Avatar

Self Loathed & Self Confessed

@selfrighteouslyproclaimed-blog

Avatar
Me: Sees a male-female close friendship that never turns into romance and is instead a platonic relationship where both of them support and care for one another without any expectation for anything else
Me: Starts applauding while tears of joy roll down my face unheeded
Avatar

My buddy read an article about octopus intelligence. It was feeding time, and the handler dumped some shrimp into an octopus’ tank. Then he went into another room and sat at his desk.

A while later, a shrimp was tossed onto his desk.

The octopus, upon finding one bad shrimp in the lot, had grabbed it, escaped its tank, crossed the hall, and threw the expired shrimp at its caretaker. Not only does this showcase their problem-solving capabilities, but also that it could have escaped at any time. It just broke out this time to chuck an off shrimp in indignation at its handler. That’s not just intelligence, that’s a human-like reaction. Kinda make you wonder exactly how smart these guys can be…

OH MY GOD

I went to the aquarium once and we had a tour and we walked past the octopus tank and it was duct taped shut so I asked why and the guy was like. “Well, we had a problem before because these fish were disappearing randomly at night and we had no idea why. Turns out the octopus had memorised the night guards rounds and would creep out of its tank, crawl across the floor to the fish tank, have a little snack and be back in its own tank with the lid shut before the guard came back.” they are super smart

I love octopuses so, so much.

@_@

I am both delighted and FUCKING TERRIFIED.

Once I went to the aquarium where they had a baby pacific red octopus in a tank. I had gone there to work on a few real life sketches, obviously I wanted to do one of an octopus. So I kinda just kneeled in front of the tank, and started sketching. The octopus didn’t mind, he sat happily. Then, 5 minutes later, he started moving to the front of the tank, where I was. This tiny octopus faces me directly and starts posing. I don’t know how other to explain it but he started curlung his tentacles in this really graceful way then wouldn’t move for a few minutes. Then again, a new pose. That tiny cute motherfucker knew I was drawing him.

Avatar

It’s Murder time at college so everything’s chaos

A few people have been asking so let me explain

Murder’s a game my college does every year where everyone’s given a plastic knife with someone’s name on it. The knives are shoved under your door at midnight and for the next week you have to try and ‘kill’ the person on your knife. If you kill them, you get their knife and have to kill that person, and so on, until there is one lone survivor. You can’t kill someone in the dining hall or in their room, or if they’re naked. I’m pretty sure the prize is a bottle of vodka.

It gets super intense; some floors unscrew most of their lights to make it harder to find the right person, or keep the fire emergency doors closed with black garbage bags taped up so you can’t even see into the floor. Some people walk around in nothing but a towel so that if someone comes at them they can just drop it and be immune. People walk in groups. Everyone’s suspicious of everyone. Friends are no longer trusted. No one and nowhere is safe.

i want this

Avatar

MY SISTER JUST GOT HIT ON BY THE CHEF AT THE RESTAURANT WE’RE AT VIA THE WAITRESS I’M DYING

THE WAITRESS GOT MY SISTER’S NUMBER FOR THE CHEF AND THEN PROCEEDED TO GUSH ABOUT HIM TO MY SISTER AND THEN A SECOND WAITRESS DID THE SAME AND THEN THE FIRST ONE TOLD US MY SISTER WASN’T ALLOWED TO ORDER DESSERT BECAUSE IT WAS TAKEN CARE OF AND THEN HE MADE HER A TASTING PLATE OF EVERY DESSERT ON THE MENU AND THEN HE CAME OUT AND HE WAS SO NERVOUS AND IT WAS REALLY SUPER SWEET.

More men should present dessert plates when trying to hit on a woman.