I think the only person I've met in real life with 100% career satisfaction was this gal I knew who was a presenter at a children's science museum and delivered every line like she was running a WWE match. Every time you passed the room where she was giving a presentation, you'd hear something like "WHO'S READY FOR CEPHALOPODS?!?" and the kids would go absolutely nuts cheering.
Did you know that leeches were once used to predict storms? Well, a tornado warning just dropped and my squad is climbing
My dad is a meteorologist and he has never once warned me about an incoming storm. My leeches, however......
https://amp.theguardian.com/news/2015/apr/19/weatherwatch-forecasting-tempest-prognosticator-storm-leech
*urgently* Lads, the leechometre is at 12 bong, I repeat, 12 bong!
"tempest prognosticator" absolutely sounds like some kind of arcane device a wizard would have lying around in his workshop
It would also probably have leeches in it.
The Philadelphia Inquirer, Pennsylvania, July 29, 1904
Well that’s not so crazy I mean how much could–
OH
WHY YOU SHOULD WRITE HORRIBLY:
1. You’ll never write anything if you don’t
Notice: not only do your friends actually like you, they secretly like you twice as much as they let on
An experience that made me feel much more assured in my friendships was at college, a friend and myself were talking about a third friend of ours and how cool and knowledgeable and smart she is and how we feel like we could never be that cool. The next day I was working with a professor on some paper presentations we were about to have and when I came out of the staff room I was informed that these two aforementioned friends were having the same discussion about me. And it turns out we spent a lot of time thinking about our friends who aren't currently in the room and gushing over how cool and smart and talented they are without being able to say all of it to their face.
Your friends secretly love you a lot more than they already express, just like you love them so intensely that saying it all to their faces would sound clumsy to your own ears. It's true though
weird Pinball
Op with all due respect this is literally the opposite of pinball
The idea of dragons in modern times is so fun because imagine a hot summer day on your vacay and go to use the hotel pool and staff is like "valued guests we regret to inform you that the pool area is out of service at the moment, we apologize for the inconvenience"
And people like "wtf why" looking out their hotel room window and there's this. This dragon just curled up in the pool chilling, literally, cooling itself down
Some of the staff are trying to gently shoo him away and the dragon does a soft little "rrrrrr" like a grumpy cat and a warning puff of smoke and they're like "fuck it i don't get paid nearly enough for this" and no ones using the pool today sorry!
cackling at this, can NOT believe it's a real, actual quote. it reads so much like one of those clickhole pieces
He also said this about the snake.
All of this is hilarious, but a gorgeous quote from the same interview:
“In all seriousness, this discovery is humbling. It’s a reminder that there’s still so much to learn about our wild world — and that humans are one small part of an impossibly vast biosphere. On this planet, all fates are intertwined, and right now, one million species are teetering on the edge of oblivion. We have an existential mandate to mend our broken relationship with nature and protect the places that sustain life.”
My cat has to wear a cone this week and it made me think of an angel whose halo is a cone.
Local idiot is cone-free and back on his regular sillyzone nonsense.
I am obsessed with the theological implications of this
genuinely speechless over this being seen as “chubby.” like i really believe some of you should be hit with a baseball bat
same energy as this. you are all so fucking stupid
