i’ve never seen something so accurate

“hey i’m emotionally unstable and not good at texting do you wanna date me”

half of me is a hopeless romantic and the other half of me is, well, an asshole

movies are so weird people hang out like twice and theyre all like “im in love with you” calm down maybe

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute I enjoy doing nothing so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed

This is legit and people don’t realize it.

“hey what are you doing?” “nothing”  “oh great! so you are avaliab-” “no you don’t understand. I’m doing nothing.” 

I remember when I first found out the truth about “Somali pirates” I got chills because of how horrific the truth was and how insanely creepily well the media had twisted the situation. Every single fucking article making it seem like these “pirates” were just after money or something holding innocent people hostage and I never gave it a second thought, why would I? There was no indication that people were trying to legitimately fight off disgusting imperialism that left nuclear waste in their waters, that over 300 people have died from radiation sickness, that Europeans have been stealing Somalia’s seafood because they overfished their own waters and the indigenous fisherman are starving and so these “pirates” emerged to deal with those stealing their country’s natural resources. The truth is enough to make anyone sick to their stomachs.

This is a great article about the truth about Somali pirates, in case anyone wants a source.

being an introvert is really hard because there is no polite way to tell someone that you’re in a bad mood because you’re exhausted from socializing.

#oh my god #look at that face #you look like my next mistake

It’s been over a hundred years in the making, but the new Smithsonian museum celebrating Black history finally opened this weekend

Way back in 1929, President Hoover approved a proposal for a National Memorial Building for African American achievements in arts and sciences — but Congress did not. Congress didn’t officially pass an act to erect a federally owned museum until 2003. Ground wasn’t broken until nine years later, with a little help from President Obama.

READ MORE

Not taking any chances

I scrolled past this and the guilt was too much

I wonder if, in superhero universes, the villains ever get contacted by those “Make a Wish Foundation” and similar people.

I mean, the heroes do, of course they do, kids who want to meet Spiderman or Superman or get to be carried by the Flash as he runs through Central City for just thirty seconds.

But surely there are also the kids, who - because they are kids and sometimes kids are just weird - decide that what they really, really want is to meet a supervillain. Because he’s scary or she’s awesome or that freeze ray is just really, really cool, you know?

Oh, man, that would absolutely be a thing. The heroes would be so weirded out by it. The villains with codes of ethics would totally band together to force the villains without one (should they be the one requested) to do their part for the cause.

But imagine the person who has to track down the villains and organise everything?

Like, the first time it happens, no one actually thinks it’s possible, but one of the newbies volunteers to at least try. They get lucky, the kid wants to meet one of the villains who is well known to have a personal code of ethics (eg one of the rogues), and it takes them weeks to track the villain down to this one bar they’ve been seen at a few times, plus a week of staking out said bar, but they finally find them.

So they approach the villain, very politely introduce themselves and explain the situation, finishing with an assurance that, should the villain agree, no law enforcement or heroes will be informed of the meeting.

The villain, assuming it’s a joke, laughs in their face.

At this point, the poor volunteer, who has giving up weeks of their time and no small amount of effort to track down this villain, all so a sweet little girl can meet the person who somehow inspired them, well, at this point the employee sees red.

They explode, yelling at this villain about the little girl who, for some unknown reason, absolutely loved them, had a hand-made stuffed toy of them and was inspired by their struggle to keeping fighting her own and wasn’t the villain supposed to have ethics? The entire bar is witness to this big bad villain getting scolded by some bookish nobody a foot shorter than them.

When the volunteer is done, the villain calmly knocks back their drink, grips the volunteers shoulder and drags them outside. The bar’s patrons assume that person will never be seen again, the volunteer included. But once they’re outside, the villain apologises for their assumption, asks for the kid’s details so they can drop by in the near future, not saying when for obvious reasons. They also give the very relieved volunteer a phone number to call if someone asks for them again.

A week later, the little girl’s room is covered in villain merchandise, several expensive and clearly stolen gifts and she is happily clutching a stack of signed polaroids of her and the villain.

The next time a kid asks to meet a villain, guess who gets that assignment?

Turns out, the first villain was quite touched by the experience of meeting their little fan, and word has gotten around. The second villain happily agrees when they realise it’s the same volunteer who asked the other guy. Unfortunately, one of the heroes sees the villain entering the kid’s hospital and obviously assumes the worst. They rush in, ready to drag the villain out, but the volunteer stands in their way. The hero spends five minutes getting scolded for trying to stop the villain from actually doing a good thing and almost ruining the kid’s wish. The volunteer gets a reputation among villains as someone who can not only be trusted with personal contact numbers but who will do everything they can to keep law enforcement away during their visits.

The volunteer has a phonebook written in cypher of all the villain’s phone numbers, with asterixes next to the ones to call if any other villains give them trouble.

Around the office, they gain the unofficial job title of The Villain Wrangler.

The heroes are genuinely flabbergasted by The Villain Wrangler. At first, some of the heroes try to reason with them.

Heroes: “Can’t you, just, give us their contact details? They’ll never even have to know it was you.”

The Villain Wrangler: “Yeah sure, <rollseyes> because all these evil geniuses could never possibly figure out that it’s me who happens to be the common thread in the sudden mass arrests. Look man, even if it wouldn’t get me killed, it would disappoint the kids. You wouldn’t want to disappoint the kids would you?”

Heroes: “… no~ but…”

The Villain Wrangler: “Exactly.”

