Fuck This Shit Im Out

i feel like a wild animal, and i wanna hold a piece of meat in my mouth and shake it around. i want to pour my own blood all over myself and walk around with my wrists slit open

anyways i’m feeling very normal today

everything is glass and i am a hammer going 500 mph

welcome to the glass shop please watch your stop, and all i can manage to do is break everything

is it self sabotage or am i bored? who knows, not me.

i want to cry tears of blood and rip my teeth out one by one to show you how i feel. but all i can say “im gonna stop talking” and just, turn my phone off like a fucking coward. grow up grow up grow up

i feel like i need to be foaming at the mouth and have blood dripping from my wounds. but i look the same and act the same.

hey siri am i going full psychotic break or can i like? sleep it off

why do i feel like such a scumbag all the time, why am i like this?

full of dramatics and thematics, i need to be put down ah ha ha

i wish my emotions wouldn’t go from 0-1,000 in under .5 seconds. i wish i could not have a gut reaction to anything. i’m so tired.

this is either gonna be great or the reason my homies have a bumper sticker with my face on it

I’m just going to SCREAM

other people’s moms know how shitty mine is and they’re trying to make up for it

This year has already been off to a terrible start. The dreams, they’re consistent in people but the actions change. Not really nightmares but for sure not pleasant. Sometimes I wish I didn’t dream at all.

It’s all been one big cloud and I’m sure I’m just severely depressed. But it’s not getting better and it’s easier to just wallow than do anything about it. My personal clock is slowing down it’s ticking, the battery is wearing down. My parts are becoming rusty. Soon it will stop but the question is when.

Not to jerk my own dick but not relapsing this week is a fucking accomplishment

I guess saying “I’m not gonna argue about this with you” is enough to make ya mad. Unlucky.

There’s a lot of things I have to be but nice to your shitty boyfriend is not one of them. And if it took you this long to realize that just not my problem. A person can only tolerate so much and that’s the muthafuckin tea.

I’ve been kinder to myself about my goals but I’m spiraling out of control with old habits. I feel so sucker punched with everything. Every emotion feels 1000xs worse than it should. I should not feel this terrible and yet.

I want a love like mine but I doubt I’ll ever get it. If I come to terms with that now, maybe I can finally be okay. Who’s to say. Surely not me.

-ate a meal

-drank a lot of water

-took two showers

-cried on the clock

-cried off the clock

-stared into the mirror in confusion

Jfc today was bad