Your honor they are vibing in this fucking club tonight!!!! (this is my baby, my pride and joy)
Guys i thought i was only into anime men. (I'm biromantic demi, for context.) Turns out that they just code anime men the way i like and it turns out you can do anime women like that too if you want
Proof: lana skye 😵💫🥵😳
Due to the exciting successes of 'weird horror' and 'hopepunk', we're happy to announce a new slate of literary genres for release in Q3 2023. From now on you can expect to start seeing marketing TikToks and insufferable thinkpieces responding to marketing TikToks about:
- Nicepunk
- Eastern Orthodox Fantasy
- Old Adult
- Cosmic Horror But Without The Racist Parts
- Yiffbong
- Ahistorical Romance
- Political Snoozer
- Erotic Mystery
- How Does This Have A Netflix Show It Just Came Out?
- Mormon Realism
- Dog Isekai
- Shampoo Ad Novelization
- Rock-hard SciFi
- Smileglad
- Nasty Fiction
- Cosmic Horror But It's Only The Racist Parts
- 'The Scottish Genre'
- Penis Books
My boyfriend discussing boruto sasuke: "Sasuke is a husk. fucking sasuke would be like fucking a fleshlight or a dildo that hates life."
as swimsuits start appearing in stores i want to remind all my bush girlies not to give in. bush hair poking out out of your bottoms is sexy. we WILL take big bikini wax down
periods should especially not be allowed when it’s hot outside. and you have to work.
Castell Henllys Iron Age Hillfort, Crymych, Pembrokeshire, Wales
Fully losing it at this facebook screenshot. 22 inches of green and 1.5 of carrot.
#HAHAHAHAHAH#not that anyone is super curious about the answe BUT:#either they didnt thin them at all so the crop got super tall or#it needs less nitrogen - the dude probably fertilized it with nitrogen heavy fertilizer#soil composition favors leaf development.#for carrots you either shouldnt fertilize or use something heavier to#phosphate/potassium (like a 1:3:3 or 3:4:4)#later in its life#so the leaves can get nice n big first. you want them to get the light but not require all the energy#that said i made ramen with carrot greens yesterday and it was super super tasty#so it really isn't a loss#also take this with a grain of salt I'm a self- and family- taught gardener not an expert
guy who replies to all his friends' selfies with the flame emoji but it's because he abhors the graven image and he's trying to burn them but he doesn't know how computers work
due to budget cuts our treasurer is now a little mouse pulling his empty pockets inside out and looking up forlornly with great big tears in his eyes
YOUNG WOMAN - Actually, detective, I'm a woman.
EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - She says it so insistently, as if arguing with you. You may have upset her.
COMPOSURE [Formidable: Failure] - You feel a pit in your stomach. You did something wrong, but you don't know what.
LOGIC [Trivial: Success] - Her way of dressing, the feminine name, yet deep voice - it should have been clear to you sooner. She's transgender.
ESPIRIT DE CORPS [Formidable: Success] - Almost imperceptible, the lieutenant anxiously twitches his eyebrow.
DAMAGED MORALE - 1
- Transgender? What's that?
- This doesn't have any bearing on the investigation.
ENCYCLOPEDIA [Trivial: Success] - A transgender person is someone who does not identify with the gender they were assigned at birth. Oftentimes they will dress conforming to their desired gender roles, change their names, and seek medical intervention to, "transition."
- Gender is rather bourgeois, anyway.
- Why would any proud Revacholian discard their masculinity?
- Changing your gender? That sounds like quite the hustle. Maybe we can learn a thing or two from this woman.
- That's cool. I have no opinion on this one way or another.
RHETORIC [Medium: Success] - Just as Mazov dared to challenge the established order of capitalism, so too do others challenge the order of things such as sex and gender.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Trivial: Success] - IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE WE'VE FELT THE TOUCH OF A WOMAN. WHO CARES IF SHE USED TO BE A MAN? HAVE SEX WITH HER NOW! ITS WHAT A REAL MAN WOULD DO!
EMPATHY - [Trivial: Success] - Don't do that. It's clear now, you upset her for accidentally calling her a man. Just apologize.
COMPOSURE [Medium: Failure] - Profusely.
ESPIRIT DE CORPS [Medium: Success] - It's important to be a good ally.
DRAMA [Medium: Success] - Make a real show of it, sire!
- "Oh, I didn't realize. I'm sorry."
- "I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'll leave you alone forever now."
- "I haven't been a good representative of the RCM. We're here to help the people of Martinaise, no matter their identity. I'm sorry to have let you down."
- [Drama - Legendary 14] Try and come up with an elaborate, heartfelt apology in the style of the turn of the century thespians.
HIGH 83% +1 Found testosterone ampoule on nightstand. +1 Homo-Sexual Underground. +1 Read about the turn of the century thespians. -1 Recovered your gun. -1 Masculinity challenged. This is a Red Check. It cannot be retried.
⚀⚀
CHECK FAILURE
YOU - You try and come up with the words to convey your apology to the young woman, but you come up blank. It's hard to fit, "transgender" into iambic pentameter, as it turns out.
DRAMA - I'm sorry, sire. I have failed you.
KIM KITSURAGI - "Detective? You've been standing there for a whole minute. Are you okay?"
ESPIRIT DE CORPS - Shit, the lieutenant is onto us. We have to say something soon, or we could lose him.
COMPOSURE [Trivial: Success] - Don't worry, we can still salvage this. Anyone have any ideas?
VOLITION [Heroic: Failure] - Let me handle this.
You - "I'm so sorry, I'm so fucking sorry. I'm such a fucking failure. Do you want me to kill myself?"
funnytwittertweets
Solid fucking point
Said this to my wife and she pulled out our vase with an octopus on it. She got me.
*If you can't walk that far or the roads to the store aren't safe to walk just pretend you can and they are for the purposes of this poll.
LMAO i just looked up how long it would have taken to walk to Walmart when we lived in rural Tennessee. 14 fucking hours
(these days is 58 minutes, and it's honestly GREAT proximity to grocery store for rural USA, but the road is utterly unwalkable (no shoulder and overhangs a drainage ditch) 🙃
yeah it's like three and half hours for me but there aren't sidewalks so it'd be super dangerous unless you were walking through peoples yards and as far from traffic in the roadside ditch as possible (even then there are parts of the road where you can't avoid crossing or being near the road which is incredibly dangerous). and i'd definitely need to use a wheelchair so??? rip. the closest grocery store is also in a food desert and price gouges accordingly too. so even if i was abled the best case scenario without a car would still be to walk on foot for almost four hours risking literal death to get to a store where i couldn't afford to actually buy very much at all. 'MURICA!
"biblical angels" you do realise there are angels in the old testament that are literally just regular looking guys, right? you do know that the hallucinogenic incoherent descriptions are in like. two books. and the rest of the time angels are just guys. you know that, right?
and I'm not saying don't have fun with weird angels. I'm saying, either the eldritch forms are for special occasions, or the society of the angels is Many-Eyed-Many-Winged-Interlocking-Circles, Four-Faces-Six-Wings, and Mike.
Literally Raphael is just a normal person!
this is what the heavenly breakroom is like
So weird that there's a biblical angel who looks just like a water cooler