Eventually, one of the anti-hero types gets frustrated, and decides to take a stand. They kidnap the Villain Wrangler and demand that they give up the contents of the little black book of Villains, or suffer the consequences. It’s For the Greater Good, the anti-hero insists as they tie the Villain Wrangler to a pillar.

The Villain Wrangler: “You complete idiot, put me back before someone figures out that I’m missing.”

Anti-hero: “…excuse me?”

The Villain Wrangler: “Ugh, do I have to spell this out for you? Do you actually want your secret base to be wiped off the map? With us in it? Sugarsticks, how long has it been? If they get suspicious, they check in, and then if I miss a check-in, they tend to come barging into wherever I am just to prove that they can, even if they figure out that they’re not being threatened by proxy. Suffice to say, Auntie Muriel really regretted throwing my phone into the pool when she strenuously objected to me answering it during family time. If they think for even one moment that I’ve given them up, they won’t hesitate to obliterate both of us from their potential misery. You do know some of the people in my book have like missiles and djinni and elemental forces at their disposal, right?”

Anti-hero: “Wait, what? I thought they trusted you?!”

The Villain Wrangler: “Trust is such a strong word!”

Villain: “Indeed.”

Anti-hero: “Wait, wha-” <slumps over, dart sticking out of neck>

The Villain Wrangler: “Thanks. I thought they were going to hurt me.”

Villain: “You did well. You kept them distracted, and gave us time to follow your signal.” <cuts Villain Wrangler free>

The Villain Wrangler: <rubbing circulation back into limbs> “Yeah well, you know me, I do whatever I have to. So I’ll see you Wednesday at four at St Martha’s? I’ve got an 8yo burns unit patient recovering from her latest batch of skin grafts who could really use a pep talk.”

Villain: “… of course. Yes… I… yes.”

The Villain Wrangler: “I just think you could really reach her, you know?”

Villain: <unconsciously runs fingers over mask> “I… yes, but, what should I say?”

The Villain Wrangler: “Whatever advice you think you could have used the most just after.”

Villain: <hoists Anti-hero over shoulder almost absently> “….yes.”

The Villain Wrangler wasn’t lying to the Anti-hero. They know that the more ruthless villains would not hesitate if they thought for one second that the Anti-hero would betray them.

But this is not the first time the Villain Wrangler has gone to extreme lengths to protect their identities.

Trust is a strong word. The Villain Wrangler earned it, and is terrified by what it could mean.

Okay this absolutely needs to be a full-length novel or movie, immediately.

We just got an unprecedented look at a black hole ripping apart a star

For the first time ever, astronomers got a close-up peek at a black hole ripping apart a star, a rare event that results in some of the star’s material getting ejected out into space. To research this phenomenon, astronomers used data from a tidal disruption that happened 3.9 billion years ago. Studying tidal disruptions like this one is revealing new information about how black holes behave.

Follow @the-future-now​

Awesome!!

@defenestration-committee AAAAAAAAA

@sp4cetwink

AAAAAAAAAAAA

SPAAAAAAACEEEE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

UNC rape survivor Delaney Robinson comes forward with brave statement

Delaney Robinson, a sophomore at the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill alleged Tuesday that a football player at the school raped her in February and that UNC has done nothing about it. In a powerful personal statement she explained how “she did everything a rape victim is supposed to do.”

Remember when Netflix and Tumblr didn’t exist and you read like 10 books a week? Good times.

me: [learns the meaning of a previously unknown word]

the word: [coincidentally starts showing up everywhere in the following days]

me:

A 22-month-old female scaredy cat tiger appeared to get the shock of her young life when she encountered a dead leaf floating on a pool of water in the Bandhavgarh National Park, India. Clearly unusure about just what was approaching her, the partially submerged youngster’s tail shot up in the air and with teeth bared she let out her most fearsome growl - all in an effort to scare the humble leaf away.

Picture: HERMANN BREHM / NPL / Rex Features

I CAN’T BREATHE

OMFG I AM DYING!

this is like the happiest thing I have encountered in a while

Some guy just mansplained space to an actual fucking astronaut.

how is that mansplaining? Oh no, a guy stated something he knows to a woman, what are we gonna do? what’s wrong with a man explaining to a woman what he knows? When the fuck have women been above having shit explained to him?

Honestly, this manplaining shit is just a sexist way to silence men. It’s disgusting.

He thinks he’s correcting her and is “explaining” to the expert the thing she’s talking about.

“Sexist way to silence men”.

“How is this mansplaining?” Mansplaining: When a man assumes he has greater knowledge in something than a woman, and tries to “educate” her, without first establishing what her actual level of knowledge is. Mansplaining, Ultimate Dick Edition: When a man who is not an expert or specialist in a field tries to “educate” a woman who is an expert or specialist in it. Bonus point for misapplying or misunderstanding terms, or confusing laymen’s usage of a word with scientific usage, but it still counts even without that. Random guy tries to explain the laws of thermodymanics to a fucking qualified astronaut? Not only is that mansplaining, it’s a perfect example of Ultimate Dick Edition.

The best part about this is that he’s wrong. She absolutely used the term spontaneous in its correct chemical context. It’s a SPONTANEOUS reaction

Jesse Williams Joins Black-Owned Tech Company Scholly To Help Students Find Scholarships.

Jesse Williams is a gift to humanity that just keeps on giving. We all remember his woke speech at the 2016 BET Awards. This time Jesse teamed up with Philly-based mobile app Scholly. Scholly is a scholarship-matching service created to help underprivileged students find money for college. Williams himself worked as a public school teacher before he started his acting career, which partially inspired him to join the Scholly team and help more talented and smart kids get better education.

#BlackPride

!!!!!!!!