosely to Jay’s mechanical arm. “...Look, we don’t need to talk about it now. I think you just need to rest,” he sighed, tilting his head sideways to bump lightly against hers. He mustered just enough humor to chuckle, “Think I could use a nap too! I’ve been told I make a decent pillow. Whaddaya think? Yeah, he’d decided already. After he was back in fighting shape (after he was convinced Jay would be alright by herself), he was going to head right down to Lalotai and take one of Tamatoa’s arms to match.
Maui was furious, and there was no mistaking that. But even through his growing rage, he could see Jay go pale with fear, feeling her tug backwards from him- so he let her step away without protest. None of his anger was directed towards her. She was the victim here.
“Who did it?” he snapped, taking a half-step forward before he remembered himself and drew a deep breath. He tried to relax the fist he didn’t quite remember clenching. He let out his breath in a whoosh. “Okay. Okay! Okay. Just…tell me what happened. Tell me who did this to you. When…when did this happen?” he asked. He sat heavily back on the floor, cross-legged, and laced his fingers together, squeezing them hard to stave off his aggression. Someone was getting their ass whooped, that was for certain- but not until he got the story, at least.
“… A few months ago…” Jay answered quietly, and she rolled up her sleeve so Maui could see the whole prosthetic. The skin around its base seemed off-color, and had some unusual scarring, but it was obscured by the metal at the moment.
She took a breath to calm herself, even though she was still visibly nervous with Maui’s obvious rage bubbling just underneath the surface.
“… There was an Anon… Those gray-faced characters? I don’t know if you know this or not, but… some of them can cast spells. Most of the time it’s just harmless mischief, but… not this one…
They cast a spell on Tamatoa that turned him feral… He wasn’t himself… Didn’t know who he was… Couldn’t speak… Lost all thought except for whatever his instincts told him… He ended up hurting a lot of people like that, a-and I tried to stop him myself, but I-… I…”
Her words caught in her throat. She hadn’t mentally relived that day in a while, but now all of the memories were seeping back. Her own fists clenched as she tried to force them back… determined not to cry again.
“It’s not Tamatoa’s fault…” she finally repeated after a long pause. “He didn’t know what he was doing… It’s not his fault…”
He saw Jay start to blink. Trying not to cry- and the furious tension in Maui snapped and bled out all at once. He didn’t relax quite as much as he just went limp, but he unclenched his hands and let them rest on his knees, before reaching back out. “Hey. Alright, c’mere,” he grumbled, and looped an arm around Jay’s waist, pulling her back to him as carefully as he felt he could. “Don’t start cryin’. I gotcha.” He might still end up going after Tamatoa, he wasn’t completely sure yet. His anger was going to come back with a vengeance, and he was going to need an outlet. But for now, because the memories seemed to upset her so much, he was willing to let Jay defend the wretched crab, if she really had that kind of trust in him. Upon his chest, Maui felt Mini begin to wake and move, pacing around in concern, but hardly spared the tattoo a glance as it hopped about, no doubt silently trying to offer support.
“Everybody wants to smash me against the wall, sweetheart,” Maui replied smugly, and while that was technically true given his penchant for making enemies, he was grinning in a way that indicated a crude joke.
With no intention of keeping Jay captive on his lap, the demigod raised a hand to help steady her as she rose to her feet, bracing her arm- And he paused. Then froze. “What.” he said. Metal. Her hand…was metal? No, it had to be some kind of glove. It better be a glove. Fumbling, Maui brushed her sleeve upwards, his eyes darting between her arm and her face and back again, and he had that look dawning on his face that usually heralded violence. “What- Jay, what? Did you- was this Tamatoa?” Maui began, starting to lurch to his feet with one hand wrapped around the metal of her wrist. “Who hurt you? Is this your hand? Did Tamatoa do this?”
SHIT
Jay paled in direct proportion to Maui’s anger, and she tried to pull her hand away as they both stood up.
“Uh… It’s… It’s uh…“ She struggled for words… Dammit… She knew she’d have to explain this sooner or later, but she had been hoping he wouldn’t notice so soon! … Though in retrospect that was wishful thinking. Kinda hard not to notice when your girlfriend suddenly had a shiny mechanical limb up to the elbow.
She swallowed nervously. “Yeah… That’s… that’s my hand,” she admitted, wiggling the fingers for emphasis. “B-but before you get too mad, it… it wasn’t his fault!”
Sure, he’d attempted to kill her multiple times and at one point sent the monster equivalent of a hitman after her, but this one wasn’t his fault.
Maui was furious, and there was no mistaking that. But even through his growing rage, he could see Jay go pale with fear, feeling her tug backwards from him- so he let her step away without protest. None of his anger was directed towards her. She was the victim here. “Who did it?” he snapped, taking a half-step forward before he remembered himself and drew a deep breath. He tried to relax the fist he didn’t quite remember clenching. He let out his breath in a whoosh. “Okay. Okay! Okay. Just...tell me what happened. Tell me who did this to you. When...when did this happen?” he asked. He sat heavily back on the floor, cross-legged, and laced his fingers together, squeezing them hard to stave off his aggression. Someone was getting their ass whooped, that was for certain- but not until he got the story, at least.
