These tights are so perfect
Sold out everywhere </3
"jesse pinkman takes a girl by the hand and leads her to his bedroom but instead of having sex they just play Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing" sounds like a tumblr meme made by someone who never saw breaking bad. but he really did that
"jesse pinkman tells walter white he can't cook meth that day becuase he's going to the georgia o'keefe museum" DEFINITELY sounds like a shitpost by someone who hasn't seen breaking bad and yet it really truly happened
me: brrr, it's a cold day! might grab myself a hot cocoa or a coffee!
pliny the elder: wow. literal freak behavior
Japanese macaques.
Do they actually drink it? I thought they just soak in it :0
Drinking your hot bathwater sounds nasty
Yep!
slurpp
Anonymous asked:
Respectfully King Arthur himself could not pull me out of you
This is fucking hilarious
Get you a man who's like
here’s what’s going to happen: im gonna fuck your dad. in his hole, no flip-flop versatile fag shit. hes gonna love it, whimpering moaning all that crap. i don’t care, im recording it. im going to take all those stupid bisexual bottom noises he’s making and im going to sample them for my hot new hardcore dubstep album. it will suck shit and a bunch of poly gen x losers are going to love it and give me so much money because they all own independent breweries in portland where most of their income is from the weekly burlesque shows they hold there. then im going to buy a sailboat and sail to the remote island of tristen de cunha where some of the finest wool in the world is woven. ill spend the rest of my dubstep money on that wool, unprocessed. sell it at a premium in siberian marketplaces. then im going to buy imax, the company. every imax screen in the world is going to only show legally blondes, the legally blonde spinoff about elle woods’ twin cousins. everyone is going to be pissed as fuck and i wont care.
if i was a kitty cat id be roasting whole chickens in the oven every day seasoning it whith that nip and checking the internal temperature and shit... share it with my kitty friends and we all have our different preferences for what part of the meat we like so you know we enjoy it fully. except for the bones you know cus that shits dangerous for cats so then i take the leftover bones and make a nice broth we can sip on for the rest of the day while we lay back and play checkers or smack eachother for no reason
Autistics:
The autistic instinct to get up and go. The urge to split. The autistic irish goodbye. The symptom of fucking off. Simply walking away. Okay. I've seen enough here *goes*
My autistic ass leaving the function:
T4T
"It’s kind of a joke. Trans girls fucking trans girls. But really, it’s an ethos. Trans girls loving trans girls, above all else. Hoes before bros. [...] It’s a promise. You just promise to love trans girls above all else. The idea—although maybe not the practice—is that a girl could be your worst enemy, the girl you wouldn’t piss on to put out a fire, but if she’s trans, you’re gonna offer her your bed, you’re gonna share your last hormone shot."
-Torrey Peters, Infect Your Friends and Loved Ones [PDF]
whoah bro your boobs are looking so masculine today
whoah bro your boobs are looking so masculine today
Loving reminder from your land history auntie:
North American golf courses have had 50-100 years of arsenic and mercury based fungicide and herbicides applied to their soils.
Do not eat anything that has been grown on a golf course or downstream from a golf course. I know it sounds cool and radical, but you are too valuable to poison yourself with heavy metals.
Protect each other, turn your local golf course into a pollinator garden, not a sex forest or community garden.
STOP FLAGGING US FOR SAYING "TRANS"
Bird Count: 1
Type: Dinosaur
Medium: Meme
Midwestern Jews! There is a small family farm near Stockholm Wisconsin that offers kosher chicken. The only thing is that they are not allowed to ship it, it has to be picked up. I thought maybe there’s a few followers who would be interested and are within a reasonable driving distance. I’ve talked chickens with Martha and she truly cares about their welfare so much - rest assured that any chicken from them had the best life possible!
They sell non kosher beef, so if you don’t keep kosher and want to support a small Jewish farm that’s a great option as well.
